Ever noticed how some people just don't read signs and seem to totally ignore the simplest instructions. Then they wonder what went wrong and why are they in an embarrassing situation?
The camping place I go to has communal showers, and they're truly communal. There's only the one building and it's unisex. As a sop to prudes there are a set of rules. There's an hour in the morning and another in the evening when the showers are exclusive for women, and there's a similar arrangement for men. Between these times you take your chances.
Seeing this still produced whining from women with children the owner has supplied a little chain so a family group or similar can put up the privacy chain and have the showers to themselves for a while.
So what happens is that I walk into the showers during the open session, already stripping off and ready for my shower, and when I reach the actual showers they're occupied by three naked young lovelies.
They spot me at about the same time and they all start squealing and trying to hide their charms, which was a little hard considering the size of some of those charms.
Then one of them ordered me out of the showers but I gracefully declined. I pointed out that if they really wanted privacy they should have out up the little privacy chain.
"We shouldn't have to. This is the women only hour," one of the women politely explained. (I was making allowances for the situation, otherwise I'd have said she was screaming at me.)
I just calmly continued to strip, pointing out that the women only hour finished half an hour ago. One of the woman pointed out that it most certainly had not and was actually game enough to leave her shower and produce her smart phone to show the time.
I glanced at her phone and politely pointed out that it was an hour out.
"I take it you're all from New South Wales," I observed.
"What had that got to do with the time?" the woman with the smartphone asked.
"Well I would assume that you're all on Sydney time. If you switch to Brisbane time you'll find an hours difference."
"No, there's not," she protested. "I've been to Brisbane before and the time is exactly the same. And will you please stop taking your clothes off and get out of here. You're not showering with us."
"Brisbane time and Sydney time are indeed the same, except when daylight savings comes into effect in New South Wales. Queensland doesn't believe in it."
I saw understanding slug her hard. They'd all forgotten about the daylight savings difference. The three of them would have blushed but they were already doing that.
"That's as maybe," the young woman admitted, delicately turning her eyes away from my manly parts that were unusually prominent due to the young ladies displaying their all. "But you still can't shower with us. Please go away and come back later."
"It's just as easy for you to grab towels and leave," I pointed out. "However, if it's any help I've decided not to shower just yet."
"Then why are you still here perving on us?" came the question.
"I'd have thought that was obvious," I said. "I'm hoping one of you might be into exhibitionism and willing to entertain me and her friends."
All three women seemed to give a little jolt as that thought sank in.
"You've got to be joking," said the woman with the phone, putting it down and retreating back into the shower cubicle, as though the water coming down was a defence.
"Not really," I said. "You can see I'm quite interested in you."
I indicted where my interest was showing and all three looked at it. Actually, I should say their spokesman looked at it. The other two were already keeping an eye on it.
"That's nothing to do with us," the woman hissed. "Would you just go away?"
"Well, I would if I thought you weren't interested," I admitted, "but all three of you are pointing your nipples at me and looking very interested. I suspect if it had just been me and only one of you here, we'd already be getting a little more familiar with each other. It's that touch of exhibitionism that's holding you back."
"Do you sell tickets so people can come and admire you," one of the other girls asked. "What makes you think we're interested in you? The water is cold, that's all."
I laughed.
"Your cold water is steaming up the showers," I pointed out. "And if you care to check each other out you'll see none of you are trying to hide your charms. You're all quite happy to let me see what you've got."
That brought me some protest and abuse, the girls seeming to think I was bigheaded for some reason. I waited for them to wind down a little before I spoke again.
"It's obvious that none of you want to embarrass yourselves by offering so I'll make the decision for you. Come here," I said, nodding to the girl in the centre.
"Me? Why me?" she protested, but as I just stood there holding out my hand she moved slowly towards me, throwing helpless little looks at her friends as she came. Her friends just went silent and stood watching.
When she was close enough I drew her to me, holding her nudity flush against mine. I turned slightly as I did so, letting her friends get a better view of our bodies touching each other.