I already had a dog; I just needed to buy one of those red and white collapsible canes and a pair of dark glasses. Only, I needed to buy a pair of those totally dark glasses that wrap around the sides of my eyes like the old people wear when they have a cataract operation. The Ray Bans that Ray Charles wore and that Stevie Wonder wears would not work because they could see my eyes peeking out the sides and would immediate realize that I am not blind. I ordered the cane and dark glasses on the Internet and had them rushed shipped for next day delivery.
I put on the dark glasses and tried out the cane as soon as I got them. Suddenly, I thought of the blind Master Poo in Kung Foo and thought about all the things that pretending to be blind could do for me, such as, filing as blind with the IRS at tax time. Boy that would save me big bucks. Now, I couldn't wait to turn sixty-five-years old for another exemption, one for myself, one for being blind, and one for being sixty-five, although, sixty-five was many years away. Of course, I'd have to prove that I was blind, somehow.
Let's see, what else could I do when pretending to be blind? Oh, I know. I could accidentally on purpose walk in to a woman's restroom instead of a men's restroom. It would be great to try that at the public pool, walking in to the women's dressing room instead of the men's dressing room because as soon as you turn the corner, you are in the women's showers and all the lovelies are standing there naked. Only, with my luck there will be a bunch of fat, old women who would not cover their nakedness. Let me think, what else could I do when pretending to be blind? I could strip naked in front of a woman pretending that I did not know she was in the room with me. Also, being blind would get me in line first at restaurants and movies, well, maybe not movies.
The only fly in the ointment was my dog, a twenty pound Rat Terrier and not the typical 80 pound German Shepard or Retriever. Still, with a little patience and lots of dog cookies, I could train Polo to pretend to be my blind guide dog. I bought Cesar Millan's Dog Whisperer's video and his book and watched and read that. I was ready to totally train my terrier, I hope.
I bought one of those dog harnesses at the pet store that the blind people strap on their dogs to control them and for the dog to lead them. I had the hand holder extended to arm's length because since my dog was a low rider compared to the Shepard and Retrieve. I looked ridiculous pretending to be blind and leaning down to hold the dog by a too low hand holder or holding the dog by a leash. Those other dogs, the Shepherds and Retrievers, are twice as tall as my dog. Yet, my Rat Terrier should suit my purpose.
I was ready to dress the part. I dressed in a pair of unmatched socks, one red and the other blue and I wore green pants with a purple shirt. I figured if they did not believe that I was blind, they would at least think me color blind.
I donned my dark glasses, harnessed up the dog, and grabbed my cane. Oh, yeah, step aside and watch out for the blind man because here I come.
"Look out! Blind man walking. Look out! Blind man walking."
It was great to watch everyone move out of my way on the sidewalk. Once I mastered the tap, tap, tap of the cane, I did not have to yell out, "Look out! Blind man walking." I just whacked them with my cane if they did not move out of my way fast enough. No one is going to hit a blind man, I hope.
I slowly made my way up the flight of stairs to the office where they were conducting the interviews tap, tap, tapping my cane as I went while humming Georgia On My Mind. A woman in front of me on the stairs somehow accidentally on purpose entangled my cane under her short flared skirt. Honestly, I do not know how that happened. I was so embarrassed for her. In trying to free my cane, I raised her skirt up to the middle of her back and allowed the cane to slowly slide between her legs. Oops.
"Hey," she screamed and turned in my direction. Too late, I had already had a nice peek of her thong covered ass. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said when she saw that I was blind. She held her skirt down with her hands and stepped aside to let me ascend the rest of the stairs. As I was climbing the stairs I was thinking how cool it would be to hide a small camera somewhere on my dog's back to record up skirt videos.
Finally, when I reached the top, I asked someone for directions to room 224, which was directly in front of me. I opened the door and stepped inside. Not only was I the only sightless person applying for this job, I was the only man. There were half dozen women waiting to be interviewed ahead of me.
"May I help you," said a bright and cheery pretty girl of about 22-years-old.
"Yes, I am here to apply for the position as Proctor."
"But," she said giving me an uncomfortable smile. I smiled, threw my head back, and swayed side to side giving her my best Stevie Wonder impersonation. "The job is for the woman's dormitory."
"Yes, I know that," I said smiling and swaying. "Why should that matter?"
"But," she said smiling again and lowering her voice almost to a whisper. "You are a man."
"Are you discriminating against me because I am blind?"
"Oh, no, of course not, this school is an equal opportunity employer but—"
"Then, I do not understand why you will not give an interview to a sightless person."
"I'll get my supervisor." She picked up the phone and punched in an extension number. "Please have a seat. It will only take a moment."
I sat across from three women wearing short skirts who when they realized that I was blind, obviously with my dark glasses, white cane, and somewhat of a guide dog, they relaxed their postured, uncrossed their legs, and practically sat like a guy would sit with their legs spread apart. One had an itch on her upper thigh and she raised her skirt to scratch. I was in panty Heaven. I think that I am going to like this job. I hope I get it.
"Yes, hi, I have a gentleman applying for the position," said the receptionist talking to her supervisor, no doubt. "No, I cannot ask him to leave. Yes, of course, I know that the position is for a women's dormitory but he said that we are discriminating against him if we do not interview him." Even though, she knew that, as a sightless person, I could not see her, she smiled in my direction before muffling her voice. Still, I was blind or, at least pretending to be blind, I was not deaf. "He's blind," she whispered in the receiver of the phone.
It was then that I realized a strange thing happened. Suddenly, maybe because I was wearing dark glasses indoors but my hearing seemed amplified. I wondered if this is what happens to sightless people, one sense compensates more for the loss of the other.
"Can someone direct me to the men's room please?"
A pretty woman in her mid to late twenties from across the way, got up from her seat and came over to me.
"There is not a facility for men on this floor," she said.
"Take him to the ladies room," said another. "What does it matter? It isn't like he can see anything."
"Well, you have a point there," said the woman escorting me.
She took my hand, placed it on her arm, and escorted me to the ladies room.
"Upon entering, a woman stood at the sink in her panties while holding her skirt and blotting at a stain with a wet paper towel. The stain was on the front of her panties, too. She must have spilled her coffee in her lap making her panties practically transparent. I could see her dark, bushy pubic hair. She quickly wrapped her skirt around herself.
"He needs to use the facilities," she whispered to the woman and waved a hand at her. "It's okay, he's blind."
The woman at the sink removed her skirt again and continued working on the stain as if I wasn't there. I pretended that I did not hear the conversation that she had with the woman. I walked to the sink, unzipped myself, pulled out my cock, and gave them my best Mr. Magoo impersonation, as I was about to pee.
