Author's note:
I took a short break from the multi-chapter
New England Triad
series
(N.E.T.)
to write this standalone short story. Here I'm trying for a lighter and more comic tone. The action here takes place somewhere in New England (okay: Hartford County, Connecticut) a few months after the end of
N.E.T.'
s action. Some characters appear in both works. You do not need any familiarity at all with
N.E.T.
to understand this new story. I hope you also enjoy it.
-- Peter
************
The university's graduate program in English was small. Most of the students seemed to be wives of professors in other departments or wives of business executives in the area--never husbands. Plus a handful of idealistic young men and women in their twenties who were hoping, against all odds, to build a career as a college professor. Probably none of us was going to set the academic world on fire, but graduate students were almost always a delight to teach.
Much graduate work in English here was done as independent-study projects. Which is why a charming, very smart, and very pretty natural-blonde twenty-something and I were alone in my office late Friday afternoon, poring over the Oxford edition of Jonathan Swift's poetry. Bette Schneider her name was, and she often liked to tease people about her German background.
"But
Herr Doktor Professor
Lancome," she was saying, "even allowing for..."
I interrupted, teasing back. "That's '
Herr Doktor Associate-Professor
Lancome,'
Fraeulein
Bachelor-of-Arts Schneider!"
She smiled engagingly. "How about if I just call you Stephen?"
Flirting with an undergraduate would be an insane risk for a professor these days. Even flirting with graduate students had gotten dicey. But small sparks had been flying between Bette and me for a year, and I felt comfortable enough with her to take a chance now. I smiled back.
"That would be fine, Bette. In private."
"Got it."
Bette's brain was as fine as her body. She saw that the details of a fashionable woman's excrement in "The Lady's Dressing Room" had to be seen through shifting layers of irony and social criticism and also through a narrator who clearly is not Swift himself. And yet, and yet... even allowing for all that, wasn't there something just a little
odd
and unsettling in the language here? Would you bet any money that Swift
didn't
have some kind of problem with women?
"I think you're right, Bette," I said. "There
is
something unsettling in this poem, and it's hard to put your finger on exactly what it is or exactly where it's located. Might make a nice research project, trying to pin it down, if you're interested. I don't know if feminist theory might be helpful here. Mary Ellen Spivak might have some good suggestions if you feel like pursuing that angle."
Bette looked up from the notes she was jotting--looked at me as though I had said something wise and immensely helpful. Which I was fairly sure I hadn't.
Our conversation drifted away from Swift and onto personal matters--another thing you could do with graduate students that you'd hesitate to do with undergraduates. Undergraduates were too apt to misinterpret all familiarity as the first stage of sexual harassment--"grooming behavior" or something.
But the graduate students had lived long enough--and had gotten comfortable enough with their own sexuality--that they could tell casual conversation from flirting from harassment. They enjoyed the first of the three and sometimes the second too.
By now it was late in the afternoon, 4:30. Bette and I both could see that the chances were low of any more wise insights about literature flowing from either of us. But we were enjoying each other's company.
A small ornamental pin on Bette's sweater again caught my attention. It was a silver disk about the size of a nickel. A bas-relief image of what looked like a three-bladed propeller filled most of the disk. Between the tip of each blade and the edge of the disk was a small hemispherical cavity. A fourth small cavity was in the center.
"Tell me about your pin," I invited. "It looks vaguely familiar. I think I've seen one or two like it on people from time to time. Maybe with little jewels above the propeller tips. What's it mean?"
Bette looked uncomfortable and relieved at the same time. "Uh, yes, Stephen. That's part of the reason I asked for a conference today."
I swiveled my desk chair to face her. I crossed my legs, laced my fingers together and raised my eyebrows, silently inviting her to go on (while looking professorial to the max). My gaze shifted among her blue eyes, the pin, and that sweet, high, Teutonic bosom on which the pin perched. The nipples had to be pink, I judged. She is a very beautiful young woman, I judged. With a very impressive brain. Just my type, except for being about ten years too young. I was 39. According to her records, she was 25.
"There's an organization I've recently gotten involved with," she said. "It's called Lodestone. It's hard to describe. It's for adult women--you have to be at least 23.