She woke up fairly early Sunday morning, and sat up in my bed. "Oh my god, where am I!"
"You are in my dorm room, in my bed. My name is Bryan, and I slept over here." Luckily my roommate Jason was out of town, so his bed had been free. I'll have to apologize and maybe wash his sheets. I'll have to do mine anyway.
"Brian? You aren't Brian!" She was clutching my blanket to her chest, even though she was still wearing yesterdays shirt.
"Well, I'm not your Brian, but my name is Bryan. You came looking for him last night, but you found me. I assume he lives somewhere else in this dorm."
The red headed girl, whose name I still didn't know, clutched her head and moaned "Oh, no what have I done?"
"I don't know what else you've done, but last night you got far too drunk, got lost on a university campus and ended up passing out in a strangers bed. There is water and aspirin there on the desk if you want it. And your phone if you need to contact someone." I pointed to the desk. Her pants were hanging over the back of my chair, and her bra was folded up on a plastic bag on the seat.
She did drink some of the water and took a couple of the aspirin.
Then, the part of the morning that I was most concerned about happened, she realized that she was not wearing her bra, but she was wearing my shorts, not her own pants, or underwear. "What the fuck did you do, why am I not wearing my clothes!"
Still sitting on Jason's bed, trying to be as non-threatening as possible, I raised both hands. "You were super drunk when you got here, and shortly after that you had to pee. We didn't make it to the bathroom, quick enough, though. Even then you used the guys room, down the hall. There was definitely no way you could have made it to the girls room on the 3rd floor. Luckily there were no other guys in there at the time." The bottom two floors of my dorm tower are male only, the middle two floors are co-ed, and the top two are female only.
She looked mortified, and mumbled something.
"You came out of the stall holding your pants and underwear, your shirt was long enough to cover everything, so I didn't see anything you wouldn't have wanted me to see. I gave you those shorts when we got back here, and then you threw up and passed out. I rinsed your pants in the bathroom, hopefully they will be dry enough to wear home. I didn't think you would want me to play with your underwear, so I just put those in that bag."
"And my bra? Did I do that?"
"No, I took care of that. I didn't think you would be comfortable sleeping in it. My mom always says that the best part of the day was when she got to take her bra off, and neither she nor my sisters ever sleep in them." She stared at me with big eyes, a little shocked.
"I still didn't see anything, or touch anything. I unhooked it from outside, and pulled it through the arm holes. I would have left it if it was a front clasp."
She looked like she was about to cry. "You took good care of me, I guess. How can I thank you?"
"Two things. First, please tell me your name, and second, please promise that you won't drink so much again."
Amy Finnegan introduced herself, promised to be more careful, and asked me not to tell anyone how wasted she had been last night. That was an easy promise to make, since I don't think we know anyone in common.
She told me that she was a third year at the other school across town, and had been dating the other Brian. He had broken up with her earlier in the week and she came over to try to get back with him. She met up with him at a party, and they argued and he left her there. She had texted and called a bunch of times, but he didn't respond. She made several bad choices that ended up with her at my door.
