I closed the door behind me. I just wanted to sit down and continue reading the book. I'll I could do is imagine what will happen next in the story.
I slide my fingers through the pages, one, two... 30 pages, my eyes start getting watery, guess I am a bit tired. I rub my eyes and look at the ceiling, the crystal ceiling, the blue sky staring back at me. I wonder what's next on my to-do list, I've been so caught up in this book that I've forgotten about my goals.
Sometimes not having responsibilities is exhausting. Not having to worry about a job, about life, about people... Because there are no people.
Stop. Just stop. Don't go there brain for your own sake. Let's start again. You are fine.
I stand up, take a drink out of my fridge and lead out the house, fresh air, yes fresh air is needed. I open the door and walk past the corridors, home appliances, electronics, sofas, open the door of an office, walk up some stairs and I get there, my oasis.
The sky, a soft peach. Buildings, cars, trees, businesses, street lights, everything stays the same but no noise, no one is there to appreciate the calm which now exists with them not existing.
It's been a year, a year already. I had nothing or no one to lose, I guess that's why It's not a problem being alone. Although, I had no choice anymore but to keep on.
...
After breakfast, I check my goal list. Sculpting, checked. Painting, checked. Watching 10 movies in a day, checked. Sewing lingerie, alright, that's a good one.
I walk out of my room straight to home appliances, grab a sewing machine and everything that I think will be useful. But where do I get the fabric? Good thing there's plenty of clothing on the floor below.
First thing, music. I go to the electronic area and turn on the biggest tv there is, the best home theater and let the sounds drown the place. I'm really excited about this goal, I can't wait to make my own lingerie, wear it all around the floor, pretend someone is watching the taking it off. The simple idea of touching myself in every corner of this place turns me on. Heat starts building between my legs, wait, wait, wait till is finished, enjoy the waiting, oh, that taunting agony will make me go crazy.
...
Sewing the lingerie took me longer than I thought, almost give up and wore one from the lingerie section but where's the fun in it.
I took a long shower, used every possible shower gel, scrub and shampoo to pamper myself. Dried my hair, style it, do my make-up, wore the most expensive perfume from the parfum area in the store, it's time.
I slid in one leg, then the other, my skin is so sensitive, the lace caressed it. My breasts were covered with flowers of this delicate lace, I was shivering with pleasure. I was ready for it.
Before all this, I had arranged a space next to the electronics, a bed with the biggest mirror in front, candles, vanilla essence, my mood playlist, sex toys, and my favorite sounds, those delicious male moans.
I walked out of the room, I had the crazy and erotic idea, I crave being watched. My body was covered with a satin trench coat, the noise of the heels filled the floor. The light outside, this seductive lilac, felt like the correct color.
I closed my eyes. Imagined him. Down in the street, looking up, looking at me. Wondering, who is she.
I take the coat off. My body was exposed to the tender light of the city, shivering from arousal, not from the cold air.
I stretch my arms, stretch my legs, my hands travel all around my body, caressing my hair, neck, breasts... Belly... I crave, I pulse, I quiver to go further but I don't. He's breathless. He wants more.
I walk inside. He might be getting in, finding a way up.
The music is playing. My body is pure vanilla.
I sit on a chair, facing the mirror. And, I start moving.
