Bess Armstrong

In 1958 Bess Armstrong was 18 years old. She lived in a small town in the mid-west. It was one of those towns that had one of everything, one police station, one main street, one library, one public school, the type of place where nothing really happens and life seems stalled in a mundane limbo. Bess really hated it there, she felt like she just didn't fit in. In school she was teased by the other kids for being to studious, and not liking the things that they liked. At home her older brother teased her for much the same reasons and bullied over her to get his way.

Bess was a shy girl, the type that preferred her own company to that of others. She spent most of her time reading and studying or tending to the little garden at the back of her parents house. As a result of that her homework was always done on time and her grades always remained at a stable high. The kids at school hated her for this, they teased and made fun of her constantly, often going out of their away to shun her company. At home Bess faced the same abuse from her older brother, Jason. He was 20 and viewed his little sister much as a dog might view a chew toy. He bullied her about, making her do his work for him and commanding her to fetch this and clean that without a word of gratitude. All these things pushed Bess further and further into herself.

One of the main things that bothered her were her looks. She felt she had a plain face, that she was far too thin to be attractive and that her breasts were too small. In reality though she was quite pretty, in an un-glamorous, everyday sort of way. She was thin that was true, and her breasts in keeping with her body were small and pert yet they suited her well. She and long dark hair that she liked to tie at the back in a ponytail and a shy smile she reserved for special occasions.

Her insecurities were born from the crude remarks the other kids made about her. Jason at one time had even spread a rumor around school that she was really a boy on account of her small breasts. That was the first time Bess had really felt conscious about her breasts. From then on she constantly compared herself with other girls, wishing that she had the kinds of curves they had.

That summer however, the summer of 1958, a change took place in her. It happened as such. One afternoon, in search for some peace and quiet Bess was taking a long walk through the nearby woods. It was the second week of school holidays and she was already finding herself with a significant lack of things to do. As she walked along listlessly, she heard a voice shouting close by. She knew that voice, it was the voice of the PE instructor at school, Mr. Henderson.

Curious as to what he was doing out here she made her way towards where the voice had come from. As she got closer she heard more voices and the sounds of splashing and running. She had known that the lake was around there somewhere, and in fact she had been looking for it, but the sound voices had now put her off a little. Still she was curious.

She tiptoed further, not wanting to be heard or seen and soon found herself behind a thick bush, from which she peered out. What she saw made her jaw drop. At first she couldn't even comprehend it, she just stared blankly at the figures moving around before her. There was couch Henderson standing at the edge of the water in his shorts with his whistle hanging around his neck just like in school, and in front of him there were six young men standing absolutely naked.

It was obvious that Mr. Henderson was giving summer classes out in the lake, and at that moment was explaining something to his pupils, but that was really something that Bess would figure out a little later. For the moment she just stared, eyes wide and mouth hanging half open at the sight of six naked young men standing before her. The young men were all from her school, most of whom she knew. There was Jake, Rodger, Tim and Stew who were in the same class as her and Mike and Stan who were a few years ahead of her. Bess had never really spoken to the two older young men but she had seen them around school often. Now they were all standing in front of her as naked as they could possibly be.

Bess ducked back into the bush and for a brief transitory minute considered turning back and walking away. She was trespassing here, spying on things she clearly wasn't supposed to see, invading on other peoples privacy. That thought however was soon overpowered by others, chief among those being that she had never really seen a boy or a man naked before. The times being what they were she had little access to any sort of material that would have educated her on the subject and so she had only a general idea of what males looked like "down there". Now not only had she the opportunity to see several naked young men at once but also the added bonus of seeing her class mates without their clothes on. The same people who had ignored her and been rude to her, the same people whom she had secretly been jealous of for their popularity and Rodger, the boy she had had a crush on all though the previous year. No, she could not contain herself, she tried but she couldn't. The urge to look was too strong, and so embarrassed as she was she peered out of the little bush once again.

To her surprise she stayed there all afternoon, her eyes glued to the scenes before her. She watched as the young men swam and dived and ran and talked, studying their bodies with a lewd excitement that filled her stomach with butterflies. The four younger young men were of average build, not lean or fit but not fat either. They had little to no hair chests and only a light dusting of it on their genitals, Tim in-fact was completely bald between his legs. Their penises were roughly the same size, about 2-3 inches long with little pink heads at the end of them. Their balls were these tight sacks that bulged out from behind their penises like tiny fruit hanging from a tree.

The older young men were in slightly better shape, their chests were firmer and Bess could make out the muscles in their arms and legs as they moved. They had a thicker crop of hair on their bodies, especially on their genitals, which were slightly bigger than those of the younger young men. At one point when Mike rushed across the edge of the lake to catch up with the others, she gawked at how his "bits" jiggled about as he ran. Then burst out into series of little giggles imagining how odd it would be to have things swinging about between her legs.

Her attention though was unequally focused on Roger. She still had feelings for him, she thought about all the times she had stared at him in class or thought about him at home, alone in her room. The times she had wanted him to talk to her and notice her. Seeing him like this made her blush, it made her feel in a way more intimate with him. She now knew what kind of a boy he was under his clothes, she knew he had a mole on his left shoulder, that his bum was soft and chubby and that his penis was slightly thicker than those of his classmates.

Yet this intimacy was one sided. She, from the safety of her woodland bower got to see all that he had to offer. She saw all the delicate and private parts of his body, parts that no other girl would have yet seen ; and she saw them all for free!

She pondered to herself that, even if she had been his girlfriend or wife (something she had actually long dreamed off) she would have had to get naked long with him and let him see her as well. The very thought of it unnerved her, she felt utter uncomfortable just changing in front of girls. To be naked in front of a boy was unimaginable, having him see every inch of her with nowhere to hide. She didn't think she could or would ever do that. So this situation suited her perfectly, she saw all she could possibly want to see without ever having to reveal anything herself.

The afternoon passed faster than she would have liked it too and soon Bess found herself walking home in the deep yellow light of the setting sun. As she walked she played out the events of that afternoon over and over in her mind and each time they sent a spark of excitement through her body. She could barely focus on anything else that evening and at night she stayed up in bed picturing naked young men running about her. She didn't masturbate though, those were not the times when a woman did, or even knew how to do such a thing. Instead Bess just lay there, her body fluttering and tingling all over.

The next day Bess went back, but sadly found the lake empty. She returned home rather disappointed and wondered if the lesson was just a one time thing. She hoped it wasn't. Days past and she kept returning back to the lake each afternoon in hopes of seeing them again, she was like a stray dog, who after being fed once returns back to the same spot again and again in hopes of another meal.

It didn't take her long however to figure out that the swimming lessons were conducted each Monday and Friday afternoon. All it took was a few innocent, yet strategic questions asked to the right person which in this case was Mrs. Thompson, Jake's mother.

Bess ran into her accidentally at the grocery store and in the midst of a mundane conversation asked about Jake's swimming. She felt so embarrassed and awkward about it though that she excused herself soon after leaning what she wanted and rushed out of the store into the back alley. Here, well hidden amongst the dust bins and boxes she turned a bright red and listened to her heart beating anxiously in her chest. She couldn't believe she had actually done that, she kept wondering what Mrs. Thompson would say if she new that Bess had been spying on her son.

After this Bess went to the lake each Monday and Friday afternoon. She hid in the same spot and watched the young men swimming and practicing. If she got there early she could even see the young men undressing. It was an odd and exciting experience the first time she saw this. Though she already knew what the young men looked like naked there was a certain thrill in watching the unbutton their shirts, and slide down their pants. Often they'd stand around in their underwear and since half of them wore briefs Bess laughed to see how comical they looked standing about in little white shorts with a slight bulge in the front.

Once the crotch of Tim's briefs had slipped to the side half of his penis was oddly hanging out from the corner. The sight was so comical to Bess that she had to bite her tongue in order not to make a noise. It just looked so silly to her to see him falling out of his shorts. She wondered if all young men had that problem and once again mused at how weird it would be to have a penis.

The weeks passed and Bess learned more and more about the male anatomy. She saw what muscles moved when they stretched, how cute their bums looked when they clenched, how their penises swayed from side to side when they walked, how when they laid down some of their penises fell between their legs while others lay on their abdomens. Bess saw things that no other girl her age would ever have been privileged to see, she saw every working of the male body. From the things that excited to things that just made her burst out laughing.

One such key incident was when she saw a boy urinating for the very first time. It was Stew, who looking for some privacy had ironically come near the bush where Bess was hiding. At first she was so scared that she had been discovered that she almost ran, but luckily for her the same fear had left her so utterly paralyzed that she couldn't move. So she crouched there barely breathing as Stew walked up and stood against a nearby tree. He aimed himself at the trunk and a few seconds later began to pee. Bess bit her lip, she couldn't help wondering what Stew would think if he knew she was watching him right now. After finishing he shock his penis vigorously, trying to get out the last drops and then went back to the others.

Relaxed now, Bess allowed herself to smile. She had always wondered how young men peed, and now she had seen it first hand. In truth however as much the incident had amused her it also disgusted her. She couldn't help thinking how vulgar it was to urinate like that outdoors. She knew she could never do such a thing, in fact she felt sure that no girl ever would. It was just something that the young men would do because, as she put it "they were like that". This was perhaps the first seed in Bess's mind that would later result in her believing that women were far more superior to men, but really that's another story.

The swims at the lake and opened up a whole new world for her, now each time she saw a boy or a man she couldn't help wondering what he would look like naked. Anytime she saw a male she noticed how firm his chest looked, how broad his shoulders were, how his bum looked through his pants and wondered what his penis would look like. Even at home she began to wonder what her brother Jake looked like naked, or her neighbours or her cousins or the mailman.

It wasn't that she was attracted to this people, it was just that she was curious to see what they looked like, what difference they had from other men. What was bigger or smaller, longer or shorter, firm or flabby. That was really her awakening, the time when she was introduced to the world of male bodies.