Cheap Dad

^^^January^^^

The Weaver Wagon, the name the kids gave to their parents' Toyota Sienna minivan, pulled in front of the resort lobby at around four p.m. They had driven nineteen hours, stopping only for bathroom and food breaks, since leaving Ann Arbor, Michigan the night before.

All six occupants piled out. They needed to stretch. They walked around, breathing in the warm, humid Florida air and enjoying the bright sunshine and blue sky.

The father, Dexter Weaver, had paid for the vacation. He wanted to receive the credit and their appreciation. He took a deep breath, exhaled, and said, "Isn't this great? Back home there's two feet of snow on the ground and the temperature won't get above freezing."

His daughter hugged him and said, "This is great. Thanks, Dad." The others said similar things.

The family went into the lobby.

Dexter, beaming, strutted to the front desk and said, "Hello, I have a reservation for one of your swim-up suites. Here's my reservation number." He handed the clerk a piece of paper.

His wife, Millie, looked around and said, "Wow. This is nice. Good job, Hubby." She stepped away from the front desk to admire the beautiful lobby, the fine furniture, and the large crystal chandelier hanging from the vaulted ceiling. The others were impressed too.

The clerk took the paper, typed on his keyboard, and said, "Welcome, Mr. Potchick. We have your reservation. Originally, it was for a party of four and you increased it to six. That's not a problem, the suite you booked can sleep eight. You will be here for five nights. How many keys do you need?"

"Six."

A nude couple walked into the lobby. Bart, the twenty-year-old, saw them first. He honed in on the young woman's bouncing hooters and her hairless sex.

"Psst!" he said to get the attention of his younger sister, Sally.

Sally turned his way and said sharply, "What?" She sounded annoyed. It could have been because of the long ride or the typical animosity that develops between siblings.

She saw the couple and knew why her brother had signaled her. She glanced at the good-looking nude woman and focused on the dude. The naked man was handsome. He had a shaved chest and crotch, and a healthy free swinging penis.

Their grandparents, Gary and Grace, turned and saw the nude couple. They were flabbergasted. Grace gasped. Gary protectively put his arm around her.

Millie saw the naked man and woman. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She stared in horror at their private parts, and shouted at her husband, "DEXTER! What have you done!"

Dexter turned to face his wife and saw the nude people. His eyes grew wide, his mouth fell open, and he babbled, "Homina homina homina." Sweat formed on his brow.

Millie glared at him, tapped her foot, and said, "This is another one of your money-saving schemes, isn't it?"

"I'm fine with it," Bart said, in a smart-aleck way, as he watched the rolling hips and bare buttocks of the naked blonde woman leaving the lobby.

Sally snorted and said, "Dad is so cheap. We should have guessed something was up."

Sally walked toward the front desk, grabbed her mother on the way, and said, "Mr. Clerk, what kind of resort is this?"

"This is a five-star vacation resort for adults. The entire facility is clothing-optional."

Millie leaned in and asked, "Can we get a refund?"

"No, Ma'am. It's too late to cancel your booking."

"Mom, it's clothing optional," Sally said. "You may see more than you're accustomed to, but you don't have to show anyone your private parts."

The clerk cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him, and he said, "I didn't get a chance to give you all the details."

Everyone moved closer and focused on the clerk.

He said, "No children are allowed on the premises. Dressing is optional for the hotel, the restaurants, the bars, the gym, and some recreation areas. Nudity is mandatory for the spa, swimming pools, hot tubs, and the beach.

"We have pickleball and volleyball courts. We have a putting green and a nine-hole golf course. Our guests can enjoy our hundred-acre lake by swimming, snorkeling, or in canoes and paddle boats.

"I can't go to the beach in my bikini?" Sally asked, sounding incredulous.

"No, Ma'am. We belong to the American Association for Nude Recreation and the International Naturist Federation. We support and provide a safe place for nudists to play and enjoy a natural textile-free experience with like-minded people.

"One last thing," the clerk said. He was nervous and put a finger inside his collar and pulled on his shirt collar. He said, "No one may take videos or pictures on the premises."

"So," Millie said as she stared daggers at her husband, "we can stay in our room, sit in the lobby, and get something to eat and drink, but the pool and the beach, the REASON we are here, is off limits unless we get naked?"

"Yes," the clerk said. "Our resort is not for everyone, that's why we make it very clear in our literature and advertising that we are an adult resort with mandatory nudity.

"People choose us because of our strict dress code. Might I suggest, you try it? It is freeing to experience nature in the buff and the people who embrace this lifestyle couldn't be nicer or more non-judgemental.

"Would you like your keys?" the clerk asked. He smiled and held up the keycards.

Grace was listening and fanning her face. She swooned. Luckily, Bart was behind her. He caught her and dragged her to a chair. The clerk brought over a cup of water.

Millie fussed over her mother.

"Sorry, but this is a bit much for me," Grace said. "I'm just a simple mid-western girl." She looked tired.

"Dexter, take the keys," his wife screeched. "Mom is exhausted after the long car ride. We'll spend the night and drive back tomorrow."

Gary and Millie helped Grace to stand and walked to their room. Bart and Dexter got carts and were in charge of the luggage.

Sally carped at her father. "This is another fine mess you've gotten us in."

Sally unlocked the door. The main room was nice. They had a living room and a small kitchen area. Millie waved everyone off. She took her mother into the bedroom on the right and put her to bed.

Millie returned to the central room and found everyone frowning and staring at Dexter. His wife was ready for bear. She shouted, "DEXTER! How did you not know this was a nudist resort?"

"Ah. Ah. Ah..." he stammered.

"Yeah, Dad," Sally chimed in. "The clerk said it's on the website and all their literature. They don't hide it. They're proud that people come here and walk around with their tits and pricks out!'

"Ah. Ah. Ah," he stuttered. His face was red. He was sweating and looked nervous.

"Well! Explain yourself!" Millie demanded.

"I didn't make the reservation. A guy at work booked this trip. His wife ran off with someone. Not only did she leave town, but she stuck him with a ton of credit card debt.

"His car was going to be repossessed and he was desperate for cash. The pictures he showed me were of a beautiful sunny upscale resort with a lake and heated swimming pools."

He fished the pictures out of his back pocket and held them up. "I showed you these. Nothing says nudist. They don't show any naked people."

Bart grabbed the pics and said, "This is regular paper. He made these on a color copier. He cropped the images to hide the fact that this place is for nudists."

"Dad," Sally said. She frowned, shook her head, and added "You're so cheap, when you die, you'll walk toward the light and turn it off. Didn't you realize you were being played?"

"No. He showed me his reservation and how much he paid. He had me call their 800 number and confirm that this place existed and the vacation was paid in full.

"He was in a bind and begged me to take it off his hands at half price. The deal was too good to pass up." He shrugged and looked around the room at his pissed-off family. He said, "I swear there was never any mention that this was a nudy resort."

No one gave him an understanding or sympathetic look.

He babbled on. "I thought, 'Dex, you've screwed up and let your family down many times. You can make it up to them with this trip. It'll be cold and snowy at home and your family will be thrilled to enjoy a warm sunny tropical Florida vacation.'"

He looked miserable and defeated as he said, "I thought you'd all be proud of me."

"Well, Dad, we're not," Sally said, showing no sympathy. "There's another cock up. Did you know that this suite only has two bedrooms?"

"The woman on the phone told me it can sleep eight."

Bart said, "These couches open up. They are sleeping sofas."

"Don't worry, Sally," Millie said. "You have a bed to sleep in. Grandma and Grandpa will take one of the bedrooms. You and I will take the other." The women grabbed their luggage, went into the bedroom on the left, and slammed the door.

Gary retired to his room to check on his wife.

Bart looked at his father and said, "Great. We get the living room."

The bald man sat on a sofa, sighed, and mumbled, "This wasn't the way it was supposed to go."

^^^

The grandparents rested. Sally and her mother sulked and bitched in their bedroom. Dexter zoned out watching a sports channel on the large television.

Bart came over. He saw two fit men boxing. The bell rang and instead of going to their corners, they exited the ring and sat at a table where a chess board was set up.

Each made a move and climbed back into the ring. The bell rang and they started boxing again.

"What is this?" Bart asked.

"It's called chess boxing."

"What?"

"Yeah. I've never heard of it either. It's a hybrid sport. They alternate boxing and playing chess. You win by knocking out or checkmating your opponent."

"Geez. What'll they think of next," Bart said.

He went to the patio. He slid the sliding glass door open and stepped outside. The sun and warm temperate weather felt great

The concrete patio was eight feet wide and jutted out ten feet. There were two lounge chairs. Three feet from them was a six-foot wide and five-foot deep channel that led to the main pool.

Bart said, "This is cool. You can access the pool from your patio."

He looked into the room and saw no one, except his dad watching television. He stripped and put his clothes on one of the loungers. He got into the water and made his way to the pool. He passed naked people relaxing on their lounge chairs.

He waved and said, "Hello." They waved or said hello back to him. The people he saw covered the spectrum of ages and levels of fitness.

The first pair he saw were his grandparents' age. They were friendly, had on wide-brim hats, and were chubby. They had deep tans. They lay on lounges with their legs splayed sunning themselves. The back of the chairs were elevated so he got a good view of the woman's breasts.

Her tits were big or had been big? He was confused because they were long and resembled deflated balloons. They had slid six inches down her body and were nearly even with her belly button.

Her stomach was messy. Between her paunch, sagging flesh, and a cesarean scar, there was a lot going on. He was surprised not to see any pubic hair. Her gash was on display and it appeared she didn't care if he saw it. She didn't move, close her legs, or cover it.

He wondered, "Is she so old her pubic hair fell out or does she remove it? Why would a woman her age shave her pussy? Surely this guy is not still hitting it or is he?"

Bart looked at the old guy's penis. He had a good-sized package. Like his partner, there was no hair down there. He said to himself, "If I had his equipment, I would show it off too."

Bart returned his gaze to the woman's genitals. He looked and thought, "Her pussy doesn't look different from the young coed's pussy I ate last week. "

While this was going on, Bart and the couple had a friendly chat. They had introduced themselves and asked him the usual questions: What's your name? Where are you from? Is this your first visit to a nudist resort?

Bart responded, "My Dad took over a reservation from a guy at work. We thought we were getting a welcomed break from the cold and snow of Michigan. We didn't know this was a nudist resort."

"That had to be a big surprise," the old man said and he laughed.

His wife said, "Our first time was thirty years ago. It was awkward. Now we love the nudist lifestyle. We'd be glad to talk to your parents and grandparents and show them around."

"Once we got past the initial shock," the man said. "We took to it like ducks to water."

"Emmm. I'll tell them about your offer."

Bart moved on. The next patio was empty. The one after that had two naked men his age. The guys were reclining and smoking what smelled like marijuana. They were chatty, passed something back and forth, and offered it to him. He declined, said goodbye, and moved on.

The long-haired dudes giggled as he waded away.

At the next patio, he saw a real asshole. I mean it. An asshole.

A naked MILF was rearranging her lounger. She had her back to Bart and was bent over at the waist. He saw her waxed labia and her crinkled butthole.

He was shocked, stopped, and stared. He got an erection from the intimate sight.

The woman got the chair aligned with the sun and turned to sit. She saw Bart, she saw the look on his face and put two and two together. She laughed and said, "Sorry about that. I didn't moon you on purpose."

"Ah. I'm sorry for invading your privacy and staring. That was rude of me."

She laughed again and said, "I'm naked at a nudist resort. I don't have any expectation of privacy. Staring is rude, but I'll give you a pass this time. I'm sure it was a shock to come across my big fat rear end."

"You don't have a big rear end. You're far from fat," Bart said as his eyes scanned her body. The middle-aged brunette was in good shape. She had a waist, an almost flat stomach, and a nice pair of medium size tits.

She waited and allowed him to study her body. When his eyes returned to her face she said, "That is kind of you to say. I try to eat right and exercise. I'd like to think it has the desired effect. I'm Bev. Beverly, by the way."

"My name is Bart. I just checked in. I'm staying a couple of rooms up stream."

"Care to join me? I was going to get a beer and lay in the sun."

"Ah. I'd like to but..." He looked down. He looked at her and added, "I'm not sure I'm presentable. I'm excited."

She laughed and said, "How cute! You're concerned about my honor! We're at a nudist colony! I've seen hundreds of penises the last couple of days and more erections than I can count. Your hard-on won't shock me."

She came to the edge and extended her hand. Bart said, "I never turn down an invitation from a pretty woman."

He didn't grab her hand. He outweighed her by sixty pounds. She was more likely to end up in the water than to pull him out. He hopped out. His butt landed on the concrete. He stood and faced her.

She looked at his erection and said, "Nice." She tossed him a towel and said, "Dry off. I'll get us some beers."

He dried his body and stood there holding the towel at his side. Bev returned, looked at his penis, smiled, and handed him a beer. She clanked her bottle against his and said, "To new friends."

They drank.

"How badly do you want to wrap that towel around your waist?"

"Very."

She chuckled and asked, "Why don't you?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but it didn't seem like the polite thing to do. You offered me a beer and you're allowing me to see all of you. It doesn't seem right for me to cover up."

"Thank you. That's very chivalrous of you. Sit."

They sat on the loungers, rested their backs on the backrest, sipped their beers, and chatted. Their pleasant conversation was interrupted.

"BART!"

"Someone is looking for you," Bev said. She chuckled.

"Yeah. I didn't tell anyone where I was going."

"Better get back. It sounds like your girlfriend is angry."

"I don't have a girlfriend. That's my sister." He stood, looked at the attractive women and asked, "Can I come back?"

"Sure. Invite her to join us. I'll be here for an hour and then I'll be going to the restaurant for dinner.

Bart looked down and said, "Good. My erection is gone. She'd have a fit if I had a boner. Nice to meet you, Bev."

He jumped into the water and waded toward his suite. The patio was vacant. Bart climbed out, hoping to dress and slip inside before anyone discovered that he'd been naked.

"What the Hell!" Sally shouted. She came to the doorway, looked at his penis, and asked, "Why are you naked?"

Bart turned his back to her, and slipped on his underwear, pants, and shirt. The whole clan was now standing behind Sally, waiting for an explanation

"I was bored," he said. "We drove over a thousand miles to get here. I decided to check out the pool. This channel leads there. Since it's mandatory that all swimmers be naked, I undressed.

"I didn't get far, but from what I saw the place is nice, and the people I met were nice. Everyone smiled, said hello, and were friendly"

"You were out there naked?" his mother asked.

"Yes. I didn't want to get in trouble by breaking the rules. It was weird at first, but it's warm and sunny outside and everyone else was naked. I kinda enjoyed it. It reminded me of being a carefree kid."

"And everyone could see your dick?" Sally said.

"Maybe. Most of the time I was in the water, so no one got a good look at me. As I said, it was awkward in the beginning. I got used to it. Everyone was naked so we were all in the same boat. To be honest, after you've seen a couple of naked people you stop looking at their parts.

"That's hard to believe," Grandma said.

"It's true," Bart said. He looked at his grandparents and said, "Grandma, the couple next door are your age. They have been coming here for decades. They were very nice and offered to show you around."

"Me. Walk around naked! Over my dead body!"

^^^

An hour later, the Weavers went to dinner. They were dressed. All of the staff and half the diners in the restaurant wore clothing. The hostess walked them to their table.

A woman called out, "Bart!"

The family turned and saw an attractive brunette waving. She and her tablemates were part of the fifty percent who dressed for dinner. Bart stopped at her table and said, "Hi, Bev."

Beverly stood and said, "You must be Bart's family. Why don't you join us? My kids are bored hanging out with me. I know this is Bart's first time at a nudist resort. Is the same true for the rest of you?"

The family nodded.

"Join us and I'll fill you in on the do's and don'ts so your visit is more enjoyable."

Beverly was so kind and gracious, the Weavers took her up on her offer. The staff pushed a couple of tables together.

Introductions were made. Beverly Jenkins was with her daughter, Eddie, and her son Edward. They were nineteen and twenty-one years-old, a year older than Sally and Bart.

Beverly proved to be an excellent hostess. She asked questions and kept everyone involved in the conversation. She told the story about how she and Bart met.

"If I'd had followed my father's advice about always making a good first impression, poor Bart would have been spared the sight of my cellulose-covered butt. He was a perfect gentleman and pretended to be mortified."

Her self-deprecating humor won everyone over.

She gave them a quick course on nudist etiquette. "The rules are simple. Be nice, by that I mean be polite. You can look, but don't stare. Obviously, no sex in public, and always carry a towel so you can cover any surface you sit on.

"And, the big question everyone wants answered is, 'What about erections?' We know they are going to happen. They are a natural phenomenon that guys don't always have control over. Men are given a pass for having one, but not for flaunting them.