DWN Driving While Naked
When I saw the blue light flashing the rear-view mirror, I knew I was about to experience one of those moments in life that are unforgettable.
I was driving the car and I was naked. Well, I was wearing shoes and jewelry, but otherwise I was naked as the day I was born. My husband Craig was in the passenger seat, drunk as a skunk (I've never understood that expression-somebody must've gotten a skunk drunk once).
We'd been at my sister's house, celebrating her husband's birthday, he was forty.
We had partied with them and some of their friends a number of times and some of the parties had gotten pretty wild with the wives getting topless and some soft (none of the men were soft, though) swapping.
In the course of the evening, I had gotten naked. I sat in Ed's lap naked and given him a kiss to congratulate him for putting up with my sister and for making it to forty. I wasn't the only one who was naked. Ellen (my sister) had started it by getting topless for her husband. He had a thing about exposing her hidden assets naked around other people. She does have nicer tits than I do. My husband Craig encouraged me to join her and I did. He and some of the other men hid my blouse and bra, so I spent most of the evening with my tits out. We'd done things like that with Ellen and Ed before, sometimes with other people present. Two other women joined us, but two women kept their shirts on. The room was full of tits.
After the guests had departed, Craig and Ed talked Ellen and I into stripping naked and getting our photos taken with Ed. I don't shave my pussy; Ellen does, so Ed really likes to see my naked beaver. When I sat on Ed's lap, I fondled his dick and got it out of his pants. It wouldn't have taken much for him to have put his cock in me. He'd done it a couple of times before when Craig and I swapped with them, but that's another story. I turned and kissed him and took his cock with my hand and did put it inside me, just for a few moments. His dick was all shiny and incredibly hard for my sister when I dismounted.
I was very horny and needed to be fucked. I couldn't wait until Craig got me home and in bed. Ed and Ellen were already fucking when we left their house.
We had to go home since our kids were with a babysitter and it was close to midnight. We only lived fifteen miles from Ed and Ellen and there wouldn't be much traffic. I was going to drive since Craig was in no condition. I'd few drinks, but was more alert than he was. I found my shoes, but the remainder of my clothing was nowhere to be found. I presumed that Ed and Craig had hidden everything so I would have to drive home naked. I'd driven home topless and bottomless before, but never fully naked.
Well, of course, a police car pulled up behind us after we had turned onto a feeder road just a few miles from home. I had been driving safely, not speeding, paying attention to every sign. I had no idea what I had done. Maybe I had been driving erratically; I hoped not. Drunk driving laws are pretty tough in Iowa, where we live.
I pulled off into the parking lot beside a little business, getting off the highway. It was pretty dark with only a security light providing any illumination. We waited while the police were running our license plate through their computer system to see if we were wanted fugitives or something.
I said to Craig, "Quick, give me your shirt. I don't want them to see me naked."
Craig was alert enough to comply. He unbuttoned his short sleeve dress shirt and handed it to me. He wasn't wearing an undershirt, so now he was topless - and drunk.
I managed to get it on my arms and over my shoulders and had done one button when the officer approached.
I rolled down the window and innocently asked, "Good evening officer. Did I do something wrong?"
The young officer sternly said, "License and registration, please."
I leaned over to get the registration from the glove box and had to turn to get my license from my purse in the back seat. I was having trouble keeping the shirt closed and I'm sure the officer had a nice view of my tits. My legs were fully exposed and my pussy may have peeked out as well. I handed him the two cards and managed to hook another button on my shirt.
He leaned into the car, saw my drunk husband and smelled the unmistakable scent of alcohol from my husband's breath.
He said, "Please get out of the car, please."
Oh shit. What was I to do. Rather than tell him I wasn't wearing much, I just gritted my teeth and did it. The shirt covered most of me.
I opened the door while the officer stood back a bit. His partner had joined him.
They both were watching closely as I turned in my seat and put my left leg out of the car. There was no doubt that they could see my naked pussy. The bottom buttons of the shirt were not fastened, the shirt was gaping open so my bare bush was right there for the two officers to see. I had put one leg out before the other, exposing my moist slit to the two men. Their eyes were definitely focused on my bare cunt. The second officer aimed his flashlight right at my crotch. I was embarrassed. I brought my other leg out, ending the show.
They instructed my husband to exit the car too. He stumbled around to where we were and leaned against the trunk of the car. He was naked from the waist, having given me his shirt.
He started to say something in his slurry voice, "Officers, I was watching and she was driving safely."
I looked at him, wanting him to just shut up and not make things worse.
I politely asked the officers, "Why did you stop us? I wasn't doing anything wrong, was I?"
The first officer said, "You drifted through that stop sign back there and were driving very slow."
"I thought I had come to a full stop. I'm sorry."
Then Craig butted in, "That's fucking ridiculous. Don't you guys have something more important to do? There are criminals running wild downtown."
His comments obviously irritated the officers.
I stopped my husband and said, "Craig, just shut the fuck up and let me handle this. You're drunk."
The second officer asked, "Ma'am, have you been drinking."
I said, "I only had one glass of wine a few hours ago." It wasn't a lie. I did have one drink a few hours ago, I didn't mention the additional glasses I'd had since.
He said, "I can smell liquor on your breath." I didn't think he could but Craig's breath was quite noticeable.
I said, "Well test me."
Without them asking, I put my index fingers to my nose with my eyes closed, one hand then the other. Fortunately, I was successful.
Then I said the alphabet, both forward and backward. I missed a few letters, but got most of it right. I walked on a straight line without stumbling. The key was to just do it, without trying to think or be too careful.
The two cops were kind of cute and they were more interested in what I was (wasn't) wearing. I made no effort to cover my pussy. I was in a difficult situation and abandoned any qualms about using my feminine assets to my advantage. Maybe they'd let a good looking woman go.
"You should not be driving naked, ma'am." The second officer said. "We saw you putting on that shirt after we stopped you."
I replied, "Well, I'm wasn't naked. I'm wearing shoes." They looked at my naked thighs and my feet."
The officer said, "It's dangerous to drive without any clothes on and you can be arrested for public nudity."
I defended myself, "It's not illegal to be naked inside a car and no one could see me until you made me get out of the car."
The second officer asked, "Where are your clothes, ma'am."
I said, "I decided to not wear anything tonight. We were at my sister's house for a party. All the women were naked." Let them imagine that.
The first officer spoke to the second one. "She sorta passed the sobriety test."
The second guy said, "She seems a little loopy. We could take her in for a breathalyzer."
They were considering what to do when I suggested, "Why don't you search me. I might have drugs on me."
It was a ridiculous suggestion because I was only wearing my husband's partially buttoned shirt. I was in a playful mood, still horny after having my brother-in-law's cock in me for a few moments. I realized that the two officers were being lured by my tits and my pussy and sensed that I had a bit of an advantage.
I undid the two buttons and pulled the shirt apart, exposing my breasts. It was cold out and my dark nipples were very stiff. I said, "See, no weapons." Although, I was using my tits as weapons.