Time crawled on and my virginity stayed intact. I had a few fumbles with a guy or two after a couple of dates but I still struggled to let them go any further than getting their hands up my skirt. Of course, even though I returned the favour, it always resulted in them not calling and actively avoiding any contact I tried to make.
I was at my best friend Sam's flat one Saturday night with our mutual friend Kirsten; we were having a catch up over pizza and wine. Once we had got onto our third bottle of white, the sex talk started.
"I'm not kidding, he was that big that I couldn't walk properly the next day," Kirsten said then laughed. She stood up and walked bow legged across the room to demonstrate how hard she had been fucked the weekend before. We all laughed and she sat back down.
"Come on, don't be making Mollie jealous," Sam said with a look in my direction.
"Still no action, Moll?" Kirsten asked, taking another drink.
"Nope, I'm thinking of becoming a nun though," I joked. There's nothing more I want than to be fucked so hard I can't stand up but I just can't seem to get there. Things are all good until it gets to undressing then I generally freak out and make an excuse or run away.
I've no idea why, I've got a decent body and I'm not shy but I just can't take that step. I thought it was just a phase, some nervous glitch when things got physical with my first serious boyfriend but after he left due to my frigidity I never seemed to be able put myself out there again. After three years though it was more than just a phase, it was getting beyond ridiculous.
"I can set you up if you want, though I'm not sure the size of him would be good for a first time," Kirsten mused, I guessed she was thinking of the guy she had just been telling us about.
"It's not lack of willing men that's the issue, it's my reluctance to let them use anything more than their fingers," I told them both.
"And tongues, surely?" Sam said with a wink. I didn't get what she was saying and my face obviously gave me away. "Come on, Mollie," her eyes were wide, her eyebrows raised in surprise.
"You've never let anyone go down on you?" Kirsten asked me.
"They're lucky if I take my panties off, never mind let them get their head down there," I said with an awkward laugh.
"Seriously, Mollie, if you don't get laid by the end of the month I'll eat you out myself," Sam said. Me and Kirsten laughed but Sam's smile had a hint of seriousness to it.
Our conversation continued, moving on to men we thought were hot and then a rapid fire question and answer session on famous men that I would let fuck me if I had the chance.
After five bottles of wine between us we were all worse for wear. Since I had drove Kirsten over and I was in no state to drive we decided to crash at Sam's rather than pay for a taxi.
Sam gave us blankets and pillows so we could sleep on the sofas in her front room. Kirsten was snoring before Sam was even back with our temporary bedding so I threw a blanket over her then dropped the pillows onto my makeshift bed for the night.
I stripped down to my plain black cotton bra and panties, wobbling on one foot trying to pull off my skinny jeans and giggling too loud about it because of all the wine. I got comfortable under the blanket and the sounds of Kirsten's snores drifted me off to sleep.
I woke up a few hours later, disorientated and desperate for a glass of water. I untangled myself from the blanket and got to my feet. I swayed a little but stayed upright, the effect of the wine still messing with my head and balance.
I walked slowly and carefully to the kitchen, making sure I was quiet as possible so I didn't wake the girls. I got a bottle of water from the fridge and drank almost half of it. I could feel my hangover starting so I raided Sam's cupboard for headache pills. I couldn't even find a first aid kit so I decided to try the bathroom.
On my way to the bathroom I passed by Sam's bedroom. Her door was wide open and I looked in as I walked by, I've no idea why but I'm glad I did. Sam was asleep, laying naked, legs spread wide on her bed, her duvet on the floor.
I stopped and, maybe it was because of the wine, I took a good look at Sam. She has bigger breasts than me, though since she was laying down they looked the same size as mine when I'm standing up.
My eyes strayed to her clean shaven pussy and my stomach twisted in a pleasurable way. I couldn't stop staring at her and I could feel my nipples getting hard in my bra. Without really thinking about it I tiptoed into Sam's room to get a closer look.
The sight of Sam and the illicit nature of my unplanned voyeurism got my juices flowing. I could feel my pussy tightening and I made a conscious effort to breathe quieter.
I was thinking about the conversation we had hours before, about being fucked until you were sore and eating pussy. Mostly due to the wine, and admittedly my own curiosity, I knelt at the end of Sam's bed and moved my face close to her exposed labia.