***This is a true story***
"Any improvement on $5...going once, going twice, gone." I peeled off both soxes one at a time, balled them together and arced them into the corner of the room. "Now I'm trusting you, Eve. You put that fiver in the mail."
'You bet :-)' appeared in the textbox.
So I left both bare feet up on the desktop, wiggling my toes, etc, for the webcam -- and receiving a whole string of :-)s and ;-)s and 'applause' emoticons. Until one of the unseen audience typed in, 'methinks he's stalling ;-)???!'
"Okay-okay," I said, pulling my feet off the desktop and standing up, turning first one way slowly then the other way, just as slowly, running my hand over my own rump, "now I think you'll admit these are first class slacks..."
It's the kind of thing that happened every so often. To put it bluntly, I spent more money than I had --so I auctioned off my 'butt', so to speak, online. (Using the webcam feature of a popular dating website). It was meant to focus my attention -- embarrass me a bit, making me more careful. After all, I had no idea who was looking in, and 'bidding' etc. And it usually worked. For a while. I usually woke up somewhat sheepish the next day and more than a bit anxious in case someone really had recognized me. I mean, they certainly could, couldn't they...
At the moment in question, there were 748 people watching (according to the website counter in the lower right corner of my monitor) as I playfully stroked my rump. Most of the onlookers were female, probably. "...and since they are first class slacks and I'm offering the slacks, mind, not just the belt -- in fact I'm offering the belt and the slacks, well, I'm going to put on a reserve of, say, hmmm, $20..."
'$20 it is,' Monica typed in. Amie was just behind her and Louise, Jenny, Eve and Tracy also bid the reserve.
Thinking I at last had an auction I tried to push it up... "Do I hear 25?"...nothing... "22?"...nothing... "You ladies are a hard crowd."
'We're not the hard ones :-),' Amie typed.
And she was quite right. I turned to face the cam and I was indeed filling the slacks. "Ha bloody ha. C'mon, ladies, have a heart. I need the cash here -- you know that. 21?" Nothing. "Going once...going twice..."I popped the belt and little catch and peeled off the slacks, adding them to the soxes in the corner, in exchange for Monica's typed, 'The cheque's in the mail ;-) ;-)! ;-)'
Three winks caused me to chuckle. And I was hard and no erection likes to be trapped so that's why I decided to part next with the boxers, pulling on the thick elastic and rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet. The bids were better. Having not set a reserve they ranged from $5 to $35 on the opening bid and I did manage to convince Tracy to go $41...
When I peeled the boxers out from under the flaps of the shirt and tossed them in the corner, to the array of emoticons and typed in quips, I did some side turns and one full slow turn of 360 -- feigning self consciousness and stretching down the flaps on the shirt -- before releasing them and undoing the top button of my shirt.