CSU Tales: Ann
Author’s note: CSU Tales are a loosely related set of stories detailing certain fantasies based on my college years. The characters, Ann, Betsy, Cindy, Lisa, and the narrator, are based on real people. We all met at our university’s Chritian Student Union (CSU) and all of us were born again Christians. However, we were not nearly as uptight as outsiders might think. At least, some of us weren’t. The names of people and organizations have been changed to protect those involved (including me!).
Also, I am looking for an editor (or editors) to help make my stories better, especially with regard to characterization and flow.
The clock chimed, breaking me out of the malaise I had been in for the last few minutes. The minute hand, slightly askew, tried desperately to point at twelve while the obedient minute hand pointed precisely at the six. “I can’t do this anymore,” I said, looking up from my books. “I just read the same paragraph three times and I
still
don’t know what it says. I think it’s time for a break,” I said in exasperation.
“Yeah, me, too. I’m about to pee in my pants,” Ann said, giggling.
I laughed. We had been studying since four o’clock and it felt like my eyeballs were about to burst, along with my bladder. Probably one of the reasons I was having trouble concentrating. “Yeah, me too,” I said as I stretched and groaned.
Ann leaped out of her chair at the kitchen table. “Race ya!” she yelled, peeling off toward the hallway. I jumped out of my chair to run after her. It was a small house and a short race. I caught up to her as she slammed the bathroom door in my face.
Ann was giggling uncontrollably. “I win, I win!” she hooted with glee, her voice muffled slightly by the door.
I hadn’t realized how much I actually needed to pee until that very moment. And it felt like I needed to pee,
at
that very moment. “Ann, if you don’t hurry up, I’m going out in your backyard and doing it where God and everyone can see me,” I threatened.
The giggling on the other side of the door stopped. “Don’t you dare,” she said, actually sounding concerned. “You can use my parent’s bathroom, just don’t move anything.”
“Okay,” I said, power walking toward her parent’s bedroom before she had even finished speaking.
I stood over the toilet and sighed in relief as my bladder released a stream of urine into the bowl. It seemed like it would never empty, but eventually, the stream became a trickle and then stopped. As I pulled up my underwear I could feel a drop of urine soaking into the fabric. “Dammit!” I swore under my breath. Oh well, you know what they say, “You can shake it in your fist, you can bang it on the wall, but until you put it in your pants. the last drop will never fall.” I washed up and walked into the hallway where the odor of buttered popcorn buffeted my olfactory senses. My stomach rumbled.
Ann looked up from the microwave when I walked into the kitchen. “Feel better?” she asked.
“You have no idea,” I said dramatically.
“Actually, I kind of do,” she said, giggling again, as she had been doing all night. Nights like these were what made my friendship with Ann so special. Her company and that of the rest of our group made the grueling task of studying somewhat more bearable.
Taking a moment to break the fourth wall, I need to describe Ann’s physical appearance. She was cute, maybe not what most guys consider “hot,” but still, she was cute. Her smile could light up a room and also serve as a warning that something silly was about to happen. She was about five feet four inches tall with shoulder length brown hair. Although she was not skinny, she was far from fat.
“When are Betsy and Lisa supposed to be here?” I asked. They had planned on joining us after they were done with activities with their respective families.
“I think Lisa said that they would get here around seven,” she said. “Betsy’s brother has their parent’s car tonight so Lisa is going to pick her up.”
I was the only male in a close-knit group made up of five friends, Ann, Cindy, Betsy, Lisa, and me. It was awkward at times because the girls would talk about almost anything in front of me. I appreciated the trust they had in me and that they felt comfortable enough to be relaxed in my presence. But sometimes... let’s just say I really didn’t want to know any more about their menstrual cycles.
We ate our popcorn, turned on the TV and then turned it off again because there was nothing to watch. Oh well, at least it wouldn’t serve as a distractor. Whenever I studied with Ann or any of the other girls, I always had a good time.
We talked about our plans for the future and Ann interrogated me about a girl that I had admitted to liking. Eventually, our conversation drifted to our plans after college. “For a graduation gift to myself, I think I’m going to get a boob job. Mom said she’ll pay for it if that’s what I want to do,” said Ann.
Far from being titillating, this comment made my heart sink. This wasn’t the first time she had said this, or even the second. I knew that Ann had tiny breasts from observation, and because she had talked about them in the past. She wore padded bras a lot (which I had helped wash and fold more than once) so that she looked like she was at least an A-cup. In reality, she was somewhere around a 32-AA, which was about as small as bras got. She had mentioned getting implants several times since we had become close friends. It was touching that she would share that with me, but it made me sad that she thought she needed to change her body to give herself confidence.
These conversations didn’t happen frequently, but they happened enough that it concerned me that her self image was so low. I usually countered with some version of, “Ann, I’m sure your breasts are beautiful, and any man who loves you will love you the way you are.” I wasn’t the first friend to ever tell her this, but I was the first male which I felt like should carry some weight. However, I don’t think she believed me any more than she believed her female friends.
We had both grown quiet, mindlessly chewing popcorn and staring into space. I really wanted Ann to have more confidence in the way she looked
now
, not with implants. Ann was a people pleaser, like me, but I felt that this was a line that she shouldn’t cross. She needed to please herself, not alter her body to please people who might not even care. I just didn’t know what I could actually do that would help her understand that, but I cared too much about Ann to not at least try.
“Ann, I’m sure your breasts are beautiful, and...” I trailed off, my thoughts racing. You know how sometimes a thought pops into your head and you speak before you think, which often ends up embarrassing you or someone else? I did it all the time, I couldn’t seem to help it.
“And what?” Ann asked, trying to figure out what I was saying.
“Ann,” I said, “I always tell you that I’m
sure
your breasts are beautiful, and I think that’s true, but I haven’t seen them, so maybe that’s why you don’t seem to believe me. There’s only one way I can know definitively and hopefully convince you that I’m sincere.” The words came tumbling out of my mouth. I wasn’t even sure they made sense.
Ann looked at me in confusion. It wasn’t an unusual reaction because I spoke rapidly whenever I was excited about an idea. “How do you think you can really convince that you’re telling the truth?” she asked.
I decided to plunge ahead. “Well, um, can I see them?” I asked very quietly. My face grew hot as I waited for her answer.