Part I
Sal was appalled. Her new next-door neighbour was walking around his garden with absolutely nothing on. How could he do such a thing? How dare he!
It was not that he was being exhibitionist, deliberately. No doubt he thought himself in a private place and not overlooked, but Sal's house was deceptive. Wisteria hid the end of a balcony; a balcony from which, if she parted the vine a little, she could see over the neighbouring garden. She had been nosy, there was no other word for it, wanting to see what her new neighbour was up to and she had most certainly found that out! She stared and stared. He was completely naked, not a stitch on, and his 'tackle' swung as he walked catching her eye each time it moved. It did not stay still at all but was constantly on the move, swinging from one side to the other as he walked. Most disconcerting. Sal went to get her binoculars for a closer look.
Powerful bird watching binoculars gave a close-up view in sharp focus and clarity. More powerful than she had really wanted but she could not find her less powerful older pair; the present pair were the ones Sal had bought to examine the many birds that visited her garden, or those she saw when out on her walks or visits to bird reserves. The pair were now employed not in ornithological examination but rather in the detailed examination of homo sapiens and seemingly intent on establishing its sex. The penis loomed large in the optics and Sal carefully followed its movement as her neighbour walked up his garden. It, his generative organs, certainly did not stay still. She could discern every bump, every vein, even a mole half way down its shaft. When the man stopped Sal was able to examine the business end in detail, noting the smooth rounded end peeping out of its little wrinkled mobile covering of skin and its little orifice so looking like a mouth with lips. It seemed to be smiling! Sal was not quite sure why she was examining the man's genitalia in such detail. Perhaps because she could - it was a bit like watching a bird bobbing about on the lawn.
A big male hand came down and obscured much of her view but then unexpectedly pulled back the foreskin, revealing to her shocked gaze yet more intimate detail of the item, not least how helmet like the glans penis was and how smooth the skin appeared. Even before Sal could react by turning away, feeling she had seen far, far too much already and putting the binoculars down, she found herself watching a stream of urine rushing out of the little mouth and twinkling in the sunshine.
Sal was, again, appalled. Not only was her new neighbour naked in his garden right where she could see him, but he was freely urinating in her sight in his own garden in his own flowerbed. She put the binoculars down and walked away to make herself a steadying cup of tea. She was very angry as well as feeling flushed and hot. The feeling of embarrassment seemed to have hit her hard. Her hand was even shaking a little as she filled the kettle. It was one thing to be naked in your own home, in the bathroom or bedroom but in the garden! It was something she had never thought of doing herself. Why would you, why would she, why did he? And as for urinating - why could he not go inside to the proper place?
Despite her upset, Sal's curiosity soon got the better of her and she went back to her vantage point with tea and the binoculars. The new neighbour had not gone. He was lying on a sun lounger reading a magazine, his face and part of his upper body obscured but not, Sal was still shocked to see, his lower body; indeed, drawn up a little and spread as his legs were Sal had the most perfect view of his genitalia she could have wished for - if she had wanted to see such a thing in the first place: which she did not! The whole assembly was hanging down between his open legs - just hanging. Sal frowned and bit her lower lip. He was making no attempt to cover up. Surely, he would have thought there was a possibility of being seen however much it, perhaps, looked like her house was blind towards his garden.
If he really wanted to walk naked in his garden why had he not simply done just that and got it over with: not, now, lie in such an exposed way. Sal focused her binoculars and despite her reservations focused in on his maleness, noting the penis was rolled over to the left, the foreskin had fully covered the head and how remarkably hairy was his scrotum. The magnification and quality of the lenses in the binoculars meant she could easily make out the egg shape of the testes within their sack as the skin literally folded over them. The detail was remarkable. Sal went to get her camera. She would have proof. Proof she could confront him with, if necessary.
The few clicks of the camera's shutter caught the man perfectly within the garden setting lying upon his lounger, but, keen photographer as she was, she unscrewed the lens and put on her bird photography lens, a lens with a prodigious zoom to it, attached the tripod to ensure steadiness and focused in. Filling the whole viewfinder was the man's penis, hanging to the left. It was rather shocking to see it so up close and personal and in, if anything, more detail than the binoculars. Sal pressed the shutter and sat back to look at the image in the camera's big TFT screen. It was a lovely crisp image. Lovely in terms of quality that is. Had it been a Reed Bunting or a Bee Catcher she would have been delighted. This was not, though, an image to show at an ornithological photographer's club meeting - the 'male appendage at rest' indeed!
Sal got a shock when stooped to the camera and focused in again. The penis could no longer be described as 'at rest'; it had grown and moved - and was still moving. Sal watched with eyes wide as the wrinkled foreskin rolled back before her very eyes, unthinking she pressed the shutter, and continued to watch as the ruddy purple head, becoming shinier by the second, rose into the air. She pressed the shutter again. It was like a Corn Crake, a Landrail, poking its head out of its nest - suddenly visible above it - to be caught with a click of the shutter. Of all the... her next-door neighbour was having an erection of his penis in full sight of her. This was simply beyond the limit of what she was prepared to accept.