A fictional story, and all fictional characters are over the age of 18. Edited and proofed with software so errors are possible. If you are looking for a literary masterpiece, I would move on to another author's story. Comments on the story are always appreciated.
Dealing with loss is hard, and it is something that I had been doing for close to 5 years. To introduce myself, my name is Carl, and I am too young to be a widower at 54 but feel too old to date, and not sure I could ever get used to someone new. I had a wonderful marriage but it was only because my wife and I were not possessive or jealous. I know that sounds like an open marriage, but it wasn't. I did however feel like I was not owned, nor did I own my wife. Marriage is a partnership, like in business, a good partnership is hard to come by.
I did not know what I had until I lost my wife, who was also my best friend. I am not saying there were not rough spots, we had them but always seemed to get through them. My wife liked to flirt, and it did not bother me. I guess I did not realize there was some danger to it, not sure if she did either. I also didn't realize that I was part of the reason she did it. I feel I was a loving husband, but that is not enough for a woman. What I mean is that I treated her like a queen. Where I made the mistake of thinking that actions alone are enough. I needed to tell her she was my queen. I needed to tell her how pretty, how sexy she was even though I hated hearing bullshitting husbands. The kind that sweet talk their wives while treating them poorly, and sometimes cheating on them as well.
I did have to let my wife know that what she was doing was not harmless and that it made her look bad. It stopped and I don't know if she ever went too far, If she did I hope she enjoyed it without guilt, she was dealt too many other bad breaks in life. I have learned that in the long run, it is the cheater that has to live with the guilt, they are painting themselves into a corner, and have to carry it with them for life.
I guess I am wandering way off subject, but it is hard to explain why a person may choose to be lonely at times over the constant pressures of maintaining a relationship. I have made that choice but would be lying if I would say I did not miss the sex. Not just sex in general, but the sex you have with someone you are in love with. I get an occasional fuck with some women I have worked with. I know how, but try not to tell them my status in a way that gets me pity fuck.
I continue to live in the same house, but the neighborhood is changing, couples had raised their kids and were downsizing, and Couples were moving in that had kids, or getting ready to try now that they had the room. I guess most of them were MILFs even if they had no children yet, they were that age.
My job is interesting at times, and boring at others. I was a videographer, I shoot videos edit them, and present them to the people that hire me. I do mostly commercials and other work for companies. Training videos and informational videos sucked, the editing was boring and time-consuming.
The young neighbors I had on both sides of me were all pretty friendly and did not treat me like an old man, just an older one which was a fact, and seemed to appreciate the experiences I would share with them. I did detect what some might think was flirting from both of the wives when alone. Who knows why women do that, I think maybe the same reason my wife did, their husbands were neglecting them complement-wise. In my case at my age I think they thought I was safe, a younger guy would be quicker to want more.
I became close to David and June who had lived there the longest, they sometimes would corner me individually and would ask me questions about relationships. I did my best to answer without getting my self-involved in some argument the two of them were having. They seemed to be pretty open-minded, I wondered if they were swinging when I saw other couples at their house partying on the deck, sometimes cars were there all night. I found out later that June's dad was killed in a DUI, and that she made anyone stay she thought drank too much.
The closer we got, the more the questions they were asking me became more personal. They also wanted to know more about the videos that I produced. I did not question why, it was just nice to have people have an interest in your job.
I was sitting around their outdoor fireplace drinking with them one night when I maybe opened up too much. Sometimes I get preachy, or teachy might be better to describe it, and yes I know it is not a proper word. My marriage was so good overall, I sometimes feel responsible to spread the word to younger couples as to why it was.
The subject of sex came up, and being a little loose-lipped spilled the beans on how my wife and I would make love outside when we were their age. That it may sound trivial but it added some excitement to what gets to be routine sex.
I pointed to the place on our back deck that had both the right amount of risk and a quick escape route as I told them.
"We found just being naked out here after a few drinks to be daring, and eventually we took it all the way. She started it, I loved the fact that she was willing to do things like that to keep our marriage and sex life fresh."
I experienced a little fear while telling them about this and tried to stop myself. I did not want to lose the friendship we were cultivating.
Both June and David looked at me funny, but not surprisingly it was June that wanted to know more.
"Don't stop there, you got us both aroused, finish the story, describe what your all the way is, we can use it to our benefit later in bed."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." They said almost in unison, so I did.
"OK, they say the way to a guy's heart is his stomach, but the way there is also through his cock. She would first go for mine, get it started with her hands, then go down on me. Only pausing to lose clothes one piece at a time until she was naked, then she would strip me. We would end up right over there on that double lounger pleasing each other then. Knowing there was some danger, and feeling the night air on our skin really got us going. Once we could not take it anymore we would make love every way we knew how, she liked cowgirl, and so did I, but we usually did it more than one way."
I found myself chuckling, as I told them, "I remember one morning waking up naked there in each other's arms. I was awoken by the sound of the neighbor. It was the husband of the couple that had previously lived in your house, he was trimming hedges. He saw us, and we just got up and hurried to the house, eventually fucking again that morning from the thrill of being busted."
"My wife and his was close, well we both were close to both of them. She eventually let it slip to her that they had heard and seen us that night before her husband busted us. My wife was embarrassed until she went on to tell her how good their sex was after seeing us fuck, and that they later did it in their yard at night."
Well, then I thought I went too far again. But it was too late, so I told them I wish now I had some personal video of our sex. They jumped in and asked me if I have ever seen any homemade porn on the Internet?
I confessed in detail, and told them way more than they asked me. I said, "I do need a sexual release now and then and do seek that type of porn to get off. Even though it is better than the so-called professional type, it is so poorly made." I pointed out that when made by themselves, the video is jumpy, when they use a friend to shoot it, knowing that is hot. The video is usually just as poorly shot. I guess if true amateurs could find a pro to shoot it, that would be the best way to go about it. I guess the ideal situation is to find someone they trust that has some experience.
I might have been drunk, but I know I turned both them and myself on saying all that. I was glad we were outside in the dark. It was pretty suggestive and was worried it would affect our friendship. It did, but in a way, I did not expect.
Yes, even though it was a stupid thing to say at the time, it ended up changing my life for the good. They took that opportunity to tell me that they have wanted to make at least one video to keep for themselves, but agree about the quality of what is out there. It took another hour of drinking before they got the courage to ask, and I dared to answer the craziest proposal I even had made to me in my life.
Not only was it crazy, but it was also asked by June who was sitting next to me on the glider at that point. I felt her hand go on and move up my thigh pushing up the leg of my shorts when she said it.
"Would you have any interest in helping us, I mean shooting a sexy video of us? We want it to be with at least some nudity, but maybe we can find a way to make it not too uncomfortable for you? Well, the hand on my bare leg was a good touch, she had me."
I was a little dumbfounded about how to answer though. I knew what I wanted my answer to be, just not how to say it. I had seen June sunning herself in a tiny bikini on several occasions, and had a hard time not invading her privacy by taking a still of her from my window. I do confess I took one photo with a telephoto lens, and have used it for personal gratification purposes. Yes, I am a red-blooded man, and I used that shot as I masturbated. That photo got a lot of use.
I needed some time to think about the proposal, as I never shot anything like that. The chance to shoot her even in just sexy clothes and positions was too good to pass on. I did my best to come up with an answer that did not give away my desire to shoot them, and when we were together again, I gave them my answer.