Condoms And Cocoa

I don't know why I get so hot when I read about other women's experiences of masturbation, but I do. Among my friends it's such a taboo subject that I sometimes feel like I'm the only one who does it. I'm not a lesbian. I like men, and I've had sex with men, but when I'm on my own and want to bring myself to orgasm, it's not only men I think about. Sometimes I just surrender to the sensations in my body or I start to think about what other women feel like when they get aroused – what they do, what they look like, what they would think if they saw me doing what I was doing.

One of the biggest turn-ons for me is mutual masturbation with another woman. I don't usually fantasize about making love to another woman. What appeals is a sort of fantasy situation in which I'm alone with another woman and we allow each other to watch each other and examine ourselves and get turned on doing it.

I love reading accounts of girls who watch each other masturbate as a way of sharing their experiences for the first time. I never did anything like that when I was younger.

I'm in my twenties now and the moment of innocence when you can do that is gone. Now if I did anything like that it would be lesbianism, which is a label I don't like. However, because of my preoccupation with this fantasy, I've had a number of near-misses, in which I've been very intimate with another woman without actually masturbating with her. These have been among the most erotic experiences of my life and I often use them as starting points for a fantasy while I'm masturbating.

I'm going to tell you about one of them now. I'm getting so turned on by the idea of telling you that it's like a situation within a situation. Knowing someone is going to read this is like being naked in public and it really makes my heart pound.

So you can picture me, I will describe myself. I am sitting in my bedroom at my desk. It is the afternoon. I live in a seaside town and I can hear the gulls calling outside my window. It is October and the sky is covered in great grey clouds being gusted along by a turbulent breeze. I have short blonde hair cut in a bob. I am wearing a white sweat shirt with wide blue hoops and long comfortable white cotton jogging pants and bare feet. I was planning on going for a run before my afternoon classes but I've decided to skip my run and my classes and do this instead.

So...

In the summer before I started college my parents broke up and there was a lot of chaos. They sold our house and I had nowhere really to live so I went to stay with a friend of my mum's called Helen. Helen was married to a rich banker and had three adorable daughters by him, all under five. But she also had an older daughter from a previous marriage called Katie. Katie was fifteen. They all lived in a huge house by a beautiful park and it was a very happy and close family. I felt right at home there. Katie and I had two rooms on the top floor and it was like our own little flat up there, it was so secluded and private.

Katie was just beginning to date boys and every so often she would invite one back to her room and I would hear them whispering in there and giggling and sometimes I could hear the moans of what sounded like heavy petting going on. Not that I was listening. It's just that, sitting alone in my room of an evening, the sounds tended to dominate my thoughts no matter how many other things I had to think about. I had left my boyfriend when I'd moved and I wasn't ready to date someone new so the sounds didn't make me jealous. They just got me hot. Sometimes I would lie there masturbating, picturing the guy with his hand down Katie's panties. Katie was very pretty. She had long dark hair and exotic eyes. Her body was lithe, small-breasted, but gorgeous. Quite small, I guess. I'm 5'5" and she was shorter than me so I guess she was about 5'3". I guess I must have found her very sexy because in my imagination I would often focus on the curve of her belly as the boy's hand slid down towards her panties, reaching towards the wispy dark hairs at her groin.

The boy would always leave before bedtime and sometimes Katie would come in and sit on my bed and we'd chat. I could tell sometimes she was really horny. Her face would be flushed and she wouldn't be able to sit still on the bed. Once, when I sensed she was particularly horny, I asked her what she did in her room with Ben, who was her current boyfriend. "Oh," she said, "just fool around, you know." I asked if they had ever gone all the way and she said, "No, I'm not ready for that yet, I just let him touch me." She giggled and got up and blushed a little and I could tell she was itching to talk about it but was too embarrassed.

I said, "Where does he touch you?"

She didn't actually touch herself but her hand wavered in front of her groin and she dipped her thighs and jiggled her pelvis like she had ants in her pants. "Oh," she said, "everywhere I let him."

"Do you let him touch you down there?" I had my eyes on her groin. She was squirming.

She giggled. "A little."

As I remember this I have to take off my jogging pants. I am rubbing the insides of my thighs. It is a delicious sensation. My nipples are good and hard, and I'm roughing them up a little against the desk.

"You should let him get you off," I ventured.

She gasped. "Oh, I just want to explode when he touches me there." Her voice was breathy and passionate then she was suddenly embarrassed by what she had said and she covered her face with her hands and sat on the bed with her back to me.

"No harm in exploding once in a while," I said.

"I don't want him to feel how wet I am down there." Now she thought she really had gone too far. "Oh God," she said, "don't tell mum what I said, will you?"

I have just had to go for a walk around the room. I took all my clothes off and started to caress my body. I am so turned on by this. But I have put my sweatshirt back on again now because it's cold. My left hand keeps straying to my pussy as I write, stroking it. I have to force myself to continue.

That was all the detail she let me have that night. A couple of nights later Ben came again and I could hear them carrying on and giggling as usual. I went down to have a bath. Strangely enough I didn't masturbate. My body was tense, my mind preoccupied with Katie's experience in a sisterly sort of way. I was worried about her.

Ben left at the usual time and I was lying on my bed in just a dressing gown when Katie knocked at the door. "Oh, have you gone to bed?" she said.

"Not yet. I was just thinking about getting a nice big cup of cocoa. Would you like one?"

"Yes please."

"Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll bring it up to you and we'll chat."

When I came back with the cocoa she was in my room in a nightie, sitting on the bed. God, she looked sexy. She had her legs crossed, showing her long thin thighs, and her face had that flushed look of arousal.

I passed her the cocoa. The mug was hot and she quickly moved it to the floor by her feet. It was a wonderful free movement, letting the nightie ride up so that I could see her bottom and dip down so that I could see her breasts. A volt went through my body and I felt my nipples harden. I remember thinking to myself to be careful. I did not want my attraction to show. I didn't want to lose her trust. But my face was surely burning as I sat down on the bed at the pillow end and stretched my legs along the duvet.

Well, she told me that she and Ben had been kissing as usual and she'd put her hand on his cock and felt how big and hard it was. And she'd peeked at it down his trousers and she's gasped because she thought it was really so big that she didn't think it would fit in her. I told her not to worry, all cocks look big the first time and that really she'd be surprised what would go inside once she started to relax a little and go with the flow.

And while we were talking, she was fingering herself a little down there, through her nightie. She wasn't masturbating, she was just touching her lips, like you might touch your hair when you're talking about how you want it styled. And I could almost see through the nightie the ridges and hollows of her pussy, like a juicy plum held between her thighs. It was such a turn-on. And a couple of times, most exquisite of all, she reached down for that cup of cocoa and I could see her naked pussy, pink and puffy, lined with soft brown hair like down.

I think my head is about to explode. I am fingering my clit, which is getting hard. I can feel it jumping. I am wet enough to slide a finger in. But I must go on.

Then I asked her if she had any condoms and she said she didn't. I told her she'd better get some and keep them in her room, but she was worried that Frances, the cleaner, might find them. So I thought about it then I said I could get some and keep them for her. I wasn't afraid of what Frances might find in my room. It was none of her business.

So that was agreed, and I made her promise that if ever she was on the point of doing it with Ben, that she would make sure she had the condoms in her room and that she could put them back in my room the next morning or before Frances came.

Ben came again a few days later. I gave Katie the condoms and I read through the instruction leaflet with her. Her hands were shaking when she opened it out on the bed and looked at it with me. I wanted to hug her at that moment but I was afraid she'd think I was coming on to her so I just sort of stroked her hand a little and smiled. She was so lovely.

Later, I heard the usual giggling in her room. I was on tenter hooks. There was a long quiet spell when I thought something serious was happening and there were a few low moans, mainly from Ben, but I didn't hear any bed creaking or anything else that sounded like hard fast sex. In due course Ben left and I was expecting Katie to come in and tell me what had happened but she didn't. I felt let-down. I heard her come back from the bathroom and close the door, clearing her throat in the way she always did just before going to bed. I was so desperate to find out if she'd had Ben's cock in her that I crept down to the bathroom and looked in the big laundry basket there that she used for her dirty clothes. Her panties were right on the top and I got them out and examined them. I was looking for sperm stains I guess but what I found was the wonderful musky smell of her pussy. I put the panties to my face and breathed them in. They were still damp. I was so turned on I could hardly see. Blood was pounding in my brain. My pussy was leaking down my thighs. I trotted upstairs, threw my nightgown off and lay on the bed on my back pressing her panties to my face and fingering myself. It was heaven. Pretty soon my legs started to throb and my hips bucked and I was coming big time. I had to bite my arm to keep from crying out.

I have three fingers inside me now, and my pussy is clenched hard around them. I am fighting the urge to pump pump pump my hand into my pussy.

Well, the next morning, Katie returned the packet of condoms to me and as soon as I was alone I checked to see if any had been used. No. They were all still there. I was relieved. I had to acknowledge that I was really jealous of Ben. I didn't want Katie to lose her virginity to him.

Well, I had started a precedent, masturbating with her panties, and it became a habit. Every time she spent the evening with Ben I would rush down to the laundry basket afterwards, get her panties, and sneak them into my room. I'd never been so wet and never come so hard as during those sessions with her panties. But after a few weeks of this I checked the condom packet one morning and one had gone. It was like a hammer blow to my chest. It took the sexiness out of it for me. I never used her panties to masturbate again after that.

But now, whenever I want to get myself off quick, I think of Katie sitting on the end of my bed, naked beneath her nightie, reaching down for that cup of cocoa by the bed and showing me her wonderful sweet pussy with its little line of down.

At last I give in to the glorious rush of desire and I can feel the convulsions starting in my pussy. I am going to move on to the bed now and give it total concentration.