I was pouring my 10th cup of coffee of the day and in the office kitchen when Debbie walked in. I glanced up at her and immediately knew something was wrong. Her face was flush and eyes were red and by her movements she was very agitated. She saw me and quickly turned to leave.
Debbie was stunningly beautiful. The first time I saw her I couldn’t talk. I just stared and stuck out my hand for her to shake it. The HR director who was showing me around said, “This is Debbie, one of our accountants. Debbie, this is Ed, the new operations manager.” She smiled at me and said, “Hi.” I choked out a feeble, “Hi,” and walked on to the next office. Debbie was tall and thin with long, curly jet black hair and perfect deep brown eyes. Her tight butt, perky breasts and high cheek bones make her look like a runway model, not an accountant in a small town Minnesota. We had met 4 years ago and she still was the object of most of my daydreams.
“Debbie, wait,” I called, set down the coffee pot and walking after her. She was already down the hall and stepping into the restroom when I reached the doorway. I went back to my office and continued my afternoon’s work. An hour later I called Debbie’s office.
“Accounts payable, this is Debbie,” she said.
“Debbie, it’s me, Ed. You looked upset earlier and I just wanted to check on you. Is everything OK?”
She was silent for a moment then spoke softly, “Yeah, I’m fine. It was nothing. Sorry you saw me like that.”
“Come on, Debbie, it didn’t look like ‘nothing’. What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Really, Ed, I’m fine. I just get frustrated sometimes,” she said light heartedly.
“I know. This place can get to you. Sometimes the stress is a bit much,” I said.
“Yeah, but the drama working with all these women is just stupid. I get so mad at them for the petty bullshit attitudes.” She was upset, but suddenly remembered who she was talking to. “Oh, Ed, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk like that.”
“That’s OK, Debbie. I understand. If you want, stop up and see me whenever you need.” I tried to speak nonchalantly. I’d gotten hard talking to her on the phone.
A week went by and Debbie and I passed by each other several times. The smiles between us were a bit bigger than normal. Her smile seemed to say, “I’m embarrassed you saw me upset.” I tried to make my smile say, “Everything’s OK”, but it might have been more “I want to come on your tits while fingering your cunt.”
Then came the day when I heard a knock on my door.
“Come in.”
Debbie opened the door. She was upset again. I stood up and asked her to shut the door and sit down. I walked around my desk and sat down next to her. “Debbie, what is it.” She stared at the floor and looked ready to burst. She had been crying again. I almost reached out and put my hand on her shoulder, but I was too busy watching her tits rise and fall as she took deep breaths. I need to work on this thoughtful and caring stuff.
“I’m quitting!” she exclaimed suddenly. “They’re all a bunch of petty fucking butches! I hate them all. Fuck them, fuck this place and fuck this job!”
“OK. It seems you’re mad.” I tried humor.
She looked up at me and smiled, “and fuck you too! Just kidding, Ed. You’re the only one that’s nice to me. They all treat me like I’m a leper. No one will give me the time of day. They all just sit around and whisper about me. I hate them all!”
“This is the ladies in Accounting I assume?”
“They aren’t ladies, Ed, they are fucking bitches!” She was pissed. I nodded.
I got up and sat down at my chair. I had to get away from her. Her perfume was getting me hard. That and her bouncy little tits poking out from her tight little sweater. I’m pretty sure she didn’t wear panties under the skin tight slacks she had painted on today.
“Let’s settle down a bit, Debbie. So everyone is mean to you? Is it just your female coworkers in Accounting, or is it the guys in Purchasing and Sales too?” I asked calmly.
“No, the women are rude and bitchy; the guys won’t even talk to me. I went to Scott’s office this morning to go over the pricing positions. We started making notes on his white board and all of a sudden he sat down and said I should put it in an email. What is wrong with me? Do I smell bad?” she said with exasperation.
I chuckled.
“What is so funny,” Debbie said, “and fuck you too!” She said again and started to get up.
“Debbie, I’m sorry. Please sit down.” She sat down. “I think I know what is wrong. It’s not them, it’s you. More specifically, it’s the way you are.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” She was not calming down.
“Debbie, let’s make a deal. I won’t tell HR about your potty mouth, and you won’t tell anyone, ever, what I’m about to say.” She stared at me for a second and then nodded.
I softly told her, “I think you intimidate people, Debbie. It’s the way you look. It’s the way you smell. It’s everything about you.”
“What’s wrong with the way I look?” she said.
“Nothing, Debbie, that’s just it. There is nothing at all wrong with you. You are perfect.” She stared at me. “Debbie, I don’t think you understand. You can never tell anyone I said this too you, promise?” She nodded again. “Debbie, you’re dropped dead gorgeous. The first time I met you I couldn’t speak. You are so stunningly beautiful that women can’t help but be jealous of you. And men, well, men can’t think straight. I know I can’t think straight around you. There’s no blood left in my brain. That’s the only reason I’m even able to tell you any of this.”
She sat back in the chair and looked around the room. She slowly looked back at me. “Really?”
“Debbie, if I stood up I could prove it too you, but then I’d have no dignity left.”