It was incredibly cold. The wind stung my face and swept the hair not safely contained within my beanie about, usually slapping it against my face. I readjusted my face mask, and smiled. I liked the cold. It's so much more interesting than a nice, cloudless summer day. The wind moves and shifts, and if I'm lucky, snow melts on my face and coats my clothes. The pain, even, is something I look forward to with the cold, because it feels like pins and needles, not the oppressive blanket of heat the sun gives me.
I was lucky today, and snow fell down all around me in big, thick flakes I could catch on my tongue. They melted on my face and froze on my eyelashes and I couldn't love it any more. However, I was snapped out of my winter induced daydreaming by my friend bumping into me.
"Hey," They said, wrapping their coat around them a bit tighter, "You ready? Or are you just gonna keep staring wistfully up at the clouds?"
I gave them a playful scowl, "I'll have you know that staring wistfully up at the clouds is a very valid way to spend one's time,"
They rolled their eyes and grinned, "Come on, Samantha,"
I snorted, and followed after them. We did have an event to get to, a show. Just a small, local thing, with some small, local artists, which is what we both preferred. Small things in bit cities. It made me feel part of something bigger than myself, like I mattered to others in some small way, but for them, I think it was the anonymity. They liked being unseen amongst crowds, just another body, unnamed and unknown.
Raen. I was, possibly, their only friend, and you could probably tell if you met us both. Raen was closed off, usually with their hands around their chest, hugging themself, and usually looking anywhere but the person they were talking to. They were concise, to the point when talking with strangers. They wanted conversations to end as soon as possible. The thing is, I don't think it was due to any kind of anxiety. I think they just valued being alone a lot more than others. I'd argue a bit too much, but it worked for them, as they said.
But the way they interacted with me was strikingly different. Their hands clasped behind their back, leaning forward, smiling, looking at something on my body, very open posture. I don't want to be self-centered, but it was a genuinely good feeling to know Raen had opened up to me. I felt important; liked.
My daydreaming was again cut short by a quick snap of the fingers from Raen in front of my face.
"Hey. Dork. We're here, you can stop zoning out," They said,
I rolled my eyes again and smirked, following in behind them. The sights and smells hit me very quickly. The smell of alcohol, syrups, sweat, skin mixed with lights of all kinds of colors, and bodies shifting and moving to the music pounding the walls and making my heart shudder in time with it. It was intoxicating, and I knew I wouldn't need drinks tonight.
In comparison to the seering cold outside, this place might as well have been inside of an oven. I could feel myself beginning to detach slowly from the world around me, in preparation.
Raen smiled at me, and I smiled back, accepting their outstretched hand as they rushed to the pit. The music grew louder, but I only registered it for a second as some sort of high-energy dreampop piece, a style I very much enjoyed, before I detached fully from the world around me.
I could feel the heat around me get thicker, like butter melting in a pan, could feel bodies melding against mine, as I shifted and jumped and danced just like everyone else. The smells and the lights and the faces all assaulted my brain in a rush of positive stimulus that threatened to overtake me, and being honest, I'd always wanted it to. To be whisked away as the lights and smells and the music and the faces of everyone there melded into one being, one consciousness, one thinking entity that desired not much more than stimulus and experience.
It was a surprisingly spiritual desire for me to have. Fortunately, I had my anchor there with me. Raen.
If the desire to become one with all the stimulation was powerful for me, it was tenfold for them, so we kept each other sane. Amidst all my senses being overloaded, I could feel their arms reach up, snaking across my chest as Raen pressed their back into me. Their fingers wrapped around the back of my neck as my own arms wrapped like vines diagonally across their chest and abdomen.
They began gyrating their hips, and I followed suit, pressing my body as close to theirs as I could. Their smell was one I recognized above all the others, the smell of winter and blackberries, and the feeling of their smooth, creamy skin excited my nerves like electricity injected straight into my veins. We'd long since stripped off the coats and pants we'd worn to brave the cold outside, and our outfits were both less than adept at covering our bodies.
Still, their crop-top and shorts were practically fused to their body, and covered only as much they needed to to not be naked, and as my fingers danced across their form, it was genuinely difficult to tell where skin ended and clothing began.
