If I hadn't miss-spelled exhibitions wrongly then maybe I may never have got into it, but who knows? Maybe it was just in me and would have come out eventually anyway.
I was looking for an exhibition of drawings that I was interested in, and I'd drawn a blank on Google up till then. Then I tried just 'exhibitions' as a last chance in the hope that it might be listed, but typical of me I spelt the end completely wrong. That's how I ended up clicking on exhibitionists, having no idea what the word really meant. You'd think that by thirty-six, I would have known really, but I'd got married very young, and my life had been taken up with bringing up my two daughters. I'd had a happy if uneventful marriage, but now my daughters were more or less off my hands and I was bored and looking for some new interest. That of course was why I was looking for that exhibition but tumbled upon the strange world of exhibitionism.
It blew my mind a bit to tell the truth, and I could hardly believe it. I started by looking at some pictures that were free, of women doing the most incredible things. Taking their clothes off in all sorts of places, whilst someone photographed them doing it. Right from the start it got right to me, and gave me a thrill that I couldn't understand. Then I found a site, and spent hours pouring over pictures and even videos of girls stripping off and strolling down the road, or walking around shops. I imagined myself doing it and it got me really horny, though of course I could never really see myself actually doing something as daring as that.
Then I found another site, which did sexy stories and found myself reading about women doing the same thing, but this time with written descriptions of how they felt, and why they did it. It was riveting reading, and I began to really understand the appeal. A mixture of daring and thrill, with a risk factor of getting seen or even caught, combined with the simple pleasure of showing your naked body off to strange men who you'd never seen before. It became intoxicating. I came home every evening and logged on to see if anything new and juicy had been added to any of my sites, wishing I had the nerve to do it myself, but knowing that I'd have to enjoy this particular thrill second hand.
I worked part time several days a week up in town, and I found myself wearing my clothes a little more sexily. Not new sexy clothes, just an extra button left undone, going without a bra if I was feeling really brave, or on more than one occasion, borrowing my eldest daughter's short skirts without her knowing, and teaming them up with high heels. I felt a new me, and even my colleagues began to remark on it, saying I looked younger and sexier than they had ever known me before.
My husband? He never even noticed!
There was one particular chap who used to get the same train as me, and it became so obvious that he was eyeing me up. He'd never as much as talked to me, and in fact never did, but one evening as I stood there holding on in the crowded carriage, I started to imagine myself lifting my skirt up to flash him my panties, then undoing a couple of buttons and letting him peep in at my breasts. If he had only known what was going through my mind, then he would probably have gone potty, and grabbed me on the spot.
But I didn't ----- I just couldn't --- too frightened of course.
Walking home from the station that day, I felt so switched on, and halfway home I dipped into the doorway of a closed shop. Pretending that I then took my blouse and bra off, I waited till nobody was anywhere near, then boldly walked out in public, in my mind strolling down the road topless, my bare breasts swaying feely, just as I'd seen on the Internet. It was a strange thrill, a feeling of complete freedom, no doubt not as good as the real thing, but if you have a good sense of imagination like me, then an excellent substitute if you couldn't face really doing it.
I simply couldn't keep the grin off my face.
I saw someone coming in the opposite direction, and darted into another doorway till he'd passed, holding my arms protectively over my supposedly bare breasts, and breathing a sigh of relief that he had not caught me, which seemed so real that it sent my pulse racing, and other more intimate parts of me tingling. I managed to get the whole way home without anyone seeing my nakedness, only suspending the game when I had to cross two busy roads. Back in my house I almost ripped all my clothes off, and spent the rest of the evening walking about naked, dreamily promising myself that if anyone rang at the door, I would answer it like that. But of course nobody did, so my bravery was not tested.
My first real genuine test came just one week later, by which time, in my imagination, I'd walked home from the closed up shop totally naked a couple of times including nonchalantly crossing the busy road and causing a major twenty car pile up as the distracted drivers ogled my body. But reality is not so easy as it is in your imagination, so when an opportunity presented itself to truly take a risk, it was no easy decision.
It wasn't even all that daring, and a changing room in TopShop is hardly the most exotic of venues. However, there I was, already stripped down to my bra and panties, and about to try a dress on, when I realised that just outside the cubicle were two chaps waiting for their girl friends to come out. All I had to do was 'accidentally' elbow aside the curtain and stand in front of the mirror to give them a good flash. Better still, I took off my bra, and prepared for my first adventure.
I stood there, and I stood there, and I stood there.
I couldn't do it! I just couldn't do it.
I stood there with my breasts bared and ready, but couldn't bring myself to 'accidentally' scuff open the curtains. Me, who in my imagination had strolled naked down the street just the night before, and I couldn't bring myself to flash my bare breasts, even fleetingly, with a good excuse for it being an accident.
I never even tried on the dress, and I went home in despair, sure now that I'd never have the nerve to be even a mini exhibitionist. I was so disappointed with myself, to find out that this new thing was just not for me. I felt a failure, and with no real career behind me or anything, it left me feeling pretty low. I decided to drop the whole idea as a waste of time, and for the next few months I tried to drop it from my mind. I was partially successful, and at least the nagging need to show myself off only returned to haunt me from time to time.
I didn't really need to work, as hubby made plenty, though I seldom saw him as he was away so much. Our marriage was to be honest, going through a low patch, and had been for some time. I never normally went away with him on business, but wonder of wonders, totally out of the blue, I found myself jetting out to join him in what to me seemed to be some exotic location, though for him it was just work, some new hotel to be built.
He didn't even meet me at the airport, and the young local guy seemed almost frightened to talk to me, maybe thinking I'd complain to my hubby for his cheek. My journey to the hotel, through the crowded suburbs, thronging with people, was only made bearable by the air conditioning, and my excitement at the week ahead.
When I got to out hotel, at least my husband was there, but following the cursory kiss he gave me, I began wondering whether I should have bothered. My attitude soon changed when I saw the splendour of where we were staying, and what a superb room, or suite even, that I was to spend my six days in. It was sumptuous, with everything you could possibly want, including a large balcony that overlooked the huge blue pool in the pretty flowered garden right in the middle of the hotel. It was a hotel that my husband's company had finished only the year before. Our room was on the third floor, and from the front we had stunning views over the beach and the sea, but due to the slope of the ground, at the back, over looking the pool, our balcony was just a few feet up from the immaculately tended grassy surrounds. It was idyllic!
The first two days were wonderful, though I only saw hubby for dinner when he came home from work. I swam and sunbathed, read books, and even tried tennis, something that I hadn't done for some years. So, even when he announced that he would have to go away for one night, I didn't complain, as it wouldn't make much difference to me.
I hardly noticed him leaving, and it was only when I came back to my room in my new bikini, after spending the afternoon at the pool, that I realised I had the evening to myself. Actually not strictly true. I'd got chatting to a few other people round the pool, and had been invited to join them for dinner. I was quite looking forward to it, not least because one of them was a quite attractive single guy, Michel, who had been quite attentive to me. I'd no intentions of getting up to anything out of order, but none the less it was so nice after the lack of notice I'd had from my husband.
I stripped off and went for a long, long relaxing shower, and by the time I'd finished, fixed my hair, and put on a little make up, not much, but just enough to compliment my new sun tan. I was ready to get dressed and go down to the bar to meet my new friends, especially Michel, who I'd decided I might risk flirting with just a little.
But just a little!