I was twenty when I moved into my two bedroom-apartment in Downtown Feltville Luxury Apartments. You've never heard of Feltville? Yeah, not surprised. It's a pretty small town in Minnesota, but to me at that age it may as well have been New York.
I grew up in a truly tiny town called Botaka -- less than a thousand people. My parents were decent, honest, hard-working people and I grew up in a loving but very sheltered home. Small-town girl syndrome -- big time. I grew up without a smartphone or a boyfriend until I was eighteen -- but got both at nineteen. Mark (that was the boyfriend, not the phone) was sweet enough, at least at first. I lost my virginity to him and after that Mark and I had sex a few times more, but not often. If you think that sounds boring it's because it was. He would kiss me, rub my tits, finger me for about twenty seconds then he would lay me down on my back, put himself inside me and go at it for maybe thirty seconds; forty on a good day, kiss me again and climb off. So pretty quickly I became one of those 'I have a headache' girls and after only a few months together we broke up.
After we broke up I felt more embarrassed than heartbroken. I hadn't really loved Mark if I was being honest with myself we just kinda... defaulted to each other? And that was the problem. Maybe I'd never had a proper rebellious teenager phase, I thought. I'd always been a good girl, never really did much of anything bad, never snuck out to go to parties (okay fine, once but Laura Patterson's parents were out of town and they had a freaking pool), I never tried to get a boyfriend until I turned eighteen, never argued with my parents, never did this, never did that etc.
So at twenty, recently dumped and coming to the realization that I was on the whole pretty damn boring, I decided I needed to get the heck out of Botaka.
My parents argued with me a little, but ultimately supported me moving out of town -- it's not like I was going halfway across the country, I'm still only an hour's drive from home.
I decided on Feltville. I found a place to rent online, applied to a few jobs and eventually got a job working in a restaurant, packed my things and left.
Was it scary? Hell yeah, at first. But it made me feel more alive than ever, braver than ever. Like a new woman, a worldly woman. Yes I know you've never heard of Feltville and you probably won't find in on a map unless you know where it is already, I know! But like I said -- Feltville could have been a vibrant metropolis for all I had to compare with. And it wasn't long before 'the big city' got its hooks into me and I started on a journey of discovery that would change me forever.
Let me start by telling you about Jamie.
Jamie lives in the apartment next door to mine and became my first friend here in Feltville. In fact I met her for the first time the afternoon I moved in -- just a few hours after my father drove off with the car. I'd gone out to shop for groceries just have something in the fridge and was getting my keys out when the door next to mine opened and a tall, thin, beautiful woman stepped out, looked at me and said:
"Hi, you must be the new neighbor." I smiled politely and introduced myself.
"Yeah, I'm Bethany, but you can call me Beth."
"Jamie!" she shook my hand and asked where I was from. I told her the name Botaka and watched her eyes glaze over and had to explain where it was.
"Oh, country girl, huh?"
"Guess so." I said, feeling a little put-upon. Jamie must have noticed because she instantly seemed sorry and offered to show me about the town. I was pretty tired but said yes anyway. I wanted to be polite, and I wanted to make friends.
Jamie took me out for a walk and showed me main street, some closed cafés she liked and then brought me to a bar. I'd never been to a proper bar before (I'd had alcohol before, to be clear -- I wasn't a complete dork) and today I would find Allyson's Bar & Eatery quaint but then I didn't -- it was downright glamorous. Jamie seemed to know a handful of people there and maybe I should have noticed how some of the guys who said hi to her looked at her but it slid past me at the time. She bought me a drink and we sat down at a table together; it wasn't very busy on a random Thursday.
"So, Botaka. What's it like?" Jamie asked me and I had to think about it for a while.
"Small." I finally said. "Small and boring." Jamie grinned -- I'd learn to recognize that grin later and what it meant.
"Not enough action for you?"
"No action at all." I laughed, as if I had any idea what kind of 'action' I was after.
"Your family still there?"
"Mhm. Mom, dad and my brothers."
"Oh brothers, how many?" Jamie sipped her drink.
"Six." She very nearly spat her drink in my face.
"SIX?!" she exclaimed after wiping her face. "Fuck me!" I laughed back, the drink starting to buzz my head a bit.
"Mhm. There were nine of us in total, in a house that could comfortably house four people."
"Good god!" Jamie laughed again, and I think that was when I realized I liked her. She asked me more about life in Botaka and I asked about hers. She was an only child, born in Canada, moved to the US when she was a teenager. She came to Minnesota for a business degree, got it and liked the place (it was far enough away from her parents) so she stuck around after university. We spent a good two hours chatting, laughing, sharing stories (she had a lot more good stories than I did) before we headed home because the drink hit me pretty hard -- it was moving day and I was exhausted. Before we left Jamie asked to exchange numbers and told me if I needed anything she was usually pretty quick to reply to texts. She hugged me goodnight in the hallway and cheerily said 'See you around, neighbor'. I went to bed feeling happy -- I'd made a friend on my first day in town! She was fun, cheery and seemed super-nice! She was beautiful, too. She looked the way I often wish I looked: Tall and thin, with gorgeous green eyes and curly, beautiful dark hair. She had curves where it counted, but no more. Not like me.
My mother was broad around the hips and so are all my brothers, and me. I'm barely 5' 5 and if you're being nice you can call me 'curvy'. I can fill out a bra, though, and people often complement me for my blond hair, which I take good care of and usually wear down to my shoulders. Because pants never fit me very well I prefer wearing skirts or dresses with leggings in winter and nothing in summer. I guess I didn't hate the way I looked, but Jamie was how I wanted to look, at least back then. She dared to wear jeans that showed off her butt, for example, something I never did then. If I wore trousers I picked big sizes and regular fit, to hide, never show off. And Jamie dressed well, too. I don't know if I noticed that at the time, but she usually wore brand clothes and often new ones. I found out a little later that she worked at a supermarket and I probably should have put two and two together and asked myself how she could afford clothes like that. But I didn't. Not then.
