Christina’s Search for True Love

This story involves sexual promiscuity, exhibitionism, a brief threesome, and hunting.

*

I am 42, divorced, with a daughter in college. Ted and I married young, and he left me six months ago. We both love each other terribly, and he tried immensely with me, but it turns out he is not bisexual as we thought; he is gay.

Separating was heart wrenching. Why does sex have to come in between two soul companions? Apparently, however, it does. The problems with my own mother do not help. You see, she is suffering from dementia, and the friction of my exhaustion from working and taking care of Mom was the tipping point in what had become a sexless marriage.

I raised our daughter, too. Even though Ted is gay, he is conventional about the woman's role in the marriage. His idea of the woman's role is that I do everything, and he comes home from a hard day at work and relaxes. Maybe this was okay before women were in the labor force, I don't know. But nowadays, it makes no sense at all.

I was looking forward to getting some freedom when my daughter left for college, but my mother has replaced her, and she has done so in spades. At least I don't have to bring Ted his Scotch and water ("Easy on the water, Christina! That Scotch is too good to be diluted!"), cook his dinner, and watch while he falls asleep in front of the TV whilst I wash the dinner dishes.

I'm just doomed. And now I'm all alone, with Ted gone to his lover, and my daughter gone to college and doubtless to her lovers there. All I have left is my job and my demented mother. My father has been gone for over ten years now. I feel so alone.

What happens after divorce is that your well-meaning friends set you up. My friend Mary told me I'm a prize. I looked at her with a genuine look of incredulity.

"Christina, you are pretty, you have a great body for a 42-year-old; you look as if you are in your mid 30s at the oldest! And men love a woman freshly divorced, because they fuck like rabbits," she said.

"Mary!" I cried out. "How can you say such things?"

"Look Christina, how long has it been since you had sex? And how long has it been since you have had good sex?" She had a point.

"Define good sex," I said.

"Well at a minimum, you need to cum, you know? But it should be a memorable experience," Mary answered.

"Okay let me see. It's been a little over a year, maybe a year and a half, since Ted and I had sex. You are aware he has decided that he is definitively gay, right?"

Ignoring my attempts to indulge in self-pity, Mary said, "What about sex that did not include Ted?"

"What do you mean? Masturbation?" I asked.

"I mean other men, of course. I mean an affair or two. Or three." Mary saw how I looked at her. She said, "Oh come on, goody two shoes, you were married to a man who is gay and was not giving you any satisfaction and you never strayed? Not even once?"

"No. No, I didn't," I said. The way Mary was speaking, the tone of her voice, suddenly made me ashamed that I had not committed adultery! This was nuts.

"Shit, girl. You are ready. Every man in the county will want to take you to bed!" Mary remarked.

"That may be. There are not that many men in the county," I joked. We lived in the biggest town in the county, with a whopping big population of 30,000. The entire county had a population of only 50,000 souls. And that 50k counts Ted, my ex, and of course his lover, now called his partner.

Mary was relentless. I agreed to go on a date she planned to set up, "if you can find someone who even wants to take out an old, rejected hag," I said.

Mary smiled. "It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel," she said.

"Don't do that," I rejoined. "I prefer men who are still alive."

I was nervous before my first date. Mary had come over to help me to get dressed. She boosted my confidence, and she even did the impossible: She convinced me I looked pretty and sexy. If only I myself could feel pretty and sexy. I began to realize I had suffered a lot of damage due to Ted.

My first date in some ways was a disaster. The man was nice, and he was respectful, but we had nothing in common. Nothing! It's the woman's duty to keep the conversation going, and it turned out to be a monumental effort. I made a silent vow to learn about hunting, car racing, or lake boating, so I could speak to men from my county. Sports talk was beyond me.

To keep things going, I simply asked him to explain the infield fly rule to me. That changed everything. Men simply love to explain sports to women. Who knew? By the end of the evening he even liked me. He walked me to the door and gave me a goodnight kiss, and I was not expecting it. I blew it. I could not even do that well!

Feeling bad, I invited him in for a nightcap. He happily came in, and I offered him some of Ted's Scotch, the one that was too good to dilute too much. He had three glasses and was getting nicely sloshed. I asked if he wanted to try kissing again.

We kissed, and it felt nice. I was at a loss as to what to do, so I just decided to follow his lead. Soon my dress was unzipped. I stood up and took it off, and sat back down in bra, panties, and pantyhose.

My date, whose name was Kevin, asked if I would remove my pantyhose "like they do in the movies." I of course had no idea what he meant. So, we fired up my computer and he went to a porn site and found a 10-minute-long video of a woman sexily peeling off her hose and then fucking some guy's brains out.

"That's what you want me to do?" I asked, when the 10-minute video ended.

"Yeah. Removing pantyhose is so sexy," Kevin said. He was really sloshed.

I got up. I put my leg on a chair and slowly peeled down one leg. I tried to do it sexily, like the woman had done in the video. Then I peeled off the other leg. Kevin's eyes were wide. I guess he did not expect me to comply so readily. I was at sea here. I had no intuition as to what was expected of me. What was I supposed to do?

I stood in front of him. Kevin said, "Keep going, Christina. God, you have gorgeous legs."

"What do you mean, keep going?" I asked.

"Like in the video, babe. Let's act it out," Kevin said. "Keep going, girl."

The actress in the porn video had continued stripping until she was naked. Then she undressed the man and sucked him off. Then he fucked her. They fucked in three different positions. All that in ten minutes. It ended with a cum shot all over her face, and the woman was actually smiling. I'm not that good an actress.

I kept going. I removed my bra, and Kevin's eyes got wider. It was not until later that I realized he was certainly not expecting that! Undeterred by his reaction, which I did not understand at the moment, I stripped off my panties. Kevin's jaw fell open. I took off his pants and pulled down his briefs. "Lose the rest," I said, and in a country minute Kevin was without his shirt, shoes, and socks, and he too was stark naked.

Men don't look that good naked. He had a beer belly for one thing, and too much body hair for another. He also could have trimmed his toenails more often; it wouldn't have hurt. But I didn't care; I cared more about what he thought of my naked body. If his erection was any indication, he liked it well enough.

On the video the woman sucked off the man for a while. But I knew that would make me think of Ted, since my image of two gay men inevitably involved fellatio and anal sex. I was really good at both, since Ted loved getting sucked even more than he loved taking me in my ass, which is saying something.

I had done both for Ted countless times, but I did not want to do either with Kevin. So, I led him to the bedroom, lay on the bed, spread my legs, and said, "Come here, Kevin," and I blew him air kisses.

Kevin knew Ted was gay. By now I guess, everyone knew. No doubt he figured I was the horniest middle-aged woman in the county, maybe in the tri-county area, even. At that moment, he might have been right. He probably thought he was prepared for my reaction to him when he entered me. Not even I was prepared for it.

My reaction surprised both of us. Shocked us both is more like it. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. For my entire life, sexually I had known only Ted. He took my virginity and I was loyal to him throughout my adult life. While Kevin's breath smelled like Ted's breath (they both smelled of the same Scotch whiskey), the similarities ended there. I behaved like a woman possessed.

I wanted that cock inside me, all the way. I could not get enough. I groaned, I moaned, I screamed out obscenities. I cried from the joy, from the pleasure. Forty-two years old, a mother, and a successful woman doctor, I realized I had never experienced sex before with -- how should I say this -- a man who desired me purely for sexual pleasure, nothing more, nothing less. I loved it. I craved it.

The extra dimensions of affection, and sex as an expression of love, were completely absent. I barely knew the man, and we had close to no interests in common. Sure, he looked nice, and I like the smell of Scotch whiskey on a man's breath, but it stopped there.

This was just sex. It was pure sex, for the sake of sex. I suspect it's not unusual with many men for that to be enough, but it was not enough for me. Probably it's not a good thing for many a woman. But just then it was both not enough and at the same time, perfect for me: Maybe not what I wanted, but it was exactly what I needed.

As Mick Jagger once famously sang, you don't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well you might find, you get what you need.

I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him deep inside me. I rolled him over so I could be on top, and I fucked him viciously, my boobs grazing his sexy, hairy chest, my nipples tickling and teasing him as I forced his cock inside me, over and over again. I ran him ragged. I think he might have been relieved when he finally exploded inside me.

I immediately wanted more. He was spent. But I needed more. I tried to suck him back to life but it was hopeless. I was like a crazy woman. I needed more. I needed much more. "Could you call a friend?" I asked.

Kevin just looked at me. I'm sure that he decided at that very moment that I was crazy. He was right in a way; I was crazy with lust. He got dressed and basically ran away.

On parting, he said, "Lady, you are something else, you know? I had fun. Bye!" and he was gone.

I sat there, dazed. I called Mary, and told all. She laughed. When I was done, she said, "Oh honey, when he blabs this around, the men are going to be lining up ten deep to date you. I should sell tickets."

I said, "I need more. Where can I get a dildo? Or a vibrator? Or both?"

"JFGI, moron," came the reply.

"No, Mary. I mean now. Right now. It's already 11pm," I said.

"I thought you had them. Didn't you tell me once Ted liked it when you used a strap-on?"

"Yes, but he took that and all the dildos when he walked out for his new lover. Not one of his more gracious moments," I said.

"Well if it's that bad, the adult store downtown is open until midnight."

"Meet me there?"

"Oh, honey. You've got it bad," Mary said.

Channeling Jeremy Irons, I said, "You have no idea. Fifteen minutes?"

"Give me twenty," Mary said.

The adult store was not in a neighborhood that a nice, bourgeois, 40-something single woman goes to around midnight. But I was in heat. I was desperate. I drove down and parked outside. I had got there in only ten minutes, and I had ten minutes to wait for Mary. If she were to be on time.

I said to myself, fuck it. I got out of my car and walked across the street. I went right into the adult store.

A nice young woman, I guess she was in her late teens, asked if she could help me? Her body was covered in tattoos. I know this because much of her body was on display. Only some key parts were left to the imagination, shall we say. I said, "I need a dildo, and a vibrator, please."

The girl took me over to the wall where they were hanging, and I was overwhelmed. It had never occurred to me that there could be so many different types of dildos and vibrators. Ted had always chosen the dildos, and mostly it was I who used them on him, when I strapped them on and fucked his ass for him.

Sexually, Ted was a little strange. He wanted me to be the dominant one in the relationship, and he wanted to submit to me. This did not come naturally to me. But I loved Ted, and I wanted to please him, so I acted the part. I would become naked, strap on a dildo, Ted would assume the position, and I would apply some lube.

When we did it, I would sort of spoon him and rub my nipples on his back, while I fucked him. At the same time, I would rub myself, so that I enjoyed it, too. Ted had cameras set up and he made lots of movies of us doing this. I think he used to watch them when I was off working, or on a short trip to a medical convention. (I'm a doctor, as I said earlier.)

Afterwards, we would switch roles. Ted did not need a strap on: biology provided him with one. It was a nice one, too. I insisted at least one time of three that he use my pussy, not my ass, and those are the fucks that I enjoyed the most. But they were nothing like Kevin's fucks. OMG, no! The two men were different animals. Completely.

Anyway, the choice of diIdos flummoxed me. I knew the ones Ted would have liked for me to use in his ass, but I wanted one to use for my own personal pleasure, not his. I wanted dildos designed for a woman's pleasure, not for that of a gay man. I was intimidated. What to do?

The girl saw my panic. She was sweet; I think she understood. She selected three dildos and said, "These are the most popular with women. You can't go wrong with any of them."

Just then a young man appeared, coming from the back. "Come with me to the back, ma'am, and you can try them. See which one you like."

"Good idea," I said, and I followed him to the back of the store, where there were three rooms, He steered me to one in particular. I looked at him questioningly.

"This one is for the ladies. Men watch them from the adjoining rooms," he said.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I went into the room he indicated. I proceeded to take off my panties. I looked around and saw holes in the walls of the rooms. One hole was probably for a cock. I realized it must be what's called a glory hole. (I was not completely ignorant. Ted and I watched a fair amount of porn, after all.) Another hole was higher up, and was eye level.

There was no cock in the cock hole, thank goodness, but there was most certainly an eye in the eyehole! This is when it got strange. I decided to continue to undress. Why not give him something to see, I thought? This was a new dimension of myself I did not know was there! I stripped off my clothes until I was naked, so he could see all of me.

I was wet just from the reality that he was looking at my naked body. This man was a complete stranger, he was not Ted, nor Kevin, the two men who had seen me naked in all of my glory. And yet he was viewing not only my body, but my body while I stuffed myself with three different dildos. I was being amazingly outrageous!

OMG, I thought: What if he is one of my patients??? What am I doing??!?? Shit. I am an idiot. A sexually out of control idiot.

I tried out the three dildos. They were all nice, but in different ways. The man's eye was always there, watching me, and I was by now very turned on.

Then suddenly I realized this was inappropriate. All I was supposed to be doing was sampling the dildos, not putting on a pornographic display for a stranger. I was grossed out; I felt stupid.

Still naked, I left my room and opened the door to the adjoining room, the one with the eye. I was hopping mad and going to scold whoever owned that eye. There was the same guy, standing there, stroking his cock.

My anger left, replaced by my extraordinary lust. I walked into his little room, pushed him down onto the cum-stained chair, and proceeded to sit down on his cock, which instantly went all the way inside my warm, wet pussy.

I sat there naked, facing the man whose cock was now deep inside my pussy. My boobs were up against his chest. I began to fuck my heart out. I did not realize it, but I had left the door to this little tiny room wide open. The cute young tattooed woman led Mary to the back to find me. She found me all right, sitting on her co-worker's cock, humping him for all I was worth.

"The human dildo is of course the best one, but I'm afraid it's not for sale," the young woman said, giggling nervously, as I moved up and down on her colleague's cock for all I was worth. Mary laughed.

Somewhat breathlessly, I said, "Give me a little more time. Then I'll buy all three dildos, okay? Mary, can you please choose a couple of vibrators for me?" Then I moaned, as this young man's cock touched my g spot.

I heard Mary telling the girl, "Recently divorced." The girl made knowing sounds in reply.

After the young man had shot his load inside me, and I had not cum but at least I was a bit relieved. I walked to the front to buy the dildos. I was so dazed and out of it, I was truly unaware that I was naked. The young man came up with my clothes a few minutes later. I figured they would enjoy looking at the security tapes later. Or perhaps not. Different people have different taste. I never presume.

I had trouble believing these young people would even want to watch me performing sexual acts. After all, I was not a 20-something with a hard body; I was a recently divorced 42-year-old woman with a grown daughter and a demented mother. According to Mary though, I do in fact still have a hard body. But I don't trust Mary about that. Mary said something involving MILFs, but I ignored her.

Later, at home, I googled MILF. I had not even known there was such a term. I began to feel hopelessly naïve. There really is a whole world outside, waiting to be explored.

The next day I went over to Ted's new place, which was actually his partner's place. I needed someone to talk to, and I still loved Ted. I knew Ted still loved me. He just didn't love me the way a girl needs to be loved. Maybe we never had sex anymore, and maybe he had left me for another man, but he was still my soul mate. He always understood me.

"How was your date?" Ted asked.

"Fine," I said. "I doubt there will be a second one with that man, but it went fine. Thanks for asking." I gave him some of the details, even some of the most intimate ones. Ted actually got hard listening to me. What is it with people? Or maybe I should say: What is it with men?

Ted and I had a long discussion. He may not be a run of the mill heterosexual man, but he understands male culture better than I do. He knows me better than anyone. He gave me some insights.

Mary was right. Men were indeed lining up to date me after my one-night stand with Kevin. Word had gotten out that I was a sex-craved sexual aggressor. Thanks, Kevin, I thought to myself. Yes, I use sarcasm even in my own thoughts.

Hunting season opened and I took lessons. I started hunting. I went to NASCAR races. I watched sports on television. Medical school had taught me to be a quick study. Before long I could actually talk to and with the men in my county. They did not care much: They just wanted to experience a horny, sex starved, sex crazed, recently divorced woman. That was my reputation, and that's what they all got. It seemed to me that every man in the county, any age, wanted to lay me.

I had rules. No married men. No men more than five years younger than I am. And no men more than ten years older than I. That calmed things down a bit, but it still left a lot of men, each with a cock, and each with a cock that wanted to taste my pussy.

One of those cocks tasted my asshole, too. That had been Ted's favorite place anyway, so I was used to anal sex. But what I really like is pussy sex, especially when I'm taken from behind. Most men were happy to comply.