I was just sitting in Costa having a coffee when I recognised Steve coming in through the door. I had known Steve for ages but hadn't seen him for a year or so and when he recognised me he came over. We chatted about all the usual nonsense and then he just came straight out and asked me.
"Say, did you ever actually do anything about that whacky idea of yours you talked about last time?" I had forgotten the conversation and that I had even mentioned the idea to anyone.
"Well, actually I did."
"And..." Steve was pumping me for information. I had floated the idea of becoming a masseur. The idea was simple enough. Massage parlours for blokes were springing up everywhere and my idea was to become a masseur for 'Ladies'.
"I started the business over a year ago," I replied, "after taking some training and so on. I lost a bit of weight and let my hair grow for the latter day hippy look."
"So...how's it going? Are you getting lots of frustrated women you lucky old bugger?"
"You have to remember it's all about their pleasure, not mine. I get all shapes and sizes and a much bigger age range than you'd expect. Some just want a massage, some a more personal service."
"But you get your fair share of lookers, I'll bet."
"It's not just that simple." I replied, knowing that Steve would be after the full details and not let up. He was like a terrier with a rat and I knew that, in the end, I was going to have to spill the beans, so I just gave in gracefully.
"You'd never believe some of it if I told you!"
"Try me."
"The first was the most awkward. I had taken a course so that I could give a really professional massage and thought I'd just work the rest out as I went along.
"My first client was very nervous. She had picked up from my advert that the massage service was not the whole story and she was definitely looking for something extra..."
"What advert is that then? How do you word it?"
"You know the sort of thing, 'Ladies, Tired? Stressed? Need relaxation. Sensual massage etc etc' The trouble is I have to be bloody careful, I could get done for any number of sexual offences so I decided from day one exactly how far I was prepared to go and under what circumstances.
"Anyway she arrived. A not unattractive forty something, quite short, dark brown hair, carrying a little extra weight, big boobs and the look of a frightened deer. I welcomed her to my studio, which is the converted second bedroom in my flat and has the advantage of an ensuite shower. I really have gone to town on it. Redecorated, soft lights, a stereo system and of course a big massage table. I set the atmosphere with candles and mirrors, you know how much the ladies like that sort of thing.
"As I say, she came over all nervous, poor thing, and I tried to put her at her ease. I could tell something was up because there was a paler circle on her ring finger. Either she had had a bust up with hubby or she didn't want me to know she was married, so the ring was off.
"I started to chat to her as we went into the studio and showed her the ensuite, offered her a shower if she wanted one, pointed out the stack of towels. I told her to press the bell at the side of the table when she was ready, face down on the table, and left the room.
"She turned down the shower but asked what clothing she should leave on. I tried to reassure her by saying as little as she was comfortable with but I had obviously misjudged her, when I came back she was swathed in towels from head to toe. She looked like a fucking mummy!
"I thought, 'This is going to be a challenge,' anyway I persuaded her to part with the top towel and was surprised to see she had kept her bra on. I guessed that if she had kept her bra on she was unlikely to have parted company with her knickers and I was right. What the fuck did she want all those towels for? She shows more flesh on the beach than she did for a massage.
"I started on the shoulders and back with all the usual stuff and she did start to relax a bit. I casually mentioned that she might like to unhook her bra while she was face down so I could really get to work and she did agree.
"So all is going swimmingly and I avoid all the areas covered by her panties incase she exploded with fright, and asked her to turn over. Well you'd have thought I'd asked her to run through the town like Lady Godiva. Hey ho so she fastens her bra and rolls over.
"She's a good looking lass to be sure but still seriously nervous. I work on her front, again avoiding any clothed bits and I know she's never going to screw up the courage to ask for anything more, so I ask her casually if she's relaxed, de-stressed and if there is any area she particularly wants me to concentrate on.
"I know she's desperate for some more personal attention, the little damp line in the crotch of her panties says it all, but she makes some excuse and basically that's the end of that. Poor woman."
"They can't all have been that innocent," said Steve with an expectant look in his eye.
"For sure not. I have had some bizarre requests. There was this woman once who was much more confident. The usual story, about fifty, but in good shape, obviously takes really good care of herself, you know gym and so on. Anyway she had stripped off, laid down on the table face down, as usual, but completely starkers, no towel or anything. I came back into the room to the view of a magnificent pair of well toned buttocks. Threw me a bit I have to say.
"I did her back as usual and asked her to turn over. Well, when she did I was a bit taken aback. She didn't grab a towel or try to cover herself in any way, she just rolled over and didn't have a pube to her name, not that that's unusual these days, but she had rings through her labia, three on each side!
"It's not the sort of thing you can ignore, there's this bare pussy with gold rings all over it and before I could gather my thoughts my mouth had said, 'Nice!'"
"'Glad you think so.' Says she, 'we'll come to that later but massage my front first.'
"I did what I was told but, try as I might, I couldn't take my eyes off those six gold rings. It must have hurt like fuck having them done, and how do you say to a piercer that you want your pussy lips done? And why do you want it done in the first place? I found out as I finished the massage."
"If you want to bolster your reputation with my friends, you will play with those rings and talk dirty while you do it, and I mean really dirty; the filthier the better. That's what really gets me off."
