Last summer when I went camping with the guys, we sat around the campfire, drinking beer and talking shit. After a couple beers, we started talking about sex, no surprise. And a topic came up that made me cringe.
"Have you ever been caught jerking off?"
"Once." I said to my buddies. "And I will never forget it."
***
When I was 18, I was sent over to my aunt's and uncle's for a weekend. They were retired and had a little farm out in the countryside near Buda (pronounced Bew-DA), Texas. My parents would send me to them every summer to help them do some yard work.
My aunt and uncle - they were nice people, but I did not know them well. We only saw them on holidays, and I just thought of them as old relations, paunchy and wrinkly, sitting on the porch, drinking ice tea, and bitching about taxes. My uncle was a big belly redneck man, balding with hair growing out of his ears. My aunt, who was my dad's eldest sister, was a tiny little old lady with big white hair. Her arthritis had made her tiny hands gnarled and bony like bird claws but she wore many rings and was constantly rubbing in hand lotion in a vain attempt to reverse the ravishes of time.
They both wore thick bifocals and were blind most of the time, squinting at their newspaper or TV set. And because they really only saw me once a year, they'd always get up close to look me up and down and go on and on about how much taller I had gotten.
I complained to my parents about this particular visit - I didn't want to go because I had my girlfriend in nearby San Marcos, and I'd rather take my girl dancing at Cheatham St. - the local country bar - on a Saturday night and end up with her heels up on my shoulders and me balls deep in her cherry pie, than clearing brush all day. But my parents insisted and reminded me that they were paying me. I needed the money to fix my car so I dutifully dragged my ass to Buda.
After a long hard day of work, I took a shower and told my uncle and aunt I was headed to bed. I stayed in the spare room which had an uncomfortable tiny twin bed parked beside my aunt's sewing machine. The room smelled dusty and old.
I looked around the miserable room, stripped to my boxers, turned off the nightstand light, and got into bed. I took out my PSP to play. My legs and feet practically hung off the end of the little twin mattress. Back at home, normally I'd be sneaking a beer and sexting with the girlfriend if we weren't doing something nasty in the back of her daddy's pick-up truck, but reception out here sucked.
I was tired and sore from all the yardwork, but at some point, I remember getting horny as all hell, so I pulled down my boxers to rub one out. I'm right handed, but I jack with my left. I was thumbing through my phone to find a particularly good photo of my girl, but I was so exhausted, I fell asleep...
... only to barely hear my uncle and aunt knock and step into the room. I was more than half-asleep and couldn't move as it dawned on me that I was naked with my hand holding my pride and joy, my 8" hard-on.
My uncle and aunt were both in their 70s and never had kids, so I'm sure they were shocked to find me like that.
I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep, taking long deep breaths. I couldn't face the embarrassment. I was hoping they'd see me lying on my back, shorts around my ankles, dick in hand, and just leave.
But no luck. They actually turned ON the night stand light for a better look. And having them stand there looking at me naked only made me harder. I resisted the urge to curl up in a ball to hide. I remained on my back, insolently showing off what my 18 year old buff body looked like. I was always an exhibitionist and loved flashing my girlfriend until she squealed with delight. I'm the guy who gets boners at the doctor's! Now, my body felt warm as if I were lying out in the sun. I could feel my cock enjoying the attention of admirers.
