They haven't seen me yet.
When I woke up this morning, I never in a million years would have thought that my daily routine would be so drastically altered. I didn't think I would be here, obscured by low-hanging, thick, green foliage in the park, taking in a sight that I can only describe as startling, beautiful, and sexy as hell. It's been a very long while since anything exciting like this has happened to me. Man, I've missed it. I think my soul has sprung back to life.
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I do come here quite frequently, along with my book, to get some peace and quiet on my lunch break. Several years ago I could have told my boss to take his job and shove it, but I didn't want to feel useless at home. Maybe Catherine in HR will make me a cake if I finally did retire? She did so for Jim last year, but I'm not sure that she likes me as much as him and his slippery fingers, if you get my meaning.
But this park, and my special bench, has been my almost daily escape, regardless of New York weather, for more than 18 years. Several years ago I would have gladly walked from my office to my bench, read a chapter or two, eaten my sandwich and taken an invigorating walk back once again to my desk. Lately, though, I don't walk nearly as fast as I used to and my energy levels are just not what they once were. I've become a bit of a shuffler. As such, at the suggestion of some of my younger colleagues, I've started taking this ingenious car service called The Uber?- It must be Swedish- and for a few dollars they pick me up from the building and drop me at the edge of the park to save some time. For a few dollars a day I'll take it. Time is more important than money now.
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Today, Tony, my Uber driver drops me off at the place at the entrance to the park, on the most gorgeous late summer day, with the promise to pick me back up in 50 mins. I make my way down the sunlit cobblestone path, pass the familiar line of trees that I have seen grow in the many years I have been spending my lunches here. I take a left off the main path and walk a one-man dirt trek through dense thicket to my spot. My bench; my oasis and daily quiet. I gladly take a seat on my bench and make sure to prop my small pillow behind my back; sciatica. My bench, one of those dedication numbers- a rich family, no doubt, paying homage to their dog; what kind of name is Snowball, anyway?- is snug up against the trunk of a large tree and is made of hardwood slats. The arms and legs of the bench are an intricate swirling black iron design. Because it is summer, the branches of the tree and surrounding hedges are thick, lush and green. I cannot see or hear much from the main path. It feels like I am enveloped by the arms of Mother Nature.
As I take in the smells and sites of my little spot, I eat my sandwich- I think it might by bologna, but it's hard to tell what my wife has packed today. It doesn't really matter. She tries. I just do what I'm told.
I settle into my book, a crime novel, and quickly become absorbed in the pages. I've also made sure to set my watch alarm if, by some strange chance of fate, I doze off. I'm not saying it happens every day... Okay, it happens every day. I'd hate to be late for Tony to pick me up.
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I hear rustling in the hedge and ignore it; probably a squirrel. The sound moves along the hedge and has now caught my full attention. That sounds a lot bigger than a squirrel. I'm annoyed and refuse to investigate. If something wants to come and get me, I'm not going to make it easy but I also am not going to give it a reason to try!
I hear a male voice say "Oof!" and right after that a female giggle... They both shush each other but the quiet giggling continues. My heart beat slows down a little. Bunch of punks. Don't they know that an old man needs his peace? They don't because they haven't seen me yet. The hedge directly in front of me hides my presence. I decide to go back to my book.
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Slurp. A moan. Kisses? Yes, kisses. What the hell? They have my attention again. I hear the man keep his voice steady, even and low and say:
"Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to do this here?"
"Yes, Derek, " she says, " I want to do this here. Now. There's no one around. It's one more SBL that we can strike off the list".
SBL? What the hell? What is happening here? I hear a sharp intake of breath and more kissing. Another low moan. I hear her say, "I didn't bother wearing any. I thought that would make things easier." There's a smile in her voice.
More leaves rustle and I hear his voice coming from a lower angle. "Mmmmm. Perfect... Just bring your knee over my shou...Yeah, like that".