Emily's Awaening:

Emily was ready for a change. After eighteen years feeling out of place, her deepest desire was to feel at home, to go to bed at night wrapped in the warm comfort that she was finally where she belonged, and to wake up in the morning still feeling its embrace. High school had been an absolute mess of failed friendships, forlorn lust, and unending anxiety. From the pressure of her parents' unrealistic standards to her brother's newfound identity as an asshole surrounded by skeevy, internet-troll friends, her home life had not been much better. She felt like she had sat in her bedroom for years, wanting only to escape.

Her mother's station wagon rolled off the highway and past the quaint New England town with its quaint local people, people she would probably never meet. They kept going, deep into the forest, until a tall stone wall with iron gates flung wide open rose seemingly out of nowhere. She felt the tingle of excitement course through her body every time she approached this gorgeous campus, and now it would be her home. The bronze lettering above the gate proclaimed, Chapham College. Underneath was a wide banner in Chapham's royal blue and gold that read, "Welcome Freshmen!"

The five-hour ride had been mostly silent. Emily was absolutely ready to leave home and live her own life, but her mother, Colleen, was having trouble with the idea. "Are you sure you're ready for this, Emily?" she asked.

"I'm sure, Mom," Emily said.

Colleen sighed and grimaced. Emily tried to put the best spin she could on her mother's discomfort. Perhaps she was just feeling sad about losing her daily face-to-face contact with her daughter. "I don't know, honey. I've heard that Chapham can be really cliquey, and you're not the most outgoing. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer someplace that's less...demanding, socially?" There it was. She wasn't sad, just worried that her misfit daughter would fail to walk perfectly in the footsteps of her social butterfly mother.

"Where'd you hear that?" Emily was trying not to be combative, but her tone was frigid.

"You remember Barbara Taylor, Ashley's mother? She was telling me just last week how much trouble Ashley had fitting in when she came here last year. And Ashley's such a nice girl, very personable. If she struggled... Well, it's hard to make new friends, is all I'm saying."

"Mom, Ashley Taylor had trouble 'fitting in' because her boyfriend posted nude photos of her online. I don't think that means Chapham's 'cliquey,' it just means that guy's an asshole."

"Watch your language, Emily! Anyway, I guess you're right that you probably won't have that trouble."

Emily felt her cheeks flush with rage. "What do you mean by that?" she asked as dispassionately as she could.

"Don't take that tone with me, Emily! I just meant that dating hasn't really been your thing so far. So, if that's what got Ashley Taylor into trouble, it probably won't affect you."

"Whatever. I don't dress like you or do my makeup like you, so I must be ugly, right? I must be scaring boys away or something?"

"Emily, why do you always have to give what I say the worst possible interpretation? I didn't say anything like that!"

"Not today."

They drove the rest of the way in silence, following the "Welcome Freshmen" signs to their destination. After a few minutes, they were parked on the road in front of Athena Hall, Emily's dorm. She had been chosen for the Chapham Honors Program, which came with special housing. Athena was Chapham's oldest dorm building, and one of the oldest buildings of any kind on campus, but it had been extensively renovated.

Emily was so filled with joy at the sight of her new home that she forgot the argument with her mother entirely. Athena was an imposing brick building with ivy climbing its façade. It stood four stories tall, one for each class year. There was a wide brick staircase leading up to the building, with marble statues on either side of the main entrance: a scholarly-looking owl on the right, and an open book on the left. Carved into the pages of the marble book were the words of the Honors Program's motto, "For Others."

Emily and her mother got out of the car into a frenzy of activity. Other freshmen were unloading their things on both sides, and Welcome Coordinators in crimson t-shirts were helping them get everything into their rooms as efficiently as possible. Colleen opened the hatch at the back of the station wagon, and one of the girls in crimson shirts came over to help.

"Hi!" she said, beaming. "I'm Desiree. Can I get your name, please?"

Emily smiled. "Hi, Desiree. I'm Emily Colson."

As Desiree scanned the list on her clipboard, Emily was struck by the color of her eyes. They were a rich, captivating brown, like the color of sunset striking autumn leaves in mid-October. They were bright and lively enough to stand out from her skin, which was a deep, warm sepia. "Emily Colson," she said. "Room 417. That puts you on the north side of the courtyard, so we'll use one of the side doors. Follow me!"

Desiree joyfully picked up one of Emily's boxes and led the way, while Emily and Colleen followed, their arms laden with more items. While Colleen was looking around at the campus and the building, making eye contact and exchanging anxious half-smiles with other parents, Emily's gaze was fixed on her guide:

Desiree's tightly-braided, raven hair was gathered into a loose ponytail draped over her left shoulder. The deep-red Welcome Coordinator t-shirt was tied in a knot behind her, exposing the small of her back. She wore short, form-fitting denim shorts with lace at the cuff. As they walked up the stairs, the motion of Desiree's toned legs caused the shorts to shift lower on her tight, round butt. While Emily was trying not to stare at the mesmerizing dimples in Desiree's lower back, she noticed the playful baby-blue of her underwear, perched enticingly just below the slightest evidence of a gap between two round, sumptuous cheeks.

After they arrived at the fourth floor and Desiree led them down the hallway, Emily noticed how short her Welcome Coordinator was. She was probably no more than five feet tall, every inch of which was saturated with beauty and style. Emily had known for years that she was attracted to other girls, but had never been so overtaken by it.

When the trio arrived at Room 417, the door was wide open. Desiree walked in and placed the box she carried on one of the beds. "Okay, Emily, this is it! What do you think?"

Emily looked around. The room had bare, cinder-block walls, the same extra-long twin-width beds as every dorm room in the country, two identical wooden desks, two simple chairs, a sink, a small plastic trashcan, and a wall that was almost all windows. That wall had an old-fashioned iron radiator on one side, a new-looking air conditioner on the other, and a beautiful view out onto Athena Hall's courtyard. Emily smiled. "I love it!" she said.

"Great," said Desiree. She looked at the clipboard again. "It looks like your roommate's name is Kate, but she isn't here yet. Go ahead and get set up. If you need anything, just let me know. I'll be helping people unload all day." She turned and left the room.

There was a moment of silence in which Emily realized that her face must be flushed. Her mother said, "Did the stairs tire you out or something? You're all red. Maybe it would be a good idea to start doing a sport, or at least hit the gym regularly. If you're not careful, you'll gain the Freshman Fifteen, and you're in no position to gain weight, dear."

Emily chose not to respond to this. "We should put this stuff down and go get the rest from the car. I don't want your station wagon down there blocking traffic all day." She walked out of the room and started back toward the stairs without waiting for Colleen to reply.

#

That night, after the boxes were unpacked, the beds made, and her and Kate's mothers had gone, Emily lay on her comfy bed, leaning back on her huge, soft pillows, and gazed out through the leaves of the courtyard's huge oak tree. She imagined that there were college freshmen who sat on their beds their first night and missed their parents, or their pets, or their friends. Emily had never been so happy in her life. It took only a moment's silent reflection for her to realize that this new chapter would have to be better than everything that came before.

She only got a moment's silence. Kate, who had been busy unpacking her clothes, sat down in her desk chair with a heavy sigh. She took a moment to savor her new reality, then said, "I don't know about you, but I want to celebrate! I hear there's a party in the Delta Chi house. Wanna go?"

Emily paused. Years of feeling like she didn't belong had left her unprepared for impromptu party invitations. The thought of mingling with a crowd of strangers--dancing, even drinking--was attractive, but it also filled her with a nerve-deadening anxiety. She was sure that, if she went, Kate would quickly abandon her for people who were more fun and outgoing, leaving her to lean against the wall like she had at high school dances. She wanted to take a chance and try something new, but she was sure that, if she blew it, she would just fall back into her old patterns and become a college version of the social misfit she had been in high school.

"Thanks," she said, "but I think I'll keep it lowkey on my first night." Did that sound too nerdy? Stuck-up? "But have fun!" she added, hoping to seem more natural.

Kate stood up from her chair and said, "No worries, man. I'll see you later. And we should totally stay in tomorrow and get to know each other."

"Yeah," Emily said, "that sounds good."

Kate rifled through her clothes for a bit, pulling out a frilly pink bralette, a silvery halter top, and a tiny black, leather skirt. She laid the items out on her bed and said, "What do you think of this?"

Emily looked over at the outfit. Her first thought was, My God, I could never wear something like that! Emily was not accustomed to showing off her body, in part because her mother had spent years making her feel ashamed of it, and in part because she knew that any rejection at all would send her into a complete tailspin of isolation. "It's nice," she said as sincerely as she could.

Kate chuckled. "I guess it's not something you would wear?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Mostly how red your face just got." Kate laughed again as she began to get undressed. Emily was startled by how comfortable Kate already was around her. Maybe Kate was just a naturally comfortable person, almost exactly the opposite of Emily. Given how tightly wound and constantly anxious she felt, Emily got some satisfaction from the idea that there were people out there who lived free of that burden, and especially from the idea that she was going to be rooming with one of them.

Though Kate was clearly comfortable, Emily thought it best not to stare, so she took out her phone and started scrolling. Despite the best of intentions, she couldn't avert her eyes for long.

Out of the corner of her eye, Emily watched as Kate removed her oversized t-shirt, revealing the body it had hidden. Kate was no beauty queen. Most people would not have called her "fat," but her body was all soft curves of golden-tanned skin. She slipped off her black sports bra. Emily only had a moment to look, but she saw that Kate's breasts were quite large, and noticeably paler than the rest of her torso. She must spend a lot of time on the beach, Emily thought. Kate quickly and expertly wrangled her impressive endowment into the pink bralette she had chosen, which Emily now saw was laughably small for the job. The bralette barely covered her, and the halter top was mostly decoration. She pulled her wavy brown hair back into a ponytail, as if to make sure that it didn't obstruct the view.

Facing away from Emily, toward her bed, Kate pulled off the black yoga pants that had been clinging to her legs. As the yoga pants came off, her liberated legs jiggled slightly with her movements. Emily got a quick look at Kate's round butt, which seemed to have been poured into her tight, black hipster briefs. She stepped into the skimpy leather skirt and zipped it, then put on a pair of black wedge shoes. "Do I look okay?" she asked.

Emily pretended, of course, not have been watching when she looked up from her phone screen. She was not used to other girls having much interest in her opinion of their appearance. "Yeah, you look great!" she said. "Have a good time!"

"Thanks! I'll see you later!"

#

After Kate had left, Emily lay on her bed for a while, trying not to regret the decision to stay in. If she was going to have a social life here, she would have to make it happen, and staying in her dorm room was probably not a good way to do that. Still, did she have to jump head-first, right into the deep end? Wasn't there some way to ease into it?

Her thoughts soon turned to Kate. Emily felt sure that rooming with Kate would be good for her, as long as she didn't do anything to make it awkward. After knowing her only a few hours, Emily wanted to be more like her. She admired Kate's confidence, her directness, the charm of her "gives no fucks" nonchalance. Everything about her was so... Emily struggled to complete that thought. So...what, exactly? The word broke forth in her mind like lightning in a storm: Sexy.

As soon as she thought it, images began racing through Emily's mind. She imagined Kate's body, beautiful in its imperfection, in this and then that position. She imagined herself with her. Kissing, caressing. Emily's lack of real-life experience inhibited her imagination. She imagined Kate doing to her some of the things she had seen online. Then, indulging the fantasy entirely, she imagined herself having the courage and confidence to do them back. The thought intrigued her. What would it be like? Her ignorance kept her from bringing the fantasy to fruition. She felt the warmth of arousal between her legs, but it passed in frustration. She turned off the light and went to bed, leaving her salt lamp on so that Kate would be able to see her way to bed whenever she returned.

#

Kate probably thought she was being quiet, or that Emily was such a heavy sleeper that she wouldn't hear, but that was not the case. Emily was woken up first by the sound of laughter outside. Kate opened the dorm room door, and the light from the hallway shone brightly on her own bed. Emily was thankful not to be blinded by the fluorescent white light of the hall, but it was still bright enough to disturb her.

Emily heard Kate giggle again, then noticed that there was another voice with her. Was she bringing someone back to their room on the first night? Emily kept her eyes half-open and did her best to remain perfectly still. Kate made her way, with a little difficulty, to her bed, while her guest shut the door as quietly as possible.

In the warm, pink-orange light of the salt lamp she had left on, Emily watched intently as clothes began coming off. She saw that Kate's guest was a boy, which disappointed her slightly. She could make out that he was pale and skinny compared to Kate's well-tanned curves. He also had surprisingly thick, dark chest hair. He lay down on the bed and pulled off his boxer shorts. Emily had never seen a penis in real life. This one was shorter and skinnier than the ones she had seen online, but that was probably to be expected. It arose from a tuft of black pubic hair, curved upward toward the young man's torso.

Kate, fully topless, crouched between her guest's legs and put her face directly over his penis. She grabbed it with astonishing comfort and kissed the very top of it. Emily watched as Kate's face disappeared briefly between the guest's legs. She heard him moan. Kate's face came back into view, her outstretched tongue gliding from the base of the penis back toward the place she had kissed it.

Kate put the penis in her mouth and began sucking, bobbing her head up and down. Emily kept her attention on Kate's breasts. Kate settled into a definite rhythm, which caused her tits to swing and sway in repetitive circles. Emily watched them, hypnotized. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the salt lamp, and she had the time now to notice details that she hadn't seen before.

These were not porn star tits. Their massive size was all-natural, and therefore almost impossibly soft. Her areolae were larger than Emily had ever seen online--almost the width of a coffee cup. Kate's were softer-looking, less distinct than the women online, and much closer to the pale pink color of the skin that surrounded them. Compared to the porn Emily had seen, Kate's nipples were larger and softer, even when erect. Emily also noticed that one breast, the one on Kate's left, was slightly larger than the other. At least, it hung down closer to the bedsheet as she sucked her partner's penis. Perhaps it wasn't the size of the breast, but the angle of Kate's hunched torso. Emily also noticed a quarter-sized birthmark on the outside of Kate's right breast, just the kind of human blemish porn producers never had the guts to show.

Emily's head continued its rise and fall for a while, and her guest occasionally moaned or grunted with delight. As Emily watched, she felt a warm, slightly sticky fluid gather in her panties. She thought, Can I slip my fingers in there without them noticing? She was under the covers. Deciding to take a chance for once, Emily moved her right hand from its position at her side as slowly and silently as she could. She pressed her fingers under the seam of her underwear toward her vulva.

Just as Emily's fingers were approaching their destination, Kate's guest said, with a lack of eloquence for which Emily found it hard not to judge him, "Do you wanna get on top?"

Kate took her mouth off of his penis and held it once again in her hand. She kissed it again and said, "Do you have a condom?" Emily found this decidedly un-sexy, but it was a worthwhile intermission. Once the young man found a condom and slipped it on, Kate repositioned herself over his body. She knelt over him, her knees straddling his hips. In the dim light of the salt lamp, Kate's leg cast a shadow between her legs, and Emily could not get a good look, except to see a patch of meticulously sculpted pubic hair. Kate arched her lower back forward and reached behind her for her partner's penis. Holding it in place, she lowered herself onto it slowly.

Emily watched Kate's body bounce up and down, her tits flopping around wildly. At first, Kate leaned forward and placed her hands on the young man's chest. Then, she changed her angle and leaned back, resting on her hands on the bed behind her. Both of them moaned and panted, they grunted and gasped as the rhythm grew faster and faster.

Emily took advantage of the increase in volume. She placed her middle finger between her inner lips, caressing them softly. She rubbed in a circular motion at first, careful not to rush the penetration. Her finger became wet as her pussy produced more of its natural lubricant. As she became more aroused, she added her ring finger to the motion. She began to press her fingers into her body more firmly.

She slipped the two fingers of her right hand inside her pussy, bending her knuckles to curl the fingertips inward. She bent and straightened her wrist in a motion she had rehearsed many times over the years. Inside her, the tips of her two favorite fingers pulled slightly up and away from her torso, rubbing against the most pleasurable spot she had found so far.

Kate and her guest were both caught up in their own sex, so Emily thought it safe to introduce her second hand. She quietly navigated her left hand under the seam of her panties and moistened the tip of her middle finger with the fluid she was producing. As her right hand kept its internal motion steady, slowly building more pressure and intensity, she gently caressed her clitoris with her left middle finger.