Cam Girl

People sometimes wonder about those of us who work as cam girls.

"What kind of girl does that?"

"Do they really get off?"

"How much money are they making?"

And that's the sane ones. There are more than a few who have other, stranger thoughts:

"Does she love me?"

"Is there anything she won't do?"

"Isn't she ashamed?"

"Doesn't she know she's going to burn in hell?"

That last thought usually comes from the members of the clergy who are busy beating off as they watch me masturbate; they maintain their high moral ground by never paying or tipping. Oh well, what ever gets you through the night...

Let's go to some sort of beginning point. Like maybe when I hit puberty - nah, that's a little too early. Besides, I'm told that discussing anything that may have happened before I turned 18 is "verboten" on Literotica. So, let's just say this - by the time I became a legal adult, I was well acquainted with my personal erogenous zones, those of my partners (male and female) and had a fairly adventurous sex life.

Above all, I knew I enjoyed sex - when done right, of course! Some dumb ding-dong simply trying to shove his tiny pud in me before any foreplay, and then immediately cumming did not count as "doing it right." On the other hand, when a partner (again, male or female) took even a modicum of time to go down on me and make an effort to please me, I had a lot of leeway when it came to their performance. My motto - one I considered having tattooed across my belly, but below the line of my tiniest bikinis - was "make me happy and I'll return the favor."

After high school and in college, I had a wide variety of lovers, and an even larger variety of casual sex partners. I really did enjoy sex for a wide range of reasons: it felt good; it made me happy; it felt good; it made my partners happy and that felt good; and orgasms were the closest thing to heaven I figured I would ever experience. Along the way, I learned a lot about my likes and dislikes.

I didn't have too many dislikes, frankly. Ass-to-mouth was one; incompetence from my partner was another, and while I didn't hate pain, it wasn't all that high on my list of things I simply must do over and over. As a matter of fact, if some guy got into spanking my ass during sex - at least without a discussion about it - then he never got back into my good graces. Let alone my pussy!

One thing I did discover - quite by accident - was that I really liked to have an audience! It happened at a party I was attending. I arrived with my date at a house party off-campus. This was NOT a frat party - it was at a very nice home, the music in the background was jazz and jazz fusion (Weather Report was a good portion of the soundtrack for the night); everyone seemed to be in pairs.

My date was a real hunk - six-four, about 200 pounds, and since he was on the soccer team, he had a great body! Toned all over, with great muscle definition. The female definition of hot. Not only that, but he had a cock that was above average and a knowledge of how to use it that didn't come from porn. We'd been dating for about a month, and we loved to love, if you catch my drift.

As the evening went on, the atmosphere slowly shifted. The distance between people seemed to decrease - and it wasn't because of overcrowding. People were physically connecting; women were leaning into men, and men were responding. We were doing the same thing, actually, sparked by a few drinks.

I remember how I was pressed up against his side, pressing my boobs into his body and rubbing my cooch on his leg. His hand came around my shoulder and onto my boob at one point and he began to caress it. Not only was I responding (my nipples grew hard, my pussy got moist) but I saw eyes in the room turn in our direction and when that happened it was as if a switch got flipped somewhere deep inside. I experienced a level of arousal I'd never felt before. I liked being watched! Or did I?

I shifted my position a bit, sliding across his body with my back against him. I could feel his hardening cock press into the crack of my butt - I loved it. I took his other hand and brought it to my other breast so he had one in each hand, squeezing and caressing them. My pussy felt like it was wired!

"You're being very demonstrative," He whispered in my ear.

"I know. I love it. Are you seeing how people are watching us? How they look at what your hands are doing, then they look at my face, and then back? Can you see the bulges growing in the men's pants? I'm turning them on and that's an incredible rush!"

"And the women are staring daggers at you - like you're stealing their men!" He observed, thrusting his pelvis forward and pressing his now erect cock into me.

"That's their problem. Their men can only look. But they can look all they want. I want them to. I want to watch them drool over what you do to me. I want to see them get hard and play with themselves. Lift up my shirt and bra and play with my naked boobs. Watch them react as you do it!"

He didn't need urging. His hands worked under my shirt and he pulled it over my head, then he reached down into my bra and lifted my boobs out of is so they rested on the fabric. I'm not the most well-endowed woman on the planet, but at 36D he had handfuls of flesh to play with.

The hardest part was keeping my eyes open to watch my watchers. He was so good at finding new sensations in my boobs that I really wanted to close my eyes and feel them, but I was finding a new pleasure in watching the cocks straining against their confines and knowing it was because of me.

I eventually unhooked my bra and unzipped my jeans. I pushed them and my panties down and stepped out of them to stand naked in a crowd of fully dressed men and women. I felt like a river was gushing out of my pussy, although looking back it was simply my way of describing a new level of my own arousal. As his one hand continue to draw pleasure from the boob it had, the other made its way between my legs.

I spread them to allow him access, and it was now even tougher to keep my eyes open. But it was amazing. I was the center of attention and it was exhilarating! Women were reaching for their men, all the while with their eyes glued to my body. The men reacted in different ways as hands found their dicks. Some were surprised and kept watching. Some closed their eyes and surrendered to being manipulated.

I reached behind me and unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his pants and started to pull them down. His hands left my body briefly and I simply stood there, legs spread and showed them all what a horny woman looked like. I heard his pants fall, and then felt the burning spear of his dick in the crack of my ass. I pushed back against it and wedged it between my cheeks. Reluctantly I pulled away and turned to face him.

"Lie on the floor. On your back." I commanded and watched as he obeyed. And then, eyes on my observers, I sank onto my knees, my pussy just above his throbbing cock.

"Do you like what you see?" I asked the room. There were murmurs of ascent.

"Then watch as I fuck him." And with that I let his cock inside me and dropped until our crotches met. I heard a gasp in the room. I began to ride his dick, all the while looking at the faces of those who kept watching me. Their eyes never met mine - they looked at my boobs bouncing, so I caressed them. They looked at our crotches meeting and I exaggerated rolling my hips. My body felt electrified and I began to jerk and twitch as I began to cum.

The hard part, like before, was keeping my eyes open as orgasm after orgasm rolled through me. I watched my watchers and their eyes were glued to my body, adding to my pleasure. And, as you might suspect, at least one single dork thought he could get in on the action, so with his tiny dick jutting out from his jeans he moved closed enough to grab my boobs. That was when he got a fist in his balls. He cried out and I heard a murmur from the room.

"No respect gets no respect. You all can look but you can't touch. I'm not your girl, your toy, your slut or your whore. You want to get off - find a friend. I'm just here to show you how to do it right!" With that, I appeared to have opened the flood gates for sexual participation of all sorts. Hell, even tiny-dick was soon engaged in it - just not with me! That was the night I learned that I simply loved to show off! I loved having all the attention. I loved the power I obviously had to arouse. It added another dimension to my life and soon I was hunting out places where I could experience it.

My boyfriend soon grew tired of it, however. He offered up some lame excuse, but I never really understood it. It wasn't a size issue - he was nicely hung - and it took me a long time to realize what really had him leave. I was using him. I'm neither proud nor ashamed of it, now. Turns out that men want more than just sex - as strange as it seems, given all the porn and erotica (and of course, my camming) that is geared towards spewing spunk. Turns out that when they feel like they're being used - that it could be anyone in their place as long as it was public, or that they aren't valued as more than a sex toy, they also get hurt and hang their heads. And, of course, those of us who are the ones doing it wonder about what was wrong with them - until we wake up and realize how damned demeaning it was for them. Often, as it was for me, it was many years and partners later before I woke up.

But rather than dragging you through my mental mire, I better get back to describing life as a sex object, since I know that at least some of you want more of the "good stuff" so you can stay hard and get off.

Well, don't you? The good news is this - I'm all for it! I'm even a bit of an expert in building hard-ons and going for the goo! After all, it's how I make a living, and I'm doing a job I love. That's right, I love performing on camera (or live with an audience) because I love the power of it. If I tease you with glimpses of pale, pink flesh that wiggles and jiggles; if I caress my tits over my shirt as you watch; if I stick my hand into my panties and finger fuck myself the tips come flooding in. Soon my virtual cash register is dinging away and at the same time I'm getting more and more aroused.

Some of you love to see how my panties get wet as I play with myself. The wetter the better according to my digital dollar counter. Then when I pull them into my twat, dividing my lips with wet cloth, you get even hotter and more generous while I get closer and closer to my first orgasm. It's at that point that my rock-hard nipples poke at my shirt and I stop to play with them, delighting in squeezing and twisting them, happy as requests for private sessions now mount. All the while I'm edging towards orgasm and my audience must be busy stroking their hard dicks. And, from time to time, fingering their gushing pussies!

By now, my audience is dying to see me naked. They want to know what those nipples really look like. What color are they? What about the dark circles of flesh around them (One out of ten know they are the areolae - the rest either don't know or simply never let me know they do)? I begin to flash flesh, raising my t-shirt to show the rounded bottoms of my tits. I pull it tight and mash the tit-flesh and nipples, hidden behind the fabric. That's a move that regularly moves from teaser to private session.

So now, with a big load of digital dollars in my account, it's time to take the big spenders into a more private world. I go private with those who pay the most. It can be one, two, twenty or more - I don't really care, but since I enjoy showing off as much as the sex, my aim is for at least double-digit attendance. The best I have ever done was triple digits a few times. It's where I gained most of my loyal followers, since the shows I tend to put on in front of larger numbers are displays of depravity designed to get me off in major ways!

In case you're wondering, here's how I do it. I don't know if I'm "typical" or if I'm unique, and don't really much care. But once we go private, I play to the camera and the eager strokers behind it. First, I get close to the lens and welcome them. Then, leaning forward, I pull back slowly so they get to look down my blouse and begin to see the tits they've been anxiously awaiting. Depending on the shirt they may get to see my nipples right away, but usually I prolong their display.

Still leaning forward, still showing off my tits, I reach under the t-shirt and they can now see my hands on my boobs. That's usually when I'm willing to close my eyes and just enjoy the feelings. After all, I know every sensitive spot of my body, and my tits have plenty! Them seeing me enjoying it gets the tip bell ringing, and the little device inserted in my cunt begins to buzz, adding to the joy.

Finally, when the money slows down, I work the shirt over my head. I start by sitting back on my haunches and let my viewers look at the D cups with their prominent nipples and dark areolae; if that doesn't bring in money then I move to playing with my fun bags.

Don't you just love that name?

Sometimes I squeeze them. Hard! Sometimes I lift them and offer them to my viewers. I love the feelings my hands deliver stroking the top of them but that doesn't seem to appeal to the cash customers. They want nipple punishment and I'm happy to oblige them, actually. The sensitive nerve endings in my nipples demand attention! It's here that I've actually studied porn - I wanted to find out what they want to see. So, if I see a new way to play, I'll try it and see what reaction I get.

Remember, all this time I'm still getting more and more aroused, knowing I have an audience that loves to see me. I know both intellectually, and from comments, when they are rock hard and when they cum. I love the sense of power that gives me, as much as I love stroking my clit. Speaking of which, that's coming up (pun intended) shortly. But first, since I'm all alone, I need a way to keep my nipples aroused while my hands head to other places. While I was trying to figure out how to keep them stimulated, I tried nipple clips and clamps. Remember I said that pain wasn't high on my list of favorites? Well, there are exceptions to every rule - and my nipples now crave the sensations. So, I use clips or clamps. I have a growing collection of devices to use - as well as a good supply of lotions and potions to care for them.

It's almost guaranteed that while I attach them, I will get a wide range of comments. When I first did it, I said to myself that they justified the pain. Now, I don't really give a shit about cause and effect and have no need to justify it. Their delicious pain gets me off. That gets my customers off - and, in turn, puts money into my account - and I get higher and closer to really cumming hard. Plus, I've now freed up my hands, and that means its time to pay attention to my pussy.

I stay shaved - it was initially a pain in the butt, but now that it's a habit, it's no big deal. If needed, I'll get a wax job and be bald, but usually just shaving after a wax keeps me bald and clean for a long time. So, one hand works down my belly and under my pants. And yes, after a while I will pull it out and suck on my fingers. I love the taste of pussy in general, and of them my own is high on my favorites. Making a show of sucking them clean usually gets a good response. As does losing my panties and leaning back to show my bald kitty on the camera.

And I do all the things you see in porn - I stroke and caress my lips; I spread them and show off the inner walls; I tickle my clit. As long as the digital dough is coming in, I'm happy to keep going. I know my audience is as well; the little buzzer I wear inside is going almost non-stop. If you never watched cam girls, we all insert a wireless viber in our twats. I don't know who decided they should be hot pink, but it really doesn't matter, I suppose. Money coming in causes the circuits to close (or what ever they do) and send vibrations into the device. And they, in turn, buzz and vibrate in me.

Are you able to picture this? Are you able to get a sense of how it is for me? I'm getting paid to let you watch me surrender to sexual feelings; you as the viewer actually have a hand in helping me maintain my arousal, and, on top of that, I'm such a twisted cunt that I'm getting off picturing you getting off watching me - and we're still just beginning!

Depending on the numbers watching, I've done some wild stuff. I've obviously got a selection of dildoes and toys of all sorts, since we play to all sorts. There are those who want me stuffed full of monster-sized dildoes and I have some for that. There are those who want to see my ass swallow butt plugs and dildoes - I have sets just for that, since, as I told you, ass-to-mouth isn't on my lists. My latest additions to my repertoire and even more perverse.

First, I finally was able to buy a Symbian. If you've never seen one, google it. The person who designed and built it worked with a lot of women to create what you might call the ultimate vibrator. First off, there's a set of controls, not just an on-off switch. There's a piece that your clit lays on, and attachments for both pussy and anal penetration. Each is on a separate control, and combinations of twisting, vibrating, spinning and buzzing is extensive. Naturally, my audience wants to see everything set at maximum, and that's usually the last part of a private show because I'm pretty much a pulsing blob of wet, juicy sex at that point. And I have used just one or two stimulating points from time to time. All get me off. My getting off gets my customers off. My customers getting off adds to my pleasure - it's also known as a feedback loop in some circles. In any case, it's more than earned back the money I spent to buy it.

A more recent addition is from the extreme sites. Some twisted fuck imagined a mechanical fuck toy and started a craze of building them. I can vary the size of the dildoes I attach, and also vary the depth and speed of the fucking. For some reason, the one that gets the most attention is when I'm using a big cock model and letting it fuck my ass. Guys want to see big cocks plunging deep into asses, and I'm happy to oblige since it not only gets me off but fattens my bank account.

Any way you look at it, I'm doing all right. Yeah, there's that inner voice that came from childhood about what's good and proper and moral that once in a while shows up, but it's mostly quiet. There are times when I wonder if I'll ever get into a relationship with a man, but when that happens, I have ways around it - from altering my consciousness to simply turning up the speed on whatever device I'm playing with. I doubt any guy will ever be able to compete with how I'm now able to get off.

So far, I've been at this for two years and put away enough money to fund four years of college. I'll be at this a little longer, since I know I'll have to pay rent, buy groceries and clothes, and so on, when I finally start school. I just wonder if I'll be able to leave this all behind - or will I ever be able to simply have sex one-on-one. Then again, who says I need to? However, it works out, I'm about ready to go online tonight; any more thoughts about the future will have to wait.

Final room check - dildoes and butt plugs clean and handy, lube and creams close at hand, clean bed sheets on, machines all plugged in and prepped. And the clock is about to hit the hour, so...

"Hello. How are you tonight? Who is with me?"