I always knew I was an exhibitionist – in a mild sort of a way, and wanted to be a fashion model. I just loved the idea off walking down the catwalk in those impossibly high heels, wearing all those lovely clothes, the silks, the satins, the transparent tops..........
So I was shattered when, after a visit to one modelling agency after another, it was clear I wasn't going to make it. It wasn't that I didn't have good body. I did, I knew I did. But they all wanted me to pay a sum of money up front for 'tuition fees' – a sum of money I didn't have – and they wanted portfolios of photos, and, what's more, I got the distinct impression it was a question of who you knew.
So I thought I'd try elsewhere, and Paris seemed like a good idea. I simply caught the Eurostar, and sallied forth, armed with the address of an old boyfriend and his new girlfriend, who were living in the posh 16th arrondissement, and who I understood were connected to the fashion business.
When I got there, I discovered that not all addresses were necessarily up-market, even in well-heeled districts, and they lived in a tiny attic, up a beetling staircase. Emma and Mark made me welcome enough, in a 'hope you're not staying too long' kind of way, and Emma, made me up a bed on the sofa for the night, then promised to take me and introduce me to someone she knew next morning.
Stiff as a board from the sofa, I stretched and had a coffee with Emma, Mark having gone off to work in a nearby studio where he was engaged in some kind off project.
We went by Metro to Montmartre, and she led me into some seedy back-streets, where lots of dark faces seemed to be leering at us from the shadows, even at ten o'clock in the morning. Emma stopped at a chipped red door.
'You know this isn't Yves Saint Laurent, don't you, darling?' she said.
Before I had chance to reply, the door opened, and a bald, coffee-coloured man held it open for us to go in, then shut and locked it behind us. We went up a dimly-lit staircase to a carpeted landing, then waited until the man squeezed past us, turned around and showed us a grin which contained several gold teeth, then opened a door, to usher us into a huge office.
In complete contrast to what we had seen, it was palatial, and a sophisticated-looking man in his late forties sat behind a large mahogany desk, formally dressed, but with his jacket draped over his shoulders, his arms free of it, and displaying expensive-looking gold cuff-links. His black hair had hints of grey at the temples.
'Ah, Emma,' he said, in accented but correct English, 'so this is the friend about whom you spoke to me. You may leave us alone now. I will see that your friend is returned to your home.'
I was about to protest, but there was something in the man's manner which precluded such a strategy, and Emma simply touched my elbow, and meekly left.'
I turned to face him, and he smiled slightly, 'I am Roger. You need know no more,' he said, 'and I understand you have been unable to find work in England. Is that not so?'
'I couldn't find modelling work.'
'Just so, just so.' He regarded me in a way I found very unnerving for what must have been more than a minute, in total silence, and then pressed a buzzer on his desk. A door I hadn't seen, because it was covered in wallpaper, like the rest of the wall, opened, and a slim young Asian girl came into the office, dressed in a black minidress and high-heeled mules.
'Take this young lady.....' Then he interrupted himself, turning to me, 'What is your name, dear?'
'Claire,' I said.
He turned back to the Asian girl, 'Take Claire, and dress her for me. I want to see how she would look in four or five outfits for one of our shows. Think in terms of the Club Grand Duc.'
The girl nodded and extending a hand to me, led me from the room.
'I am Ti-Liu,' she told me, as we entered a carpeted room, surrounded by mirrors, with row after row of racks, and banks of shelves and cupboards. It was a large, well-equipped dressing-room.
Ti-Liu bade me undress, and I took off my jacket, jeans, and tee-shirt, then kicked off my shoes, so that I stood in bra and panties.
'Everything,' she said.
'Everything?' I repeated.
'Oh yes,' she confirmed, and I unhooked the bra, then wriggled out of my panties, feeling very self-conscious as I stood in front of the Chinese girl completely naked, aa hand over my pubes.
'Don't be shy,' she giggled, ' you're going to have to get used to being seen.'
I didn't know what to make of this last remark, but Ti-Liu wanted to look me over, and seemed more than a little interested in my pubic hair. I shaved enough so that it didn't show around my skimpy bikinis, but left a little triangle.
'Hmmm,' she said, 'I think that will have to go, but not just now. We'll see what the boss says, shall we?'
Panic again started to set in, as it had when Emma had left me. The boss was going to look at my pubic hair? What was I letting myself in for?
But Ti-Liu was busy selecting things from the racks. Satisfied, she came back to where I stood, a garment draped over her arm. When she slipped it over my head, I gasped. It was a halter-necked gown, ivory in colour, of a shiny translucent material, the skirt only slightly more opaque than the top, by virtue of the fact that it was pleated. My breasts could be seen quite clearly, nipples jutting through the fine material, and my black pubic hair formed a distinct shadow through the skirt. She clipped a big silver belt around my slim waist, and had me step into needle-heeled stilettos. Giving my long black hair a deft brush, Ti-Liu pronounced me ready, and led me back into the office.