'On a scale of jello to cookies, how stoned do I look?' he asks. I start to laugh, it's not even funny. His straight face, in this underwater themed cafe, I've got the giggles. I'm really trying hard to stop. I take a shaky breath, suppressing the laughter. A sip of Heineken gives me something to focus on. My other friend says, 'I think you mean baked,' while lifting up menus on the table with a fork.
'What have you lost?' he says to her.
'My fork.' she answers.
He starts helping her look, and I swear I am trying to tell her, 'you are holding it', but I'm gone. I can't breathe, I am laughing so hard. They both stop their searching to give me a 'what's so funny look', and oh my god, tears are now running down my face.
'I have to get out of here,' I manage to wheeze, as I push past her in the booth, I leave them both to their fork hunt.
The grey cobblestones look black in the glow of the lamp light, as I emerge, the cold of the autumn evening giving me the sobering I need. I weave through the crowds, mostly tourists in this part of town. The Amstel River shivers a neon trail through the old town. It's late but the businesses are still open. Mostly selling sex or weed, sometimes brightly painted wooden clogs or bunches of tulips.
My heels echo off the uneven pavement, as the sidewalk turns and runs around a corner, I follow it down a narrow laneway. I come upon a row of low set historic buildings drenched in a red glow. I stand and observe within the dozen or so windows laid out in front of me, a single silhouette in each, dressed only in underwear. I consider the invitation of a woman, around my age, perched on a stool, she crooks a finger, offering herself to me. My lips hint a reluctant smile, my head a soft shake, she moves her attention to a group of young men, noisy as they round the corner. When their drunken focus turns to me, I decide to continue my wanderings. I wrap my leather jacket around my body, folding my arms under my breasts to brave against the cold.
The smell of pot hangs in the air, mixed with the scent of late night street food. Pushing my way against the tide of tourists milling towards the window girls, a vendor shoves off the ticket booth he is leaning against and steps into my path. Handing me a flyer he says, 'You should come inside.'
The banner on the bill in my hand advertises 'live sex show' underneath which the alluring eyes of a naked woman peer up at me. The vendor catches the slight flare of my nose, as I run my eyes over the image.
'Usually there is a line. Tonight I can take you straight in.'
I look up at him, he grins, dropping his voice he leans closer, 'Trust me, you will enjoy it.'
A shiver runs down my spine, he drops his hand to my lower back, guiding me to the ticket seller.