Kate's Exhibitionist Journey
Chapter 19 - DTR
In which Kate begins to worry about her relationship with Lara, before finally managing to take another decisive step forwards.
In the weeks after my delightfully nude birthday party, I continued to see Lara as often as our schedules would allow. I was enjoying myself far too much to consider doing anything else. I'd have liked to see someone try and stop me!
Almost every weekend, I would drive all the way over to see her. And once I was there, I would spend pretty much the whole time either in the nude or being wonderfully, teasingly stripped bare. I only really bothered to get dressed if we headed out for food, or if she had any unexpected guests while I was there (after the...incident with Jenny and Paul, we made sure that my clothes were always somewhere accessible). We continued to make regular trips to the nude beach, even if the onset of autumn meant that I was starting to limit the time I spent away from my clothes and swimming in the increasingly chilly UK sea.
Despite my usual endless litany of neuroses, I found that I was worried less and less about the details or the deeper meaning of what we were doing together. Spending time with Lara, who so completely encouraged and entertained my urge to be nude and on display with her calmed that side of my personality entirely. I was content. Well, content enough, anyway.
Sometimes, when I really thought about it, I did find myself questioning exactly what was going on between us. I mean, by any metric, this wasn't exactly a 'normal' relationship. We lived three hours drive away from each other, for a start. And our weekends together just revolved around me finding some excuse (or sometimes no excuse at all!) to take my clothes off in front of this woman and submit my bare body to her eager touch.
I eventually realised that I needed to spend some time figuring things out the next time I met up with Nicole. After my unfortunate post-holiday faux pas with her, when I had invited her to my apartment and answered the door nude having completely misread the level of interest she had in our friendship continuing along that sort of path, this time we met in the more formal (and more clothed) setting of another of Nicole's favourite bars in the city. While I had some residual worries from our last evening together, we quickly fell back into our normal routine of friendly conversation. Until Nicole asked one particular, entirely casual question.
"So, are you seeing anyone?"
Um. Erm. Ah. Oh.
I managed to laugh the question off and quickly move the conversation along, and Nicole mercifully decided against pressing the matter any further. But the innocent query stayed with me, and once we said our goodbyes and I was on the Tube home, my mind predictably went into overdrive.
Was
I seeing someone? I mean, just last Sunday, I had been lying naked on Lara's spare bed, loudly and giddily moaning in satisfaction as her fingers had teased another glorious climax from within me. But...was I
seeing
her? Were me and Lara 'a thing'? Or was she really just more of a mentor to my continuing exhibitionist desires? Someone who just enjoyed teasing me when I was nude? My Simon. My...Mistress Veronica.
I mean, how did I feel about her? Well, that was a stupid question. I adored her. I adored how she accepted my confusing and contradictory needs. I adored the way that she had quickly understood my limits, but also how she looked to encourage me to go a little further with my naked exploits each time. I adored how I could now spend so many hours of my life nude, not bored by myself but thrilled by being that way around someone else. And I adored how she made me feel. Not just when her hands went to work on my soft skin, but how she made me feel in general. With Lara by my side, I no longer felt scared when I was nude, no matter what I was doing. Nervous? Sometimes. but in a healthy way. And never terrified.
I wondered how Lara thought about everything. Did she tell people about me? Had she told her friends about how she had met this new girl who liked to strip her clothes off in front of her all the time? Or was I her filthy little secret? Was she seeing other people when I wasn't there? She hadn't mentioned anything like that, but then if we weren't in a 'relationship', then why wouldn't she still be seeking some companionship? Oh god, oh no, why did the idea of that upset me so much? Why did I feel bad thinking that, as I'd been sitting in that bar with Nicole, Lara could have been out on a date with someone else? Ugh, come on, Kate.
Besides, regardless of what I was doing with Lara, I still liked men, right? That's what I'd been telling myself all this time. I glanced around the tube carriage I was in and spotted a handsome guy in a smart suit a few seats down. I liked him, I was pretty certain. I could see myself going on a date with him, maybe bringing him back to my place and tearing that suit off him in my bedroom. Except...did I really want that?
Really?
I was in such a mental tailspin that I nearly missed my stop entirely. But once I was back inside my apartment, and even though I wasn't really in the mood, I brought back the image of that hot guy from the train as I lay down on my bed, took off my underwear and began to masturbate. I pictured him here, kissing me, touching me, licking me, fucking me. In my mind, of course, he was perfect at all of it. Just the way an imaginary boyfriend should be.
But as much as I tried to focus on my sexy new imaginary boyfriend as I rubbed myself faster and faster, I found my mind drifting back to Lara. Picturing her hands on my body instead. I forced my fantasy back towards mystery tube man every time. But as I finally and breathlessly climaxed, it was to the image of Lara at my side. To the memories of her gentle touch on my skin.
What the hell?!
That was it. I had to figure this all out. I'd always known, deep down, my situation with Lara couldn't just carry on as it was forever, even if I'd wanted it to. There was a conversation that we'd needed to have for some time, even if neither of us had ever really acknowledged that it existed. We had to...define the relationship.
Ugh.
I messaged her almost immediately and hopefully invited her to London for this coming weekend. I felt like if I had to have a serious conversation with her, I wanted to do it in the comfort of my own home. I was a little surprised to find that she readily and immediately agreed to that plan and said she'd book a train right then. Tantalisingly, she then sent a second message which distracted me from all of my wider concerns about what was going on between the two of us.
Train sorted. And I've got a perfect plan for you on Saturday nite... xx
Oh god. Oh wow. What now?
My worries and fears were all forgotten in an instant. My mind was suddenly alive with all sorts of intrigue. With a cavalcade of erotic possibilities now swimming through my mind, I set about pleasuring myself all over again, and found that the second climax came far sooner than the first.
*****