She was my life, my love, my soulmate, so why would I even consider letting her go to my buddy and sleep with him? Yes, it was complicated, but because she had asked me to, that was what it boiled down to, I swear. She wanted to be unfaithful, and I was willing to let her.
We had all been together for three days at the beach in northern Florida when she asked me to leave them alone together. It was hard to hear, maybe the hardest thing I have ever listened to, but it was clear she was serious, and I had always done what she asked, but also perhaps she saw something in me I hadn't seen even in myself. There was clearly something else I did not understand about it at the time, and certainly something I did not grasp about myself as it turned out.
They had been fooling around and acting kind of silly and flirting, and I became more and more convinced they not only wanted to frolic playfully, but that they wanted to fuck. Finally, I asked her if she was hot for Jake and without hesitating she said yes. "Okay, yes, I want him to fuck me," she said assertively. "I admit it, yes. I would like that more than anything. He makes my pussy ache for him," she said. "It is wet around him all of the time. Why don't you just leave us alone for awhile," she said assertively. "After a few times I think it will be better. I think it won't be as much of a thing, but something in me tells me you want it too. Jake wants the same thing. We have talked about it, and we agree about you, too."
"You have talked about fucking?" I said, "the two of you? And you've talked about me?" She nodded her head and said yes. I was stunned. She began giving what amounted to 'mercy fucks,' screwing me as a courtesy, to keep me happy, to appease my needs and convince me she could have it with him and me and things would be okay. But she had also said she thought I wanted it too. That confused me, but there was something more there that bewildered and troubled me.
I began to look into 'women who loved two men' and reading all I could about the phenomenon, the act of polyamorous relationships. I read about men whose wives were unfaithful, and of men who allowed it. Okay, it was possible, but was it realistic? My girlfriend wanted to fuck my best friend and I could either refuse, and lose her, or I could agree and lose her. The term for a man whose wife was unfaithful was cuckold. It was a term that began to have more meaning as I read, although it did seem to apply at first.
Finally, I agreed for them to be able to have sex, with the term cuckold in the back of my mind, and they happily went at it. I guess I should be happy they hadn't gone behind my back, although I couldn't be sure they hadn't. They certainly had enough time when they could be alone together. They could be fucking while I was at work.
The first day I actually knew for sure they were together fucking it nearly killed me, at least I thought it did, but the term cuckold kept coming back to me. If I closed my eyes, all I saw was the two of them, rutting and screwing like rabbits, fucking and sucking wildly as if the world only consisted of the two of them. I imagined his cock sliding into her, filling her with semen and pleasure.
Then a funny thing began to happen. I began to enjoy the idea, to masturbate to images of them screwing, of my girlfriend having sex with my good friend. Maybe I was just compensating, adjusting to the reality, accepting what I couldn't change. I then began to obsess on them having sex. I told her and she laughed and said I was a cuckold, that I got off on having my girlfriend being fucked by another man. I said that wasn't true, but there was something I didn't understand about it as well.
I didn't think it was true, but I couldn't be sure. I was getting aroused by thoughts of her fucking Jake, but was it who I was or me making the best of a situation I could not control?
The one thing I knew to be true was that I was getting turned on by thoughts of him fucking her, which was happening more and more. It was happening less with me and more with him, more sex between them and fewer times with me, and she was becoming more and more demanding and I was responding more and more like a cuckold.
At first I didn't even know what a cuckold was, but the more I read the more it seemed to fit. It got so I could think of nothing else but his cock inside of her and there was no denying it turned me on like crazy. So, crazy is what it is because I had a girlfriend who liked to fuck my buddy and I actually liked it, I could no longer say it didn't turn me on to think about, to picture in my mind and to even dream about when I was asleep.