Diary of a Habitual Masturbater

Another totally fictional story that came directly from my sick mind. All characters portrayed are over the age of 18. Disclaimer, I am an amateur writer with little education in that area. My work is self-proofed and edited with the help of software, so some mistakes are likely. Comments on the storyline are always appreciated.

I don't know when I started, doesn't matter I guess. Getting erections that is, I know it was before I figured out why I was getting them. When I got older I found out not just how good it felt to play with my penis, but I would get one when I did. It was apparently before we had the Internet at my house or I might have had a clue. I knew that a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby. They teach you that much in health class, but they don't talk about erections or that a guy has to do more than insert his penis in a vagina to get someone pregnant. They don't say a damn thing about why it feels so good to play with yourself. They also left out any information about ejaculation, or how to make it happen.

All I can say is the more I did play with my hard dick, the more I liked it. I guess early on I wondered why you never seen anyone do it. It led me to have a desire to be watched doing it. I do not remember if I had a specific preference as to what sex watched me. I think I just wanted someone to admire and praise my cock. It may have been fueled by how big it got when I handled it. I guess looking back, I was a grower in the true sense of the word. I have seen other guys in the shower at school, or at the urinal and flaccid, we all were close to the same size, just a few were bigger.

It was when I played with it and it became erect that I was so proud of it. I used to sit in my room in front of my mirror I was so amazed with the growth of it when I handled it in just the right way.

I started getting them at school sitting at my desk, some of my female classmates, and even some teachers seemed to give them to me. The larger their breasts the more I needed to reach down and grab it through my jeans. It got so hard that it hurt when it ran out of room, but I could not leave it alone. I would sometimes imagine what would happen if I showed what I had going in my pants. Like just standing up and showing it off to one of the girls who seemed to be staring at it.

Sometimes when I had to get up to change classes it was very obvious. A lot of guys got them but tried to hide them with a book or something. I becoming proud of mine, especially when I noticed a girl check it out. Guys would wait until we were out in the hall and say, "Joey has a boner, Joey has a boner!"

That did not bother me after a while having guys announcing my boners, I started to like getting more attention from the girls.

Looking back the odd thing was at that point I had not yet played with it long enough in succession to cum. I heard about cum, but had not yet, or to know how to force it to happen. Sometimes I had a little slimy stuff on the end of my penis and it scared me that something was wrong, so I would stop. I thought it could be cum, but was afraid it was something bad I did that was causing that secretion. I eventually figured out it was what is called pre-cum.

I liked doing it, but with no orgasm that comes with ejaculation, I had no idea of what pleasure I was missing. When I was old enough to be left home alone I found out that to cum was the end game and reward for playing with it the right way, and with the proper mindset for long enough.

For some reason, it was that night that I figured out some things. One was that if I did it long enough the right way cum would happen. The other was that if this felt so good using my hand, what would it feel like using something not attached to me? I had a good boner going early on that night, I was so proud of it I wanted it to be seen. So I got naked, hard, and just stayed the way. I even made myself a sandwich in the kitchen while naked and hard.

When the excitement would start going away, I would play some more. We had girls my age and older next door, and I used to imagine one of them walking into my house to see my big boner, and that helped keep it that way. I wondered what it would feel like if it was not my hands rubbing it. I found out one night they were gone, and "Oh Boy" what a night it was. I was standing naked and hard that night when home alone, and I remembered that my parents' bed was a King I was one of those beds made of two separate mattresses, that gave it a crack in the middle. It was a fancy one that each person could control their side.

I hurried down the hall to their room and pulled the bedspread off in a hurry. I had been in their bed before, but never hard and with the intentions I had that night. I was going to think about one of my fantasies as I fucked the bed like a dog does your leg. If dogs are willing to use a leg instead of a female dog's pussy, why would it not feel better to use a crack in the bed for a womans. I was pumping wildly, and thinking about my older cousin from California. I used a memory of her last visit, and seeing her all tanned in her bikini. I had several cousins but Bev was a few years older than me, and not a first cousin. I knew that because her mom was a cousin to me as well, and not an aunt, but did not know the degree of cousin Bev was. It did not matter, as being with her was only a fantasy.

I was busy fucking Bev's pussy in my head, but her pussy was the mattress crack. It was not the same feeling as flesh, but a change from my hand. I was pumping her hard and enjoying it immensely.

Then it finally happened. I got this indescribable feeling in my body. I was on my elbows and could feel myself holding my breath waiting for whatever was causing that feeling to happen.

When it did, it was the most awesome feeling I ever had, and that made it scary as well. When that feeling overtook all my other senses, I knew something was happening in that bed crack my hard penis was fucking. In that split second, I wanted to see what, so I rolled over as it was still happening. I looked down to see it looking angry and spurting white stuff, and it still felt so good. I was amazed and on a high as the last spurts of gooey stuff came out of my penis, and was shooting up in the air. Then I knew for sure it was what was called cum by the guys on the schoolyards.

It was such a unique high, but the gooey stuff was all over my hand, groin, some even on my belly. Once I came down from the high, and grabbed some tissues to clean up, I realized I got it on my parents' bed too. My then limp dick was still dripping as I ripped the sheets off the bed with the hope of getting them off before it soaked in.

The fun part was over, the rest was me washing the sheets, and trying to remake the bed. I guess though it was worth every bit of the work it took to try to make the bed like it was before I soiled it with my cum.

After that groundbreaking awaking, I could not get enough play sessions in with my cock. I was back to using just my hand, it felt great and was always with me. That way I could do it anywhere I was. From doing it more often I was learning what areas to concentrate on to produce that great feeling, and some cum quicker if needed. That was enough for then, I was not going to use the bed again even if I got the chance.

I was fine with the feeling I was getting from masturbating, but wanted more. Once I experienced it, the strange desire to be watched got stronger. I wanted to be seen masturbating to a cumshot. It was not that I did not want to have sex with a woman, but for some reason, I had the most desire to be watched getting off by myself. Talking a girl into sex seemed like a lot of hassle, and at the time I was busy with sports and school work. I was a fit athlete, but at the time was more proud of my large cock than the six-pack I had from football workouts. As I got older, I was back to roaming around the house nude and hard.

I turned 18 that senior year, and my parents no longer worried about me if they went away overnight of course. I was becoming more committed to my masturbation and being seen, and was opening more blinds in places I thought I might be seen as I played, but still kept some distance from those windows. I wanted so badly to jerk off standing right in front of a window, but always chickened out. I was pretty sure I was seen a couple of times by one of the girls next door, but not clear enough for them to be sure. They were of age too, but I was careful not to show it all and get called on it. I would have to try to explain it to my parents.

Then came my second breakthrough came. My cousin Bev asked if she could stay with us on spring break. I would have thought she would go back to California where she lives. It is close to the beach there, but no, she heard about our beaches here in Florida and the spring break parties. She had turned 21 and could drink legally in bars, so that had something to do with it I think.

Then there was our pool, much nicer than the one at her house out there. The properties are so small out there that so are the pools, and landscaping. She had not stayed with us for several years, and things were different on this trip. In the skimpy bikini was a much more voluptuous body of a 21-year-old, about to be a college Senior.

This soon to be 19 year old when he finished his Freshman year had something new to show off to her as well. I was now not able to control my boners around her, but did not care like I did when she stayed with us before. I was old enough now and wanted to show her one exposed, but had to just let her see my bulges to get her reaction.

The first day she was there I had a raging hardon at the pool. I was trying not to look at her too much, but when I did I could see where her eyes were focused, not at my eyes, it was at my bulge. I was showing wood while we were goofing off jumping in, and she was taking the view in. We were shooting baskets and she seemed to like bumping against me to steal the ball away. My cock liked it too, it was hard even in the water whenever she made contact. She was torturing me, she did everything but grab it. I thought she might acknowledge it and even say something, but she only acknowledged it with her looks and expressions.

I took precautions the next day. I wanted some control of my erections so when we were not swimming I could wear some thin shorts. I figured she could see it up the leg without it being an obvious flash. I did not know what she thought about it yet. So I jerked off a load in some tissues in my bedroom before joining her there. It worked for a while, but if we made contact I had to try to let the pool water hide it. We watched a movie later after we both changed into shorts. Looking back I think we both wanted to tease the other. I was on one end of the sofa and her on the other. We were looking toward the TV, but both were in a pose that gave the other a view up the legs of our shorts. I got just a flash of her pussy when she moved around once, but it was enough to trigger an erection. I could feel the air from the ceiling fan on my knob, so I knew I was showing some dick. I was glad I was but didn't look at her again until I could tell it had calmed down.

I was being ornery, and snatched the remote she had control of before she went to the bathroom. I wanted to hide it in my shorts so she might go down there with her hand but was chicken and hid it in my shirt, but not until I changed the TV from the rom-com she was into to a football game. First, she looked for it, then looked my way and my poker face failed me. She jumped on me, first she pulled on my waistband on my shorts to look.

She said and shook her head no, "There is a controller down there, but not the one for the TV."

It was obvious what she was implying, and I had no reply, so she lifted my shirt to get the one to the TV. Then decided to tease me some more I guess. With my shirt up most of my 6 pack was showing, but not all. But she used that as an excuse to pull on the waistband of my shorts down until it was stopped from hitting the base of my shaft.

She started rubbing them and said, "There it is, that six-pack I was admiring when we were swimming. I wanted to rub them, but you seemed so shy then. Not so much now, you didn't stop me from checking out your cock, but you did get a little red in the face, and now seem to be sporting some wood from my interest and touch."

I was hard, and she was right on me then, straddling my upper thighs as she rubbed my chest and stomach. Well, she got close enough to my cock to give me a chill, and I could not reach down to rearrange my manhood if I even wanted to. When my shorts became a tent she acknowledged it.

"Oh My, my little cousin is a man now. I have seen your bulges, but by the looks of that tent, you have an all-out boner there. I just have to see it that way, but then I better go back to my side before my presence and touch make it go off."

Again I had no reply, but I let her pull my waistband again, this time down enough to let my boner pop out. She put her hand around my shaft and held it at the base for just a moment.

"Nice! Long, thick, and firm."

she left things at that but changed the channel back to the rom-com, I excused myself and told her I would watch the game in my room. I edged myself through most of the game before I let myself cum.

Most of my time with her was during the day as my parents worked, after dinner she would Uber to the beach to party with some friends. I wish I could have gone with her, but they really check IDs down here these days, and I was not invited anyway. One night she did not come back till morning, but she had texted my mom her cousin, so she would not worry. I figured she must have gotten laid. I was jealous, and think my mom was too, deep down I think she would like to be her age again. But she said she did not care what our cousin did at her age as long as she was not drinking and driving. My mom still looks good and wears sexy bikinis at the beach, so I am sure she was sexually active before dad, she understood my cousin's sexual desires at that age.

I did a lot of jerking off that week, mostly to get quick relief in my room when my cousin was there. I did not get a good chance for a long session until that Friday as my parents went out for the evening too, and I had the house to my own. I knew all three of them would be back late so I planned on really going at it. By then I had bought a pocket pussy and hid it in my room. I was still a virgin but still desired to be watched on my own more than losing my virginity. I had been jerking around the house but then settled in my bedroom to use my toy.

I was really going at it when I looked in my dresser mirror and was shocked to see my cousin standing at my door watching me, not even trying to hide as she did. My first thought was to stop, but then do or say what? This was what I had dreamed about. It was about then the thrill of actually knowing I was being watched for the first time kicked in. I was not going to stop, if it was wrong, it was she who was in the wrong. When I looked again I saw she decided to walk in further to stand and watch, it was up to her to decide to stay or leave.

I still did not want to reveal that I knew she was there. I tried to just glance to see if she was still there a couple of times, but it was hard not to look at her longer for inspiration. She was dressed but in tiny shorts, and a top. Bev as usual was showing her young cousin some major cleavage. I then decided if she was not going to react, I was just going to finish it for her. I gave up the toy and finished with my hand so she would be able to see more of my cock, and my cumshot. My view in the mirror was my big cock and purple knob sticking up, and my cousin's facial expressions as she watched. I eventually let loose and shot my load in the air, I got an extra rush knowing she was watching, but wished she was closer. But I sure was proud of it, and myself, it was a plentiful shot.

I wanted to know what she thought. I was getting my breath and waiting to see if she would leave, or say something, anything. She could have apologized thinking I did not know how long she was there, but she just lingered for a while. The high I was on must have given me courage, and I just asked her.

"I know you have been back there, I saw you in the mirror watching, did you like the show your little cousin gave you?"

"Little? What I saw was not little! I loved the show, especially because I knew my cuz was doing it for me. I could see you looking at me in the mirror too, we were using the same mirror. When you lost the pussy toy and let me see you work that monster cock of yours, I couldn't leave the scene. I still don't want to leave. I am glad I came home, after that episode on the couch when I finally saw it hard, all I could think about was your cock while I was out, that boner you had lured me back tonight."

She was gutsy, I guess we both were, that cat was already out of the bag, so why not speak openly about it? She walked over and sat on my bed next to me.

She asked, "So, Is there going to be an encore? If so I would love to stay for it if you don't mind?"

"I would love it if you did too, but it was not my first one tonight, so it might take a while."

"What did you use for inspiration that time, maybe I can help?"

"Mostly it was my cousin at the pool with her tits trying to get out of her bikini top. But then there was you sitting on me when were looking for the remote, you got too close to this cock you want to see spew again. Once I saw you watching me, I was done for, I could not hold back my cumshot any longer."

"Well if we are being honest, I have not just masturbated thinking about you, but I fucked two different guys trying to imagine they were you. One had a six-pack, but a pencil dick. You have as big of if not bigger dick than anybody I ever had. I would like to get off too, what if your cuz got naked with you, and joined you, would that speed up your recovery time? I am a bit horny from not getting any tonight, you have been the only man on my mind all week. Seeing all of each other as we get off would be like a dream come to. Three nights of fucking drunk Neanderthals was enough for me, so I really did come home to be with you. Your door was open just enough for me to see you, you looked so sexy jerking off that I could not walk away."

"I honestly would rather get off with my cuz. I never had a guy willing to do it for me, nor have I done it on my own for a man, and you are clearly one now. But that is all we should do, we are cousins. We should not even do what we are about to do. But since we are both adults now and want it, I am in, but it should be our secret."

With that she pulled down the sheets, then she pulled off her top to reveal all of her breasts to me for the first time, then when she lost her shorts she was wearing commando, and I could feel my cock start to twitch. I was just ecstatic to not just see her nude, but to see her checking out my whole body close up was quite a thrill. I could not wait to perform in front of her and was playing with myself for her even before she finished stripping.

When she finished, My God, I was turned on. Her breasts were just as I imagined them, perfect. Then there was her pussy and the piercing she had down there, it was the first one I had seen down there. I had seen 90 percent of that same body at the pool, but that extra 10 percent or so I was seeing made all the difference in the world. I proudly wrapped my hand around my cock, and got serious for her. She got started too, while standing at the foot of the bed one foot up on it. She had her legs spread open to show her bald pussy. She started with one finger but quickly added another. It was my first Exhibitionist act, and it came along with my first Voyeur experience, how could it have been any better? It was already an epic night. It was almost as big a thrill as when I first found out how good it felt to cum.