It's not often that you see your co-workers in the nude. But once you do, it changes things. The relationship is different after you've been naked together. No one's body is perfect. Everyone could be more muscular, lose some weight, or is not as shapely as Barbie or her boyfriend Ken. The purpose of clothes (after serving to keep you warm) is to either reveal or camouflage the body. Highlight the good, conceal the bad. When clothes are gone, the pretense is gone too.
That brings me to the day last month when the entire office staff at my employer, about 12 of us, gathered for our annual award ceremony. Congratulations and bonuses are handed out. Our boss is a big proponent of corporate bonding, so after the annual ceremony, the employees go out for a night's celebration. In past years, we've gone to restaurants, to bars, to a baseball game, the zoo, even to a museum. This year the boss announced that we'd all go to a spa.
"They offer a special group bonding experience," Eddie, our boss, said. "We'll be pampered with a sauna, hot tub, a pool and even a massage."
It sounded great, and people brought a change of clothes and bathing suits. What our CEO didn't know was that the spa had a policy on Thursday evenings. It was a clothing-free night.
We had the award ceremony in our conference room. A light meal was served, along with drinks. No one was intoxicated, but the alcohol flowed freely, and made everyone mellow. I won't attribute everything to alcohol, but I know it was part of the story.
When we arrived at the spa, we were all given plush robes. The pleasant woman at the reception desk instructed us.
"Ladies, please go to the locker room to the right, gentlemen to the one on the left. Please remove your clothes and don the robes. Remove all clothes, even underwear. As you know, Thursday is our clothing-free day. Attendants will direct you where to go afterwards."
There was surprise at this, and consternation, especially among some of the women. But the separate locker rooms for the sexes suggested that we'd be separated by sex later on. Everyone has undressed with the same sex in health club locker rooms, or even back in gym class at school, so despite some misgivings, everyone went to the lockers.
When we had stripped and donned the robes, the attendants shepherded us -- all of us -- to the spa's large pool. We weren't the only group there that night and others were inside, swimming laps, some diving from low diving boards, or lounging on chaises by the pool. Men and women. All nude.
A few women gasped. Our boss, Eddie, was wide-eyed. He had no idea what he had gotten us into. I think he was unwilling to acknowledge that he had made a blunder. So, he pretended that this was no big deal.
"We're all adults," he said. "The human body is no secret to any of us. We're here for a great evening. We have to follow the house rules. I'll go first."
With that, he shucked the robe. Now Eddie is in decent shape for a middle-aged man, but his stomach is a little bigger than he'd like. And in the coolness of the pool, his genitals perhaps were a little smaller than he'd like. But he held his chin high, walked to the water and dived in.
His lead left the rest of us in a quandary. After the boss has said this is no big deal, how could we behave otherwise? Most of the guys dropped their robes and went to the pool. But no woman did.
It was becoming awkward. Finally, Priscilla, our young, well-shaped millennial secretary, became the first.
"WFT," she said. And she disrobed. She walked to one of the chaises and lay down. A redhead, she had nicely trimmed, definitely red, pubic hair. Her full breasts completed the package. The other ladies were watching the men, to see how they'd react. I know my head was spinning but I've had enough sexual harassment training not to display it. The ladies looked at each other. Slowly, one by one, they joined in. Until Sarah, our 60-something bookkeeper, was the only female still clothed. The other men had disrobed, so she and I were the only ones left. I felt bad for Sarah. Two children and time had conspired to turn her body into a shape that needed clothes.
I've always had a good relationship with her. I consider us friends. I went to her.