Cougar House Ep. 037: Period Peace

(Author's warning : As you may guess this chapter is not for the squeamish. The title should give you a good idea what to expect. Try to enjoy it! It's all a part of life. )

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Cougar House 37 Period Peace

"Feeling any better Mom?"

"I was never sick Cabot." Margo Needy covered her face with her pillow to blanket her vision as her loyalist tenant Cabot Ross opened her blinds to a bright sunny day. "Do I smell bacon?" Sniffing the air blindly she kept her eyes closed and sat up in bed, her sheets escaping her beautiful and oh so large breasts. Not even her meaty nipple hard on prevented its downward spiral. Good for Chef Cabot's viewpoint at least! "You do know even I get periods now and then, right?"

"I guess none of us ever really thought about it before last night. I mean you can't have kids and you said you had things removed."

"Only my ovaries Cabot. Speaking of eggs..." She reached for the tray of breakfast eats on her nightstand where he had set it out of the way until she was ready. "Sunny side up just how I like them. You remembered!"

"That's what I made that first time Brian and I brought you breakfast in bed." He beat her to the tray and guided it into her lap, Margo wearing panties and pads. The odor was at least beaten back by the pleasant scent of bacon. "Anyways! Now we know. We just panicked because we thought fisting you how hard we did we might have ruptured something valuable. Glad you're okay!"

"Nothing a hot bath and tampons can't ease. Where is everyone?"

"Brian and Jeff went down to the tents to wake up any sleepovers. Eric is taking his friend Greg home, his buddy Ben swiped his mom's van and left him hanging. He said Ben went to town to hang with his sister Lily but nothing else was heard from him."

"I hope Ben didn't end up in any ditch. I'd hate to have him hurt coming from a party on my property. That would look very bad on my possible loan for the bed and breakfast." She picked up her fork and began to eat her eggs. Leaning over her tray it wasn't easy dining. Sure, enough in sitting up she dribbled yolk down over her left breast. "Shoot! Did you bring a napkin?"

"Forgot that! I got it." Cabot stretched over her and licked the yellow trickle from her tit and kissed her nipple. She giggled and held his face against her areola. He took his time, and she ate bacon.

"Mmm! Crispy! What about Heath? I think he took last night the worst with me bleeding all over his fist."

"Can we talk about something else before I lose my appetite for you?" He sat next to her and rubbed her shoulders, scooting further back for a better reach. "Least we can do is pamper you after putting you through hell."

"Is that any way for a Master to act?" She razzed him and took a sip of orange juice.

"You know I'm not into this Master bullshit. I mean it's fun in small doses but not how Heath and Bri are taking things. Listen I've been thinking...let me run an idea by you. I'll take one for team Needy if it helps get you financed."

"Roselyn Albright?" She was quick to figure out Cabot's plan. "I can't ask you to bed her down in hopes she says yes to me. Not only that but it might require you to be more dominant than you wish to be. Our past might come up and even though it was consensual my sleeping with her late husband...she might still hold a grudge. Possibly not, she did like me."

"Well, you both have late husbands. Didn't Darryl sleep with her too? Swingers, right?"

"This is true. I just don't want her to feel I put you up to it."

"Let me worry about that. I'll become her plaything for a few weeks and see if honesty works."

"Honesty? You plan on telling her I need the money?"

"Best policy they say."

"Coming from a young man who tried seducing me before knowing I intended to seduce you." She laughed. "Maybe in the next two weeks before I go flying off to Paris, we can invite her to dinner and have a real powwow."

"I'll rock her world between now and then." He chuckled. "I know she's trying hard to get me."

"And, what of Maria and your Pastor's daughter? The twins? Am I missing anyone?"

"I know I have a lot on my plate. That's why I'm a waiter. Maria will understand once I explain this is for you. Oh, I forgot to tell you she got a message from family saying they sent her something. She's worried what it might be, she being illegal here in the states. So, yeah I definitely have to be there for her if it's bad."

"Why would her family send her something bad?"

"Who knows? She seems stressed by it though. The twins are just sluts and won't interfere. Now Grace? She's my only worry. I think she likes me now. Might need to be careful around her. Even crazier now that Grace is volunteering at the nursing facility with Maria. Could get ugly!"

"I'll let you make your own decisions concerning this subject. You know I'd be grateful for the assist."

"Exactly! So, fill me in on what to expect from Rose?"

"Roselyn can be bossy now that's she's filthy rich, but again, she might need an alternative after all this time. I will say she's as much of a freak as I am. We got along in that aspect. I'm sure she would love another chance at me."

"I've never been with any woman older than you. Rose must be 45 at least, right?"

"Around there! If all else fails, she can be your sugar momma. Be careful though she might want you to move in with her."

"Hell no! I'm happy here with you."

"Aww!" She polished off her breakfast and passed him the tray. "You can bring that massage back after you set that tray aside."

"Wish I could. I need to get ready for work. After church rush on a Sunday is some of my best tips."

"I'll miss you." She pulled him in by his shirt and kissed him tenderly. "Thank you for being so sweet in my bloody misery." She giggled releasing him. "I'm only kidding. Periods are never pleasant. Thankfully I rarely get them. Imagine if I flew all the way to Paris to take Farouk's virginity and started this there. Poof! There goes my big money payday. Elliot would never let me hear the end of it."

"Fuckin' pimps!"

"Come on Cabot. All of you are pimping me out. Be glad I love serving you."

"Guess so. Let me run the tray downstairs..."

"Go change for work. I'll get it. I need coffee anyways."

"Forgot that too. What kind of waiter am I?" He laughed. "Text me if you need anything from town."

"Cheesecake!"

"Hilltop makes some killer strawberry cheesecake. I'll grab a slice."

"Whole pie. I binge when I'm on my periods."

"Where does the weight go?"

"I run it off silly."

"Are you going running today? Don't bleed out on the trail."

"I'll call if I get chased by a wolf."

"You really do need a buddy system thing going on. The trails might not be safe every single time."

"And here we are making the trail part of my B&B. I'll be fine Sir Cabot."

"Alright! Gotta jet." Out the door he went, his room across the hall. Hearing his bedroom door shut Margo weakly crawled from bed. Sitting on the edge she felt every muscle in her body spasm at once.

"Good lord! Gangbangs used to be so yummy. I feel like I've been hammered for a week straight. Am I getting too old for..."? A pause to shake her head she busted up laughing. "...never ever." In a few days Momma Margo would be ready for more.

Looking behind her she pouted. "I better change my sheets. I haven't bled this hard in years. I know it was antagonized by the boys, but I just can't let them feel guilty. I encouraged this bonfire dance, so I have only myself to blame in proving I still had it. I'll just take the next few days nice and easy. I'm sure the boys won't want to have sex with me hemorrhaging like I am." Saddened by the fact she stood up and waddled like a duck into her bathroom and dropped her underwear. "Good thing I didn't let Heath get rid of all my panties. Hopefully now he realizes the need on occasion."

Peeing she changed her tampon and rinsed her underwear in the sink. Gross yes, but with only two pairs left in her dresser she would have to clean them daily. Reality! Bloody Hell!

********

Approaching Wildwood Pennsylvania...

"My mom is going to kill me if Ben totaled her car. Even if she just sees him driving it, I'll never get to use it again." Greg Shepard was in a restless panic having had his car keys hijacked by his buddy Ben at the bonfire last night. His ride Eric Crowe wasn't feeling much easier knowing he had suggested Ben tell his sister Lily how he truly felt. There was always the chance Lily shot down Ben knowing she might have hooked up with a boy at the bank she worked with. Then again Lily could have changed her mind because she did like Ben but was torn over, he and Tyler Overmeyer. No calls or texts out of Lily so it couldn't have gone down too badly, or she would have let Eric know. At least he hoped!

"Relax until we know for sure what happened. Good thing is there was no sign of your mom's car in a ravine unless it had already been towed. If that happened, then your parents would have been blowing up your phone. So, let's just be optimistic."

"Tryin' Bro! I don't get it, why would Ben just hijack my wheels like that?"

"We both know this has to do with my sister so let's drive by my house and see if he's there. Mom likes Ben so she could have let him in even though it was late. Of course, Ben had at least a couple beers probably, so Mom would have sat on him over alcohol. That religion crap she's hurling around gets old fast."

"You don't believe in God?"

"Of course, I do. I just don't like it when it gets shoved down my throat. I don't know how my dad handles it. I can only imagine Brian's stepmom Carmen dealing with Mom, she works at the bakery for her. Donut Holy's are a menu item." He laughed. "Halo Creams, too, they're just cake donuts with white whipped cream to appear heavenly."

"So, no Devil's Food?"

"Mom did tell me she was fighting that. Carmen refuses to call it anything else. Hilarious!"

"Fingers crossed here's your street." Greg nodded at Wilshire Street two blocks up.

"I know right. If Ben's not here, we'll look around town."

"I don't get why he's not answering his phone. You think he passed out? Jail maybe?"

"One thing at a time." Eric flipped his turn signal and took the designated left. Three blocks down he noticed his dad Dale Crowe outside looking at a car on the street with Tyler and another man. "Oh hell! That's Tyler Overmeyer and I'm guessing his dad." Lily was nowhere in sight. "Listen up! Let's not mention Ben unless anyone else does. Shattered windshield just tells me Ben busted Ty and Lily."

"So, Ben must be in jail if he's not here and did that."

"He could have run off in your mom's van. Let me go talk to my dad and see what's going on. Stay here and keep trying to call Ben." Agreeing with Eric, Greg watched him pull up into the driveway and hop out. Once alone he sent out further texts to Ben wherever he was. No reply was only pissing him off.

"What's going on Pop?" Eric approached with his sunglasses on to prevent eye contact with anyone. "Hey Tyler!" A simple nod at the bank teller all dressed up Tyler just rolled his eyes.

"Morning son! You're here early." Dale winced then shot a glance at Eric's running car. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, that's Greg. You've met him before. Just giving him a ride home we had a party out at Margo's last night. He only lives a few blocks away. We saw you all out here with a windshield problem, so my curiosity got the best of me. What happened?"

"Lily and I were...sitting out here when some asshole threw a brick at my windshield. We both know who that asshole was Crowe."

"I'm guessing you think it was Ben, because of Lily?"

"Come on dude?"

"Just relax Son. We can take care of this without any sparks." Anthony Overmeyer squeezed his son's shoulders.

"Where's Ben at then? Lily for that matter?" Eric looked around then at his parents' home. "It's 8:30 is Mom still home?"

"Getting ready for church." Dale scowled, "She's making Lily go with her to repent."

"Repent...for what?" Eric looked at Tyler's reaction and drooped his jaw, "You idiots did it right in front of our house?"

"Your mother caught them. You know how she gets."

"Damn! Stupid move Ty. No offense, just saying. I'm sure Lily was at fault too. So did anyone see Ben do this?"

"No! I was...reclined back with...Lily on top of...sorry Mister Crowe." Tyler clammed up.

"Can't say I can defend that Tyler, but I'm not going to give you two hell over it. Now my wife? Fire and brimstone. I'm only suggesting you not see Lily for a spell to let my wife cool down. Just hang at the bank for now. I'm pretty certain Georgia took Lily's cell from her as punishment. Eighteen or not the wife will pull the as long as you live in our house card. I know a guy I can call about the windshield."

"We have insurance Dale." Anthony sighed, "Thank you for the offer though."

"Anyone call the cops?" Eric needed to know.

"Not yet! If it was Ben, he was likely just emotional." Dale paused everyone. "Let us deal with him and get to the bottom of this Anthony. Ben seems like a good kid. We've all been there when it comes to women and jealousy. Don't even get me started on my younger days."

"I'd like to hear those war stories Pop." Eric grinned. "Anyways, sorry about your window Ty."

"Whatever! Tell Lily...I'll see her at work tomorrow. Mister Crowe? I apologize if I disrespected your family."

"Not me! Just the missus! Only thing I got to say is don't you dare knock up my baby girl."

"Neither of us are ready to be grandparents." Anthony patted his son's shoulder. "Just be smart about the future." Tyler simply nodded. "Can't drive this car if you can't see out of it. Mind if we leave it here on the curb until morning?"

"What if Ben comes back and takes out the rest of the windows?" Tyler stressed. "Can't we just tow it home? We have insurance for towing, don't we?"

"Good point! I'll deal with this by noon Dale. Sorry to ruin your Sunday morning."

"No problem, Anthony. Good to see you again. We should grab a beer sometime out at the country club."

"I'll give you a call."

Everyone dispersing Dale threw his arm around Eric's shoulder. "Find Ben and see that he's okay. Tell him no one is pressing charges, but he does need to man up to his deed. I'll chat with Lily after church and..." Before Dale could finish his plan the side door to his house burst open and out came Lily, her mother right behind her.

"Come back here young lady. I mean it!"

"Kick me out I don't care!" Lily retaliated screaming. Greg in Eric's car bulging his eyes as Lily wearing a tank top no bra marched toward him, her 36C's showing why she lived in Wildwood. His wood was already rising at the sight. Carrying a small duffle with her she opened the back seat to Eric's car and got inside locking the doors.

"Wonderful!" Eric shook his head. "Calm mom down and tell her to let Lily go with me. Let's put some distance in them for a day and work this out tomorrow. I'll let her stay in my room out at Margo's. I can camp out on the couch in the basement. We can work on this Ben damage and see where the future goes."

"Not a bad idea. You know your mother is going to disapprove of Margo Needy."

"Margo barely leaves home. Maybe she can even talk with Lily and calm her down."

"How about I drive your mother out to Margo's later tonight after there's been a good ten hours to find peace. Once Georgia goes to church she'll come back in a better state of mind. By doing this tonight neither her nor I miss work tomorrow over this. Lily works in the morning too. If she stays the night out there, she won't have a ride to the bank."

"I'll get it her there. She can drive my car I'll use Margo's SUV, I bought her plate sticker recently. It needs to be driven more anyway."

"Alright! Let me calm your mother's blood pressure. Call me if you need anything."

"Will do Pop! Oh, did Mom tell you I want to take Studly out to the country and let him run some steam off?"

"Hairball needs it! We don't have a big enough yard for Big Fella."

"He is my dog technically. I could see if Margo would let me keep him out there."

"We'll see! One thing at a time. You might end up having two roommates."

"Lily can't see what we do out there." Eric chuckled.

"I meant me! Tell Margo I said hubba hubba for old timers' sake."

"Aww hell!"

"Don't let Georgia hear you say that." Reaching the chaos of screaming at the backseat Dale grabbed Georgia from behind and held her calmly. Greg cringing in the front tried not to look in a mirror even. With Lily wearing a short jean skirt beneath her loose tank top he struggled not to appear obvious. At least around her parents.

"That's enough yelling Georgia, the neighbors are praying for you." Being so Godfearing, just hearing that Georgia Crowe sighed and closed her eyes, holding her husband's forearm lovingly. "Let Lily go with Eric for the day, he's going to get to the bottom of everything. We'll talk as a family this evening."

Lily in the back seat bawling her eyes out only confirmed her interior confusion over Tyler and Ben. This was the right move taking her for wide open spaces. She had wanted to visit Needy Manor anyway.

"I got this mom. Go on to church and let me resolve things." Eric stepped up and kissed his mother on the cheek. Hearing their sheep dog Studly howling and hopping up on the screen door the latch disengaged, and the dog found freedom. Bolting outside he circled the vehicle three times before Eric caught him. At least this diversion calmed Georgia further. Catching Studly, Eric looked up at his dad. "Maybe I'll take him out now. Lily can babysit him and take him for a walk."

"Where are you two going?" Georgia felt despair.

"Out to Margo's...just for the day. Sunshine and fresh air will do Lily and Studly good."

"Don't let that whore near my daughter." Blood pressure was back up. Dale put his foot down on his wife and waved Eric on. A swift haul to the driver's side back door he opened it up and let Studly hop in. Lily loved being smothered in fur and licks. NOT! More screaming over having to share a seat with him Greg chose valor. Hopping out he knocked on Lily's door and motioned that they switch seats. Lily happy to comply unlocked her door and stepped out with her bag, Greg catching a glimpse up her skirt to see pussy, no panties. Made his morning! Hurrying into the front she slammed the door and locked it. She couldn't even look at her mother right now.

"Thanks Greg." Eric acknowledged his friend's unusual sympathy, Greg often being a douche. "Just hold his collar for a few I need to go grab his leash and some dog food." Greg complying fended off his own saliva assault. Lily at least turned in her seat to help calm the rambunctious pooch.

With Eric walking in the house with his parents that left Greg and Lily alone. "You okay Lily?"

"Better once I find the money to move out on my own. Have you heard from Ben?"

"Not since I passed out around 4:00. He swiped my mom's van keys from me to come see you. I didn't even know until I woke up."

"I know it was Ben that broke Tyler's window. I saw him run off over my shoulder."

"Stupid move him hurling a brick."

"It's my fault. I lied to Ben and brought this on. He wanted to go see Margo Needy so I... used that to see Tyler. I'm really confused Greg. I like them both."

"I'm still single if neither of them plays out."

"HaHa! Don't! Just don't!"

"Sorry! I see sexy and I can't keep my mouth shut."

"I am not...you really think I'm sexy?"

"My dick is so hard right now seeing you in that mini skirt...I saw your pussy."

"You did not." She dropped her jaw. "Oops!" A blush led her to grin then lift up on her knees to look behind her as if calming Studly. Not entirely to secure the dog she did check out Greg's crotch. Definitely a hard on! More confusion. "Why did I just look at Shepard's...ugh!" Back into her seat she pouted. "So messed up."