Susan first appeared in 'Entertaining at Home'. Other characters mentioned joined the story in subsequent episodes of 'Entertaining at Large'. If you like the look of this chapter it might be worth checking them out to discover people's back stories and the details of some of the events referred to. Comments, suggestions and support welcomed as always and thanks to those of you who already have.
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Scarlett and I smiled at each other as we stood at the door of suite seven-oh-two at the Royal Hotel and prepared to knock. It was the night of Trevor's stag do and we were the designated strippers; the thing was the groom had expressly forbidden his mates to hire dancers - designated or otherwise - and we were going to have to improvise. Scarlett had been fretting about it all day.
'Let's do this then.'
I rapped on the door and pulled my trench coat more tightly to my chest. I wanted to make sure that nothing showed underneath. I took a deep breath. It was show time.
Matt, the best man who had got us into this mess in the first place, grinned sheepishly as he pulled open the door. He had a look of relief on his face when he saw us. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. I was tottering on my highest stilettos. I noted with satisfaction that the kiss left a perfect lipstick bow. I bought the cheapest stick in Superdrug from a teenager who was surprised I insisted on her assurance that it would definitely leave marks.
'Ooh, Helen's got a stripper. Great. Come on big boy lets get this party started.'
I pushed him back into the room and followed him through almost shouting my instructions. I was waving a Polish vodka bottle I had brought from home. It was filled with water, but they weren't to know that. I wanted to give the impression of a tipsy party girl who was up for anything. By the looks on the faces of the eight or nine men in the room I was succeeding.
'Hello boys. My god she's not gone and hired a stripper for each of us has she? Goody, goody. Where are the girls? Still getting changed?'
I glanced towards the bedroom. I could see the king sized bed was covered in hold-alls and there were men's clothes strewn around the floor. It was the third time I'd been inside the suite in the last week. I'd never seen it in such a mess.
The confusion in the bedroom was matched in the suite's large sitting room. There were beer cans on every available surface. The guys, all of whom knew we were coming, put on a great show of being confused and embarrassed. One of them leapt to grab the TV remote and pause the movie. It was 'Gang Bang Gumbo VI', the one where a stripper gets a work out at a bachelor party. My idea. By the look on the girl's face which filled the frozen screen they were well past the blow job stage and into the main event.
The rest of them started moving cans and generally making the mess in the room worse. One boy who was coming out of the shower with a towel around his waist sort of squealed and dodged back in immediately. Everyone was looking at me.
'What are you doing here? Where's Helen? It's her hen night. You've made some kind of mistake.'
I spoke confidently and glared at them. Perhaps I was too convincing. Several of them blushed, a few stammered and all of them ended up looking at Matt: the best man. He obviously hadn't filled them in in the details, but he took his cue perfectly.
'I'm sorry, but I think it's you who are wrong. I booked the suite weeks ago for Trev's stag night. I've got the paperwork somewhere.'
He nodded towards a plump guy slumped in one of the armchairs. Trevor tried to shrink into the upholstery as I looked him up and down. Judging by the cans around his feet he was already half cut. I smiled sweetly with just a hint of acid hoping to convey the impression of someone who could not possibly make a mistake.
'No that's alright. I'll just phone Helen and find out what time she's getting here.'
I reached into my bag and pulled out my mobile. I looked around the room and strode to the emptiest looking corner on the pretext of needing some privacy. All eyes followed me as I carefully placed my bottle on a window cill. I pretended to dial and tapped my foot impatiently as if waiting for my fictional friend to pick up.
I took the opportunity to check out our audience as I waited. They were all nice looking guys in their mid-twenties. Matt, who I knew best, was smiling at me from the opposite corner. He had one of those voices that could talk a girl out of her knickers in ten minutes flat. I melted almost every time we spoke on the phone. And that was at least four times in the past week. His problem was that he was nervous as a kitten around women otherwise he'd be a right bastard. I smiled back at him and gave him a sly wink.
'Helen. Hi. It's Suzette. Where are you?'
I waited as if waiting for an answer and watched as one of the boys cautiously approached Scarlett and offered her a beer. They were all pretending to be occupied with something but I knew they were all listening to me.
'What. What are you doing there? It's your hen night. We're in the suite and it's filled with cute looking guys. Why are you at the spa?'
They all heard me call them cute. There was a general puffing out of chests, straightening of chinos and adjusting of polo shirt collars. It was the first time I had noticed they were all wearing similar clothes. I knew several of them worked with Matt at the tax office. I speculated on whether these were standard issue leisure outfits.
'Oh shit.'
There was a perceptible leaning closer among my audience.
'Oh effing aitch, pardon my French.'
I put a hand to my forehead.
'No we can't get a taxi over there.'
I cupped the mouthpiece with my hand but still spoke clearly enough to make sure the lads all caught every word.
'We're both dressed like a couple of hookers. We'd get thrown out as soon as we took off our coats. And you know what Scarlett's got in her bag. You asked her to get them, you minx.'
I glanced up. All the boys were looking at the hold-all at Scarlett's feet. She did a good impression of appearing nonchalant. If it wasn't for the can she was guzzling I would have sworn she was waiting for a bus.
'OK, OK. Stop laughing. We'll see you next week. It's a really nice room by the way. Yeah, yeah. Chance'd be a fine thing.'
I laughed as I pretended to hang up. I put the phone slowly into my bag all the time looking down at my feet. I took a deep breathe and put on a brave face.
'I'm really, really sorry. It was my mistake after all. What must you think of us.'
There was a palpable sense of relief among the boys. I began to wonder if Matt had really told them what was going on.
'My friends are all at a spa night on the other side of town. The hen night's next week. I hope we haven't spoilt your evening too much. Sorry Scarlett, you were right.'
She grinned at me and tipped a mock salute. The boys were all solicitous and sympathetic. Matt spoke again.
'Why don't you stay and have a drink with us. That is if you've nothing better to do.'
'No. You don't want us spoiling your fun.'