Everybody's Callgirl

A reporter for the alternative paper "Arts Weekly" is interviewing the amateur actress who's just completed an evening performance of the experimental play staged at a small community theater.

Reporter: What a great performance! Best play ever! Can you summarise it for our readers, and tell us a bit about your role?

Actress: Of course. It's a comedy with the title "Everybody's Callgirl", and it will continue for the next three weekends. We're a small group of amateur players, experimenting with new ideas in theater. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you'll tell all your readers to come see it. The story is about a regular woman who's a wife and mom, holding down an office job and active in her small town community. By day she does all these things, but at night she's busy entertaining men as a callgirl. The humour comes from some of the situations she finds herself in as she tries to live both lives, sometimes getting the two mixed up. The cast is the callgirl, played by me, and twelve men, the callgirl's clients, or 'Johns'. As anyone would guess, most of the sets are hotel rooms. And because it's comedy, we do lots of gags to keep things moving, since it's really just a series of skits with no real plot.

Reporter: Sounds tame enough, but what I saw on stage was lots of nudity and sex. Mostly you having sex with all the men. Maybe I need to ask you to be more explicit in describing the play. By the way, our paper is alternative press, so it's OK to use any words you want. Please go on...

Actress: Well, OK then. We fuck. A lot. I play a callgirl, and callgirls have sex with their clients, so that's what I do on stage. You see me naked. And you see some of the men naked, but most will have at least their penises out when they need to stick it in me.

Reporter: Yes, that's what I saw, you and lots of penises. And the sex looked real to me. In some of the scenes I could see the men's cocks actually entering you, so I don't think it was simulated. I mean, they were, like, sliding in and out of you.

Actress: Yep, that was me they were sliding in and out of. Remember, my character is a callgirl, so I act out what a callgirl does. A working callgirl might have one, possibly two, clients each evening, sometimes in a hotel room, sometimes hired for a stag party. That's what the different scenes are about. We have to squeeze several evenings of the callgirl's life into two hours of onstage time, so if she'd be fucking say a dozen men over a couple of weeks' time, and that's how many men my character, which of course is me, is with in just two hours. That should explain why you saw me fucking so many men in such a short time. The cast is just me and the twelve men. Every one of them fucks me, eats me out, plays with my tits, gets a blow job, or does some combination. Sometimes together with one or more of the other men trading off. But I'm there for all of it.

Reporter: Yes, and it was beautiful. I wanted to be you up there, having such wonderful sex with so many men. Please describe the theater itself, so our readers know that no matter where they sit they'll get a good view.

Actress: Of course! As this is community theater, we have only a small rented space. A small stage, surrounded on three sides with about thirty seats total, so everyone sees and hears nearly everything, depending on which side you're seated on. When I'm fucking, which is most of the time, I'm naked, or at least bottomless, sometimes I just hike up my skirt, and where you sit will determine whether you get a side view of me or you're looking straight up between my legs. The play really isn't about nudity, and I'm not a nudist, but when the script calls for me to be fucking, certain parts of me have to be exposed. Or if the script calls for someone to kiss my nipples or lick my clit, then those parts of me will be on display, even if only briefly.

Reporter: In big cities like London and New York, the play was done with simulated sex, but here it's real. What made you decide to do real sex?

Actress: Yes, I saw the Birmingham production, and in that big theater even the closest seats were at least thirty feet away. But here, the furthest seat is less than twelve feet away, so if we simulated anything it would be quite obvious. Especially the orgasms. In such a small intimate theater the audience would know, especially the women. That's one reason. The other reason is that during rehearsals we tried simulating, but just couldn't get into it. If I had to fake a couple dozen orgasms in two hours, I'd be really frustrated. I'd rather end each performance exhausted than frustrated. And we can't really expect the men to hold back once they're inside me! So, the first reason was for realism while the second reason is for the cast. We feel we can deliver a better, more honest, performance by being real. Especially when the entire audience is close enough to see, hear, and even smell everything.

Reporter: That's true. Even from my back-row seat I could see every detail of your body, I could hear the different men's cocks squishing in and out of you, and I could smell the scent of your arousal. Sweet, by the way.

Actress: Well thank you! I guess you could call this a multi-media experience! Sight, sound, smell, and, if you count when I run through the audience, you get touch and maybe even taste, all five senses! Maybe later you'll ask me about those last two.

Reporter: I will! But now, I'd like to know you got the role, and how was the rest of the cast chosen?

Actress: When I answered the cast call, I had to deal with a lot of personal questions about nudity and sex, which at first was supposed to be simulated. Most of the other actresses trying out were too young for the role, since the callgirl is supposed to be, among other things, a mom. Which I am. You've heard about actresses having to fuck the director to get the role, well for this play I didn't have to fuck the director, but I did have to do simulated sex with each of the men trying out for the roles of the clients. I guess I was just better at it than the other women, so I got the role. Once the callgirl role was given to me, I helped with selecting the rest of the cast, all men. As I said earlier, eventually we decided to do actual sex rather than simulated. Since I'd actually be letting them fuck me, I mean like, actually put their penises inside me, I had the final say on each applicant. In fact, that was part of the selection process. If I thought a particular fellow might make the cut, he and I would try his penis inside me in the different positions called for in the script, watched by as many volunteer observers as we could round up, to see if the candidate could handle sex in front of an audience. Not just fucking, the ones who couldn't, or wouldn't, eat me or put their penis in my mouth got eliminated. We eventually settled on twenty men to join the cast out of perhaps a hundred who tried out, giving us a pool from which the director picks twelve for each performance. So, sometimes I don't know until we're actually on stage who's going to be having sex with me. By the way, as you know, your editor qualified and was in the cast tonight. I wonder if his wife knows how talented he is with his tongue?

Reporter: Lucky wife! I see from the playbill that one of the men cast as a client has the same last name as yours. Is he a relative?

Actress: Oh, yes; that's my husband! When I first got the callgirl role, he got curious about what I'd be doing on stage. So I invited him to a tryout session for the male roles, to see for himself. By then we were doing actual sex, so he got to see me with the thirty or so men who were trying out that day, one after the other. He got really excited and wanted to be a part of it. So he went through the tryout process, just like everyone else. He didn't get a free pass just for being married to me. After the other thirty he had to fuck me right there in front of an assortment of stage crew, delivery boys, caterers, the other applicants, and anyone else who happened to be not too busy to watch. He made the cut, so now some nights he plays one of my clients. On the other nights, he'll be in the audience. I especially like that, because while the other cast members slide their penises into me I lock eyes with my husband to let him feel he's a part of it.

...The only scene he won't do is the one where I'm sandwiched between two clients, one taking me vaginally and the other anally. He's afraid he might bump up against the other guy's cock inside me! Or the scene where I'm shared between five rich foreign business men, he won't do that one. Oh, and there's that beach scene that's supposed to be a college stag party where one line of guys waits in turn to fuck me from behind while a group in front lines up for me to suck their cocks, with me bent over doggie-style next to a barbeque pit where another piece of meat is being roasted! Of course, I do them all. My husband won't do that scene, because the other actors are all college boys. So that's OK with me. I'm doing the scene anyway, so he can just watch from offstage. If he changes his mind, he's welcome to get in line.

...Oh, and he gets the most worked up when he sees other men licking and sucking my nipples.

...But he's always up for seeing me cum onstage, especially if our eyes are locked on each other!

Reporter: I wonder how my boyfriend would react if I had your role? Anyway, what special preparations did you need for taking this role?

Actress: Well, first of all, I needed to prepare myself psychologically to act out what's required for this role. I had to overcome shame, embarrassment, humiliation, and how to deal with relatives and co-workers. After all, I'm only human. I'm still embarrassed to be seen nude, but that's what the role calls for so I do it. As for the sex, I can deal with it as long as I'm in control, especially when I cum.

...After taking care of myself, I needed to take care of my husband's feelings. This role is the only time I've ever had sex outside of our marriage, and now all of a sudden I needed to have sex with nearly a hundred in order to choose the twenty men now in the cast. Once he saw me in the men's tryouts, and realised I was doing what the role called for, and that he could become a part of it, he was fine. Sometimes I kid him that he could be the only male in a play with a dozen women, but he reminded me that although I can cum a dozen times in one evening, and usually do, he's only good for two or three at most. So we laugh and move on. Except that he's still uneasy with other men playing with my tits.

...So much for psychology and emotions. Physically, I had to have the lower part of my pubic hair removed, you know, just the hair around my lips and slit. The producers wanted me completely shaven, but I wanted to keep my womanly bush. The compromise now is that Makeup keeps me hairless and smooth all the way back to my anus, and leaves me with a trimmed bush above my slit. The only thing Makeup has to do with my bush is to keep it clear of the semen that keeps drying in it, and to fluff it out so it doesn't look matted. As long my lips and all the pink between them is visible, the producers are happy. They call that 'visual accessibility'. My lady bits are 'visually accessible' to the audience.

Reporter: As I saw! Besides the smooth lips, what preparations do you need between scenes?

Actress: After most scenes, Mauricio the Makeup Guy needs to wipe out the sperm accumulating inside me. That's so that when I open my legs for the client in the next scene I appear fresh, since it takes place supposedly a day or two later. Except for the scene where a regular client with a 'filled-pussy' fetish wants the callgirl to be that way when he arrives. So for that scene, we just leave it in. By that time I'm a walking sperm bank, so I just lie back, spread my legs, and for a short while I give the audience a good view of the cum flowing out of me before my client puts his penis in. I ordinarily don't hold my legs open for very long, but this scene depends on a cum-filled pussy, so that's what we show.

Reporter: But what about the masturbation scene? You hold yourself open for a long while there, except that I for one wished it was even longer.

Actress: Sounds like you liked that scene! As for being longer, I can control that only to a certain extent, but when I cum, I cum, then it's over. But, about that scene: as you may know, callgirls don't really get much out of the sex they sell. It's cash-and-carry. So, in this play even though the sex is real I'm supposed to be detached about it. As for orgasms, I just let nature take its course. If I feel one coming, I just roll with it. Usually it's real. Especially if I know my husband is watching.

...In the scene you're asking about, there's this one customer who pays just to watch the callgirl masturbate. I play this by stretching out, facing the audience, with my skirt hiked up over my waist. I'm naked below, but my nakedness is blocked from the audience by my customer. The audience sees my face, and knows what I'm doing with my hands, and can clearly see that I'm faking it. This one I deliberately fake, and make facial gestures to the audience to let them know it. Afterward, the customer is satisfied that it was real, gets up and leaves through the hotel room door. Now the idea is to show that even callgirls, who sometimes have to fake pleasure, need real pleasure of their own. So as soon as the customer is gone, she's alone on the stage. She, really me, it's me up there, I'm alone on the stage, skirt up around my waist, legs open, the audience knows the paid orgasm was fake, can see from the lack of wetness that it was fake. I have to hold myself open long enough for them to see that I'm not wet, then proceed to rub myself into a real orgasm, to make the point that the callgirl is a real person with real feelings and real needs that aren't satisfied by commercial sex. I use one hand to stroke my clit, the same way I do it privately anyway, and use the other hand to block a prolonged view of what the audience should see only momentarily. Every minute or so I briefly take my blocking hand away just long enough to let the audience see the wetness that wasn't there before. Some performances that takes a little longer, to make sure I'm wet enough for the audience to see the difference, that the juice they see is new. Since this is the last scene, I take as long as necessary. As soon as I can feel a nice little puddle for the audience to see on the sheet underneath me, I cover my pussy from view again and finish myself off with the other hand. My very real climax is the cue for the stage hands to lower the curtain. We added this scene after the first couple of performances, so I wouldn't have to keep going home frustrated.

Reporter: Whew!! That's hot! Please tell our readers about your favorite scene, unless it was that one. It certainly was my favorite, by the way.

Actress: Mine would be the one with the two young guys, just turned eighteen, with just enough money to share me. As you saw, they arrive, I strip off, they just stand there and stare at my body, afraid to touch. I sympathise with them, and so, with my legs open to them but away from the audience, I give them a lesson in intimate female anatomy. They both come in their pants. I give them their money back and they leave. They show up several scenes later, which of course would be a couple of weeks. This time they're not so bashful, and I get them first to play with my tits then to suck my nipples, then to take turns eating me out and fucking me. Again, I return their money and tell them to go find girlfriends. I love this scene because in reality both their ages added together sums up to exactly my age. I get to play my mature worldliness off against their youth and newness.

Reporter: There were a lot of good laughs tonight. Please tell us about some of the scenes that make this play a comedy.

Actress: Well, without giving away any of the jokes, maybe I'll just briefly describe how some of the scenes are set up. You noticed tonight that the callgirl spends a lot of time on the phone, making appointments with her Johns, or making an appointment to see her kid's teacher, or for a work meeting. But some of these schedules get mixed up. She shows up dressed for sex, only to discover it's a business meeting or a church function. She's on the phone with her pastor or her hairdresser while entertaining a John. She or the John, or both, might fall off the bed, the bed might break, room service might walk in on them, a person one of them knows might walk in. A John turns out to be an acquaintance or he's a former boyfriend. Or the businessman from out-of-town she had signed a contract with earlier that day in her office. Then there's the scene where she mistakenly schedules two Johns for the same time, so has to put them in adjoining rooms and shuttles between the two. And so on, lots of gags, lots of laughs, at least we hope so!

Reporter: Has anything embarrassing ever happened while you were on stage?

Actress: Yes, yes, yes! So embarrassing even to tell you about it, but here goes: As you know, this play is about comic sex, and not about nudity. I'm naked only when it makes sense, and even then it might be that you see my open pussy for just a few seconds before one of the male actors blocks the view by entering me. Well, there was this one time, during an early performance, and I'll tell it to you as I suffered through it at the time.

...As the curtain rises, I'm naked, on my knees and elbows, waiting to be penetrated from behind. The spotlight is on my bottom, which is tilted upwards and toward most of the audience. I'm at my most vulnerable, and certainly most revealing, position.

That view is supposed to last for only a second or two, like you saw tonight, because the male actor is supposed to come and 'block' me right away, before the audience realises that they have a view right up between my butt cheeks and legs and into my most intimate parts. Well, I'm waiting, butt in the air, holding my vagina open from underneath, waiting. And waiting. I can look back between my legs and see dozens of pairs of eyes trained on my anus. I felt very vulnerable. Where is the other actor who's supposed to block me with his body? I'm still waiting. They can see right up inside my birth canal! I'm past caring that they must be seeing the undersides of my dangling breasts, or that I might fart, or that they can see that one fold of my inner lips hangs a bit lower than the other, or that my anus is on full display, making me anxious that Mauricio had tidied me up sufficiently back there. Still waiting, where is that fellow? Should I break character and just cover up? Of course not. I must wait. I feel some sperm from the previous scene leaking from me, so obviously some in the audience must be seeing it. I feel the juices of my own arousal trickling down my leg, I guess they can see that too, certainly smell it just like I can. I glance back under again, and now I see what I've been feeling internally: my clitoris has lengthened and it's pointing out, obviously in plain sight of everyone in the center section. Knowing that several co-workers are attending tonight, I am so embarrassed. This has lasted long enough. Finally, after an eternity, the other actor appears and inserts his penis, mercifully blocking me but far too late to save my dignity.

...I found out later that the cast had discovered that this was my birthday and wanted to play a special prank on me. Special indeed!

Reporter: How humiliating! But I'd still want to be you. But besides that, has anything funny ever happened, that wasn't in the script?

Actress: Oh, yes! Once in an early rehearsal as my client was giving me oral sex I jumped up screaming and ran offstage to see why my clitoris was suddenly stinging. Turns out that the other actor had been sucking on a peppermint candy while his tongue was pushing back my clitoral hood! We never allowed him, or anyone else, to use mints again! But later, someone remarked that they'd seen something like this in some silly Canadian movie, so we stole the idea for our play. So as you saw tonight, I jump up screaming, notice a tin of mints on the bedstand and throw it at my client, then chase him off the stage and into the audience, me still naked except for a bra. As part of the gimmick, the house lights come up so the house manager can see what the disturbance is. The director comes out onto the stage and apologises for this 'off-script' interruption, I make my way back through the audience to haul my bare ass back up onto the stage and resume the show. Meanwhile the other actor disappears unseen out a back door.