Cougar House Ep. 070: Lazzzzy Boy

12:15 PM

All day long Lily Crowe had avoided answering her phone or her texts. Not just ignoring a certain heroic Ben Dunn, but also his foe for her affections Tyler Overmeyer. She realized after last nights near death experience at some crazy hitman and a rogue FBI official, not to mention her manhandling at the true hero of the day Wayne Nichols, she needed a moment to breath.

The man both killers were after all along, did come through and save the day leaving his defenseless daughter Jenna at Margo's. The girl's strong attachment to Lily's brother Eric's best friend Heath Talbot was after some exploration a bit much to embrace. That whole slave girl thing was becoming, not so much irritable, but more so intriguing.

There were times Lily despised Heath, his ego was so out there these last few months that it was unbearable. Yet, since Lily came out to Margo's for a few days, which became a requested week, she had experienced more sexually in one day alone than her entire sex life. Not so much intercourse, just naked guys in general. Just driving her brother's car and listening to her bestie Kim brag about Eric and her hopefulness that last night might have changed her future, Lily felt sick to her stomach.

She was trying hard to stay in control but with the Hancock boys and Heath swinging their erections around so freely, all of the masturbating over Facetime, Heath's taunting her, that control was slipping. Ben Dunn was a sweetheart, he cared so very much for her, yet her desires were maturing. Even telling herself she was only going to devote herself to Ben, she concluded that was a promise that was fading fast. Was it a mistake staying out at Margo's? Moving into her garage's loft with Kim and Jenna as roommates sounded fun but now that she had come into town to tell her parents her decision and grab some of her things from her bedroom, she just felt numb.

"Are you even listening to me?" Kim stared at Lily from the passenger seat. Not at first, but as Lily turned down her street toward her family's home, she revived her internal hearing aid.

"Sorry! Just thinking of what I need to take out there. I have a bed so no need to figure out how to move my Full size. Mostly, clothes and decorative, right? Swipe a few microwave dishes and silverware?"

"Bieber poster!"

"I am not putting Justin up on our walls. He's outdated! I'll bring my record player and records."

"You own ten records. All crap! I like BB, can I put it up on my side so I can masturbate to him?"

"We're all sleeping on the same cluster of mattresses. You're really going to masturbate in front of me at night? We should be considerate of Jenna." BITCH! Where did that come from? Jenna was nice. Jealousy over Heath weirdly rose from the darkest pits of hell.

"Not like I have any place to go. I'm so not going downstairs and laying on a car hood. Unless Eric wants me too that is. That would be fun."

"Fine! I'll just roll over and put in my earplugs when you do it."

"You know Heath is going to fuck Jenna right in front of us. We might as well get over our shyness Lily."

"I really don't want to think of Heath being in our bed. He's going to fuck with us every chance he gets."

"He is pretty good. I still can't believe I let all the boys fuck me. Am I a whore or what?"

"Yet, you love my brother." Lily rolled her eyes. "Just shush please. I'm trying to stop thinking of everything. Kim, we could have been killed last night."

"But we didn't! Things are over now."

"Are they? As long as Jenna is camping out at Margo's some other bad guy might come for her. As much as I want to move out there, I'm kind of scared."

"We have a guard kitty. The Mountain Lion will scare off intruders."

"Seriously, Kimberly Lisa?" She pulled into her driveway and noticed her dad's truck at home. "Crap! Dad's home for lunch. I didn't even realize the time. How am I going to explain to him that I'm moving? Mom will scream and drive right out to Margo's. She sees nudity and that Mountain Lion she will have a coronary."

"I think your dad will be okay with it. Studly's here!" She saw the dog ruffling curtains on their picture window to look out. "Eric must have just left. I wonder how he explained Studly's missing collar?"

"Who knows? It's easy enough to just say he lost it on the trails. Not our biggest worry." Ignition off Lily climbed out and let Kim catch up, leading her up the porch and in through the side door. A furball attack of excitement Lily fought off the Stud then sent him out into the backyard. Turning around and brushing off her mini skirt she realized Kim was gone from the dining room. "Oh, great! She couldn't wait on me."

Going into the living room she found her dad Dale lounging in his leather recliner eating a turkey sandwich. Legs up watching TV, Dale found himself ambushed by Kim. Knowing Dale since she was ten, he was like her own father, so she often played the game just to be silly. She had literally skipped into the living room and climbed into his lap halfway on the other half on the armrest. Hugging Dale he had to hold his sandwich out of the way or get mayo in Kim's dirty blonde curls. "Hi, Daddy!" Kim giggled! "I want a bite." He did let her take a nibble of his sandwich.

"Home at last?"

He looked at Lily eying his sandwich. Her breakfast making duties were already abandoning her. A few pieces of bacon and a tiny portion of scrambled eggs had already burnt away. Dale was trying hard not to think sexually but Kim smelled yummy as she lay into him her perky breasts rubbing right into his chest. No bra, loose shirt! Just her skip into the room and seeing her boobs dance made him nearly choke on his half-chewed bite. Now that she was in his lap, leg tangled over his it was impossible not to get an erection. It was about to get harder.

Giving in to that sandwich, Lily crawled into Dale's lap on the right side and snuggled up just like Kim was doing. "I missed you, Dad."

"Aww! Missed you too, Lily Jean." She sighed on his chest; his button-down shirt opened wide because he just knew he would drop food on his work shirt. A hairy chest tickled the girl's noses as they continued to hug him.

"Ok! I don't have arms to eat now. Who's feeding me my lunch?" Even Lily going braless bothered him, her nipples tightly erect felt against his side. With his arms around the girls, he had no reach to eat with.

Kim took the initiative and reached over and claimed his sandwich offering him a bite. Lily, seeing it hovering at his lips, snuck in and stole a bite from the side, so close she might as well have kissed her dad. Not uncommon seeing as she was a daddy's girl, just not, that intimate. As he chewed, he spoke with his mouth full.

"Still driving Eric's car, I see."

"Yeah! Margo let him drive her SUV."

"Stud, have fun out there in the fresh air?" He asked! Lily nodded yes until the thought of her dog trying to climb into her naked lap while in a sex swing. So not cool! It looked bad and she was the cunt... brunt of the Hancock boys' jokes. Ben laughing with them. Fun up until the Studly dance though. "So, fill me in. Eric was in such a hurry to get to work he just ditched Stud then said he'd talk later."

"Nothing too exciting." Lily eyed Kim.

Kim patted Dale over his chest hair and chimed in with, "Nope! Just swimming in Margo's pool and walking the trails. I think Eric loves me." She lay her cheek on his shoulder sighing, fingers toying with Dale's chest hair without realizing how badly it looked. His belly made a nice plate for his sandwich. Eying it over their heads he grumbled.

"Will you stop with Eric." Lily swatted her hand then found her own fingers tangled in daddy's bushy MANEliness. "Dad? We need to talk."

"Just keep feeding me." He chuckled! Kim had returned to her teasing his hair just because Lily was still trapped in it. Lily however retrieved his tummy turkey and fed him the rest. Once done she sighed and found refuge in the same relaxing position Kim lay in. His hands free he rubbed their backs tenderly. "What's to talk about? This involve Ben?"

"Partly! I really like Ben, but I need my space, I think. I won't lie he stayed with me last night, but he was helping Margo with something too." Mixed lies, okay, blatant lie.

"I stayed too." Kim had to admit. "Margo is so awesome."

"I think so too." He recalled Margo's naked lap dance weeks ago, his son Eric encouraging it rather than make it look like he was cheating on his wife Georgia. Funny thing! Less than thirty minutes ago Margo was giving Bruno Hancock a lap dance. That dance was taken to bed, and she was still screaming at the top of her lungs. Over an hour more to go even.

Good times, Dale thought of his own experience. That imagery did not help his erection. With the girls' knees rubbing to each side of his dick there was no stopping the arousal. "Your mom likes Margo now. Good for me, I was tired of hearing Georgia rant and call her a hussy."

"She asked if I wanted to move out there." Lily revealed her secret.

"Oh?" He tilted his gaze toward her scalp then kissed her atop the head.

"Me too." Kim shared! "Only if Lily does though. $300 a month rent. We're... IF... we move are going to live in the loft of her humongous garage. Our friend Jenna too." Lily flared her eyes at the mention of Jenna. A name that shouldn't be mentioned for her safety.

"Ah! Margo running a boarding house now. I thought she wanted to open up a Bed & Breakfast out there."

His eyes rolled a bit as Kim's stunning leg moved up and down over his, her kneecap literally massaging his erection without even sensing his mighty eight-inch uprising. The stimulation was building but he only had fifteen minutes more before having to go back to work. Of course, he was the boss, so it's not like he couldn't be late. His kids came first. Although at Kim's unintentional knee job he might come before... yeah!

In an odd moment he kissed Kim on top of her head as he had Lily. She sighed feeling very content where she was. So much more of a dad than her own. Future father-in-law she hoped. If she could just get Eric to stop fucking older women. Pondering that she smirked and had an inspiration.

"Maybe I should make Eric jealous and start fucking older men. Hmm? Where should I look for one?" Dale's dick was beet purple behind his tan slacks. The old man was suffering hard!

"She is if her loan gets approved. She has a meeting with the bank tomorrow morning. Even if she gets it we're welcome to stay. She plans on adding lots of bedrooms for her guests. I'll be a hostess; Kim can be a maid."

"Sounds like a plan. You know your mother will object to you living there, right?"

"I know! Margo said she would talk to her."

Those chest hairs were just plain hypnotic, even for Lily who had zero thoughts on anything sexual. This was her father. However, her own leg was shifting into scratching mode to kick off her shoes, using her toes. Seeing her Kim did the same.

"Would you be okay if I moved? I am eighteen. I should learn independence, right?" Her knee was trapping his erection in between Kim's, their obliviousness working to his advantage. Hugging the girls tighter to him ensured they might stay longer. While, no he wasn't so much thinking on Lily, he sure didn't want Kim to get up.

Little girl was always cute when she visited, often wearing sexy clothing that might turn Eric on. Dirty ole' man Dale was even letting his right-hand slide down to Kim's ass. With no negative reaction he just lightly patted her bottom. Paddling her sounded better but he needed to keep it in check.

Both girls yawning, eyelids droopy the longer they nestled, the more he didn't care about going back to the office. He didn't have any appointments scheduled for electrical repair, so this was where he wanted to be. "I'm fine with you're moving out as long as I don't get stuck paying your rent."

"You won't, I promise I'll keep my job until the Bed & Breakfast opens up." A vivid yawn alluded to a much-needed nap.

"I'll deal with your mother. You two must have been up late. You're looking awful sleepy."

"Long night! We stayed up... talking a lot." Kim mumbled ready to drift off.

"About boy's, I'm sure." He smirked! "I could use a nap myself."

"Are we keeping you from work, Daddy?" Lily whispered, the cozy atmosphere and body heat was so welcoming. She loved her Daddy.

"Naa! I could go in later. I'm enjoying my kids right now. I say we all nap right here for an hour. My little angels." They smiled even as the conversation waned. Tilting his gaze at Kim he peered down at her shoulder, using Lily's hair to nuzzle his cheek lovingly, Lily was out like a light.

Those legs though had a mind of their own, softly using one leg to rub the other, in the process pressing in on his big top tent. Same for Kim, who let her hair teasing fingers slip lower over his abdomen, her caress almost as if she was trying to turn him on. In truth she was fast asleep and dreaming of Eric.

In her lowered arm her camisole strap drifted from her shoulder, an awkward glance at her breasts crushed into his chest he realized just how easy it might be to encourage the silky fabric from her breast. Hand removed from her butt ever so delicately not to wake her, he gravitated his palm to her back just below the armpit and rubbed her softly. Persistent fingers tried to draw it down without pressure. Settling in more she lifted her upper body just a tad. He made use of that reaction and easily exposed her nipple. In her relaxation her nipple touched his skin, his own shirt having parted wider due to her short, subtle repositions.

Lily in her own slumber followed Kim into dreamland. Hers however was more extravagant. She dreamed of Brian Hancock's huge dick in her mouth, Jeffrey and Heath to her sides. Her body reflecting on her inner actions, her mouth parted wide, drool escaping her lips to trickle down her father's chest.

Hands trembling at her visions of jerking off the boys, her own fingers curled amidst Dale's chest hair, tugging at them tenderly. He didn't know what to do. The respect he had for his daughter, this felt wrong. Kim however was not his daughter, even if she did call him Dad or Daddy. If he woke up Lily, Kim would wake up as well. "Just hang in there, Dale ole, boy." He told himself. "Let's just see what happens."

Kim in her fever dream of lying in Eric's arms persisted in squirming a bit. Her mini skirt's hem rose in her latest comfort seeking so Dale saw her butt crack with no problem whatsoever. His hand draping back over her as if a faint breeze he palmed her bare cheek and rolled his eyes back into his brow at getting this far. Nice and firm it was!

"I'm going to nut in my slacks. I just know it."

Lily's drooling lips ventured closer to his reluctant tilt in examining her restful struggles. Her lips were right up on his chest as if almost kissing his pec but not. Still, that pec got aroused enough to jab at her bottom lip. "I'm going to burn in hell for not stopping this. If I pull this stunt off without losing my daughter's respect, I'll... fuck Kim is adorable." Looking over at Kimberly Lisa his pec was now between his daughter's mumbling lips.

"Sweet Baby Jesus! Sorry, Georgia, but Hubby can't resist. We just won't ever tell her. I doubt Lily would ever want to admit any of this either. Not only that but I know darn well Eric won't care if I let Kim give an old man a little fun." Food for thought!

"Eric was good if I wanted to fuck Margo. Which makes me wonder if he'd be good if I just toyed with Kimmy here. I need to find out where my son's head is at. This cutie pie is every dirty old man's dream. Speaking of dreams, looks to me like they're both having some steamy wet dreams. Sorry, Lily Jean... I feel bad for not waking you, but I can't help myself right now. So, you just keep those eyelids twitching."

His admission was met with another cuddle, Kim lifting her face and burrowing it into his neckline, her warm exhales giving him goosebumps. Then came the thin whimpers and light pecks of trembling lips. "Kiss away, Kiddo!" Not once did his palm leave her butt cheek. Zero reaction to his hand placement either. Dead to the world, horny as fuck in Lalaland.

Both Kim and Lily's hands slipped even lower on his abdomen, Lily's curling fingers gently scratching at his beltline. Daring his nerves to allow him to prowl Dale lifted his palm from Kim's ass cheek and lay it over her crack, freezing there to be certain the sensitivity wouldn't alert her. Her roaming pecks led to a murmur that sponsored his inner demons.

"Fuck me, Eric."

Swallowing dryly, he mumbled a reply as if he were his son. "You sure?" In her confused slumber she simply nodded yes and tried clinging to him tighter. Camisole abandoning her other breast under her squirms both nipples were digging into his ribs, thankfully his unbuttoned shirt slipped off of his right shoulder.

As if a fly lighting on her he dipped his fuck you finger between her butt cheeks and ever so lightly touched her pucker. A sigh almost a beg was exhaled along his neck. "Touchdown!" He puckered his lower lip admitting victory. Just lingering his finger there, he found her subconsciously lifting her butt upward to greet an obviously grateful sensation.

Lost in Kim he found his attention forced back upon his daughter Lily. She was making odd noises almost as if gagging, her lips probing his chest, drool increasing substantially. "Hmm? Must be dreaming of Ben. That or Tyler Overmeyer. I don't even want to picture my baby girl sucking a cock." Well, yeah, now that he knew she owned a dildo thanks to Georgia's discovery which started this war, it had crept in a few times.

"Now Kim here, I bet she would be beautiful with her mouth wrapped around my... " Her hand slid right over his erection just lying there as her knee compressed it against Lily's. Curious, Dale attempted to lift his hips just enough to see if Kim would react in some way. Fingers did curl about the head of his tent. Deep breath held, his eyes darted left to Lily. As long as her hand never went there too, he would be okay.

Her hand did drift lower but in such a deep sleep she merely scratched her knee, her knuckles did graze Kim's hand but deviated. "Oh, no!" Dale watched his daughter run her fingers up beneath her mini skirt. At the angle he just knew her fingers were at best touching her pussy.

Dreams were taking both girls into some pretty steamy territory. He was too afraid to make another move. His finger on Kim's butt pucker dipped in as her hips lifted but hardly deep enough to send shockwaves that might wake her up. Explaining his finger would not be easy.

In yet another unpredicted squirm it seemed as if Kim was climbing Dale, her hand leaving his dick almost seemed as if she were pushing Lily away. In her gentle nudge Lily rolled, her skirt rising over her wrist beneath. Dale for a very brief instant saw that his daughter wasn't wearing panties. Puffing his cheeks at knowing her fingers were at max running a fingertip over her clit he diverted his gaze to the ceiling. "So wrong!"

In an inexplicable moment Lily rolled over again and dropped her left leg to the carpet below. Her hand leaving her pussy she simply kept on moving. Standing up she stared away from them and looked lost. Tempted to ask her if she was mad, he kept quiet and held his breathe, listening to Kim mumbling, "I love you so much." Eric, not Dale!

Lily's odd behavior clued him in quickly. Both of his kids were prone to sleepwalking. Dozens of times each over the years but never when he was there to witness its beginnings. Simply freezing in movement, he watched Lily turn left and walk down the hallway. From his angle he could see her go right into her bedroom. "Oh, fuck! That was too close for...", Kim sought comfort in her kissing on Eric.