This is a true account of my experience of becoming a nude art model and some of the thoughts and feelings that went along with it. Most of it was written 10+ years ago, when I was actively modeling, but is kept in the same current tense writing as when I first wrote it. I feel this conveys a better, truer sense of the emotions associated with these experiences.
During the time I was actively modeling, I posed nude or semi-nude a total of 161 times. I once calculated that translates into the equivalent of spending a total of 19 days (round the clock) completely naked in front of a roomful of strangers! Even accounting for pulling on a robe during breaks, that's still over 16 days of full public nudity.
You would be right in assuming that after that many times posing nude, I would become somewhat comfortable with the idea of being seen nude. But two things: comfort does not fully eliminate the arousing nature of it, and I most certainly did not start out that way. Toward that second point, let me describe my first time posing nude.
Life drawing, also known as figure drawing, generally requires use of a nude model to pose for the artists. This takes place not only in classroom studios for art students, but also in open studio sessions where somewhat more experienced artists come to practice their drawing or painting skills. Since it would be cost-prohibitive for most artists to personally hire a model to pose nude for them individually, this allows a group of people to share the cost of paying the model.
I first began posing nude as an art model partially out of necessity--which produced opportunity for me to do something I had long dreamed of trying, but never had the nerve. After going through a severe reduction in income due to job loss and a poor job market in the late 2000s, I began working on starting a new career in logistics. However, since this requires starting at the ground level and working one's way up, I needed more money to supplement a low income as a front line warehouse worker that wasn't sufficient to support a family.
This coincided with opportunity when one day I conceived of the idea of posing nude for art classes. Long ago while in college I had seriously considered signing up to be a nude art model while at Ohio State University. I've always had a sort of 'obsession' with nudity, and being nude, and always harbored a secret fantasy of posing nude in front of a roomful of clothed people. College would've been the ideal time to pursue this dream, but I never followed through on it because I wasn't sure I could pull it off without roommates and buddies finding out about it--and not having the nerve to face the prospect of my circle of friends knowing knowing I posed nude--I never followed through with it.
So here I was in 2011 with a barely more than minimum wage warehouse job and this recurring idea kicking around in my head. I started searching the internet for everything I could find on life modeling so I could learn enough about it to sound knowledgeable and trustworthy (that's a biggie in a world where most nude models are unreliable) while searching for my first gig.
In early 2011, I started emailing various venues where life drawing classes or open studio was offered. One of these was a studio session held every other Wednesday at Wild Goose Creative.
I had been trying to contact Beth (the model coordinator) off and on for awhile. She had emailed me in April asking for my available Wednesday evenings for the next several months. I replied with dates and got a response back later that evening.
Finally it had happened!
I was scheduled to pose nude--for the first time ever--on May 4th, two weeks away. In just two short weeks, I was actually going to walk out into the midst of a roomful of people--all fully clothed--wearing nothing but a skimpy robe and remove that robe and present myself to them COMPLETELY NUDE.
Whoa! What had I gotten myself into?!
For the next 14 days, hardly an hour went by that this thought didn't cross my mind at least once: "I'm going to pose nude in front of a bunch of clothed people!"
As much as I'd read about it on the internet, I still found it just sort of amazing that this sort of thing actually goes on. Any time in the past when I've ventured outside and taken my clothes off, I was always afraid of being discovered and having the cops called on me. If anyone ever saw me while outside naked, it was only for an instant before I had to take off running at full speed.
Now, I am actually going to get paid for being NAKED in front of strangers. And they actually seem to be very appreciative of it, too. This is going to be REALLY COOL.
While I've always had an exhibitionist streak in me, I had to ask myself if I could really go through with this? This wouldn't entail just exposing myself briefly to them like a streaker or something. No, I would be completely nude in the midst of them for a solid TWO HOURS! Everyone there would have a very extended opportunity to look over every square inch of my exposed naked body, and copy it down to paper or canvas. The thought was both erotic and terrifying at the same time.
As the day approached, I thought about it more and more often. And when the 4th of May finally arrived, I woke up in the morning with my first thought being, "This is it. Today's the day I pose nude for the art class."
It's a wonder I could focus on my work at all that day. I worked from 8:00am to 4:30pm at the warehouse, filling orders and other activities. If it was once an hour that the thought of taking it all off in front of a group crowded into my brain this past week, today it was about every five minutes!
All the time I was thinking to myself, "In __ hours, I'm going to pose NUDE in front of an art class!"
By quitting time, it was more like once every 60 seconds. Since it was now only a few short hours away, whenever these thoughts played through in my head, I could feel my chest tighten up with fear and anticipation.
Could I go through with it? Yes, of course I would go through with it. But would I be able to keep my cool when the time came? I hoped I wouldn't get a case of the nerves and start shaking or something like that.
What if the nerves and excitement caused me to get an erection? I hadn't considered that until now. Thankfully, I was no longer a college aged male and had a little more control of things down there, but it certainly wasn't out of the question. (Probably would've been a much bigger risk had I followed my desire back in college)
I'd read about the issue of models getting erections while posing, but there was no firm (no pun intended) position on it. In some venues it is considered a deal breaker, while in others it's more taken in stride as long as it doesn't seem intentional. Since this was a drawing group, rather than an educational/school setting, the likelihood was that there might be a little more leniency given for an inadvertent stirring. Nonetheless, the embarrassment factor would be just a much for me if it happened.
Quitting time arrived and I left to go home and have a brief dinner. I didn't want to eat or drink very much right beforehand, for obvious reasons. I also wanted to be early so I could get myself prepared well beforehand. I hadn't told my wife what I was going to be doing at work tonight--she knew only that I had arranged to work for an on-call logistics group. I was already in enough of an emotional state as I looked forward to my nude model debut, so I didn't want the added trauma of having a fight over this just beforehand.
I left the house about 6:00pm for the drive to the studio. Wild Goose Creative is a studio located a mile or so north of the Ohio State University campus. They host an open studio night for life drawing every other Wednesday from 7:00 to 9:00pm. They generally get eight to twelve people showing up on a given night. I showed up early, between 6:20 and 6:30pm. Scott, the facilitator, was just getting there, too. I helped him move the tables and chairs, and the model stand, into place for the evening's activity. Now, it was time. Time to go get dressed--or I should say undressed--for work.
