This coffee seems endless. We're getting to that awkward stage where one of us has to tip their hand so we both know where we're going after this, but neither of us want to. Me, because I'm so nervous after so many years of rejection; you, I don't know. I don't know what motivates you yet, what's going on behind those dark, restless eyes. Of course I know you're looking at me – didn't you tell me you like to watch! - but I don't know if it's a searching, recording gaze or an inventory of my faults. I've been attuned to look for negatives, lately, and I'm fighting off that instinct, harder than you know.
I watch your lovely fingers twiddle with the handle of your mug, wishing they were somewhere else, out of sight. A memory comes back to me of a cab ride, long ago, coming home a little bit drunk from the clubs on Queen with an old friend I'd run into after years of estrangement. I guess we were both a little drunk, because when he gently (oh, so intentional, not tentative, but soft, soft) pulled me to face him dead on, put his coat over my leopard wrap dress and began stroking and working my pussy, I didn't stop him. It was one of the hottest experiences of my life; gives me an idea.
I excuse myself, innocently, and duck over to the washroom. Stripping off my panties, which are a damp, hot mess, and stuffing them into my purse, I catch sight of myself in the mirror – my colour is high, my breasts flushed red – how can you NOT know?
I come back out to join you, swishing my hips a little less than usual as the wetness between them threatens to gush down my legs. That's something you don't know about me, that I overwet. Doctors have told me there's nothing to be done about it. I'm clenching up, trying to keep the glistening warmth inside my swollen lips.
When I sit back down, I can tel you have decided to say something about the elephant having coffee with us, but before you get to it I pass you the panties under the table. I can tell you don't know what they are for a second, but then your fingers touch the sticky lace gusset and I see redness wash, beautifully, over your fine features.
I lean over and whisper to you, telling you exactly what's in your hand. I stretch, one leg out straight and further apart from the other, creating a cleft, and in a few seconds all you can smell is the essence of hot chocolate and my warm, earthy scent.
Terrified at your response, I force myself through it, leaning back in my chair and faking a huge yawn and stretch. It tightens the fabric of my black shift dress over my breasts, putting them into stark relief. It's cold in the coffeeshop and my nipples are so prominent that people at the next table cough self-consciously and look away.
After a few seconds I start to worry I've stepped wrongly; you don't say anything or move from your forward posture over the table. Just as I'm about to cough, embarrassed, and leave, I feel it – a warm hand on my knee, on the outstretched leg. I can't help but shudder a little – it's been so very long since I've been touched in this way. Slowly, purposefully, I feel your hand work its way up my leg. I don't dare look you in the eyes. Am I afraid I'll break the spell, or afraid I won't be able to look away again?