Hi Neighbor,
Just a little note to thank you for setting up my home security system and monitoring the cameras for me. I feel so much safer with a man watching over my house! Living on my own feels vulnerable, so I really appreciate it. Giving you that spare key also means I don't have to worry if I forget mine, and that's exactly the kind of silly thing I'm likely to do! You're my hero.
Now that you've got access to all the cameras, I do need to tell you about something that could happen which would look pretty strange, and I just want you to know so you don't freak out if you see it.
It can happen if I leave the front light on after midnight.
I have this friend who will come past sometimes late at night. If I've left the front light on after midnight, he knows that I'm signalling him. Ok, I'm embarrassed to tell you what happens, but it's important that you know, since you're my security detail.
If he comes past and sees the light on, He puts on a Darth Vader mask (OMG, don't judge me), and lets himself in with his own key.
Look, it's just a private thing, ok? But I need you to know so you don't call the cops if you see it. Please don't be offended, omg how embarrassing.
So if you see a Darth Vader masked man come in and go to my bedroom, that's what's happening. It's the one you can buy down at the mall, in the toy shop where they have that Star Wars section. Do you know the one? I think he paid just less than $40 for it. Just so you know what to look out for on the video feed.
Oh, and thank you for the advice not to put a camera in my bedroom, by the way! I didn't even think of that, and I'm so glad you pointed out how... exposed... I could be, as you receive little video clips of me undressing! I'm sort of embarrassed that I asked you to put one in there, now that you point that out. I'm such a silly!
But...
Look, the thing is, my friend comes into my bedroom in his Darth Vader mask, making the loud breathing noises like Darth Vader. You know what I mean? He does it loudly to make sure I wake up. He goes to my top bedside drawer where I leave a blindfold, and puts it on me while I do a little "oh no! what am I going to do!" damsel-in-distress act.
I know it seems like a dangerous game, because I literally would not know if someone else came in wearing that mask! But the danger is part of the fun, tbh. And besides, I know it's him because I've left the light on, he has a key, he does the breathing thing, and he knows where the blindfold is. So as long as all that fits the pattern, I just trust that it's him.
