Thanks for checking out my Nude Day story (1 of 2!) None of the characters are based on real people. All right reserved. Yadda, yadda, yadda. A vote or a comment (Ideally both...) would be appreciated. Enjoy!
Bare Naked Ads (A
Nude Day
story)
I asked Joan if she had gotten the latest epistle from our management 'team'. The term team implied we had some partnership or say in what was said which was not always the case. I always felt it was more like "You can have your say as long as it agrees with what I have said." Of course, it wasn't too bad compared to other dictatorships. The public pillories and stocks had been put away and there was coffee. In the pay vending machines.
"Indeed I did! A call for creative advertising venues and the need for new clients. I kind of wondered if that meant our current clients were on to the fact that we were recycling old ideas in new coverings." She and I usually had the same interpretation of corporate speak. We even played 'cliche bingo' during some of the teleconference calls we had endured during the pandemic.
I chuckled. "Yes, that and an influx of new money is needed to show our investors we make money. But, you know, I actually had a couple of thoughts. I'd like to run them past you. Maybe over drinks after work? Fewer ears around, not that I'm worried about any coworkers stealing an idea..." I shifted my eyes back and forth as I peered over the cubicle wall that separated our two desks. I figured I kind of looked like Kilroy from the old "Kilroy was Here" graffiti.
"Sounds good. Meet you at the Speakeasy about 5:30? I need to pick something up at the store not far from there." She turned and went back to her screen and I slithered down my wall into my cubicle.
I had wrapped up my most recent project and really didn't feel like starting a new one this close to the end of the day, so I was clearing our mail and browsing a couple of news feeds. Not real news feeds, more like 'News of the Weird' and 'Offbeat stories'. Usually good for a chuckle, but sometimes the germ of an idea. That's what triggered my idea for new clients in a new venue, one that had been untapped.
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I went straight to the bar after work and got a table. It wasn't a particularly noisy bar, but enough background noise to feel sociable. Especially if there was a ballgame on, and there was. Someone was beating the Mets, so there were some groans and general agreement that they sucked.
Joan joined me as I had ordered a second gin and tonic which gave me a bit of the courage to lay out my off the wall idea. I got up from my chair and greeted my coworker as she came over. "Hi Joan - glad you made it. I figured you wanted your usual, so I ordered. One white wine and a glass of water."
"Thanks! I appreciate this! So... you have an idea to run up the flagpole and see who salutes? This ought to be good! I'm all ears, your ideas always give me a chuckle and then a pause. Whatcha got?" She sat in the chair next to me. She wore a cute flowered top that had just enough of a low cut neckline that I could see that she did, despite rumors to the contrary, have breasts!
"What would you say to getting naked with me? For the sake of an advertising campaign, that is. Not an off color offer, strictly business." I waited for the reaction.
"Wait...what? I think I might need more than this glass of wine to consider this proposition." She took a deep sip on her Pinot Grigio. "Not quite sure how being naked with you advances an ad campaign, but go on. I offered to listen to your pitch." She had the 'what's the punchline' look that meant I had her attention.
"Here's the idea. I saw a piece that on July 14, the world celebrates 'Nude Day'. It is an international event that has been going on for a number of years, celebrates nudity, body image, the human form. Yadda, yadda, yadda." I took a sip of my gin and tonic. "So, I got to thinking and what a great spot to put an ad. On a naked expanse of skin. Imagine, if you will, an ad for, say sunscreen on a person's back."
I saw the wheels turning with Joan. We always brainstormed well together. "Or that new 'all over deodorant that has been online for 'down there care'? An ad for that right above the butt crack that it helps smell better?" She chuckled, but she got exactly what I had been thinking.
"So, what are you thinking? Line up some sponsors? Make like, temporary tattoos for the people? Pay them a few bucks or give them a sample in exchange for their wearing the tat? Any idea what kind of revenue we are talking about?"
That was what I liked about Joan, well, one of the things. She could take an abstract idea or even a blatantly silly one and make it seem justifiable by adding facts and figures that caught corporate attention and acceptance. "I just started looking into that, but consider that NBA teams get about 7 million for the patch on their sleeves and baseball started with theirs this year and have generated about 5 million for each of the teams that have it. Hell, jockeys get 250 thousand for a name on their butt, more if it is in a stakes race."
"A bit more mainstream than, what did you call it? Nude Day? But still some decent comparisons and some nice numbers to throw out. And, honestly, that event seems far less obscene than how the Mets are playing. Yikes. Tell you what, let's write some things up and present it. The memo said 'all ideas considered', right?"
"It did. They had a pretty simple process, write up a proposal and submit it into that blind drop box and it will generate a number. Then they will announce the number of the ad campaign or campaigns selected. So the process seems pretty anonymous. But just in case, if it goes well, it was your idea. If it tanks, all mine. So what do you think? You in?" I looked across at Joan. She looked back.
"Why not. I'm in. Not for the naked part, but I'm in for writing up the proposal. And somehow this idea reminds me of an old joke I heard. Just can't quite place it. Maybe it'll come to me. But it might just be worth a try - definitely might get a chuckle or two! How about another drink to seal the deal?"
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Later that night at home, I went over a few numbers and wrote out a few key 'talking points'. A silly idea was actually becoming a legitimate possibility. It helped that the event had been established for a number of years, nearly 25, and attracted more and more people each year. By the time I turned in I had a fairly tight proposal on Joan and my shared folder.