On the train she felt conspicuous, as if she drew attention to herself with every movement she made, as if everyone must know where she was going. They couldn't, of course. She was dressed, as instructed, in ordinary clothes. She was a woman on a suburban train. Her destination, and her occupation when she reached her destination, were no more known to her co-passengers than theirs were to her.
She had thought that she would remember exactly where to go when she got off the train, but she again found the exits from the station confusing and was glad she had brought the street map with her again. She soon got her bearings and found the way to Almond Street without difficulty.
The morning was hot and the sun beat down on her as she walked. She wished she had worn a hat. A few cars passed her but she saw only one other pedestrian, a middle-aged man in dark trousers and a t-shirt walking in the opposite direction on the other side of the road. She stopped when she reached Almond Street and looked around. There was a warehouse opposite her, in the interior of which she could see people moving. They paid her no attention.
Her self-consciousness increased as she turned into Almond Street. Her legs felt unsteady and she could feel her heart pounding. The people in the warehouses and offices must know the business that was conducted in number 31, and she could not be the first girl they had seen walk towards it unaccompanied. She forced herself not to look over her shoulder, not to hurry, not to stumble.
When she reached the building she turned into the forecourt and walked to the entrance at the side without hesitation. She opened the door and walked inside.
The same woman, Rita, sat behind the counter. She was on the telephone. She smiled brightly and made a sign indicating that she would be finished the call in a moment. "OK," she said, "Tuesday, 9.30. See you then, Emma. Bye."
She put down the phone and stood up. "Hi, Sarah," she said, smiling again.
"Hello, Rita," said Sarah. The thought flashed through her mind that Rita must have made a point of checking her name before she arrived so that she could use it when greeting her.
"So it's the stills session for you today, with Sally. She's lovely. All the girls like her. You won't believe how stunning you'll look. Are you happy for me to take you up straight away? Sally's already there and probably finished setting up by now."
"I guess so," said Sarah.
"You've got your ID again?" asked Rita. She led the way up the stairs. "Anna will want to check it again. I know you're the same person, but you can't be too careful."
"Yes." Sarah felt she was being very monosyllabic, but there didn't seem to be any call for anything more expansive.
"There are a couple of other girls up there, Sylvia and Matilda. They're both English, travelling together. They're doing a video this afternoon, but they're here now to talk about it with the team. You'll meet them all after the shoot. They're heaps of fun."
"Thanks," said Sarah.
As they mounted the stairs Sarah heard female voices and some laughter. Rita led her down the corridor to Anna's office. As they passed an office Sarah saw in it a pretty young woman listening on the telephone; she looked at Sarah and smiled and waved as she walked past. Rita tapped on Anna's door and walked in. As Sarah followed she heard more female laughter emanating from another room further inside the building.
Anna was seated behind the desk, but she put down the pen that had been in her hand and stood as they came in. She smiled at Sarah and said hello.
"Sarah's got her ID and she's bang on time," said Rita. "A good start. I'll leave you to it. The phone's been mad all morning so I'd better get back."
"Thanks," said Anna. She looked at Sarah, top to toe, and smiled. "Why don't you sit down and I'll check you ID again and then I'll take you into the studio."
They both sat down. Sarah opened her bag and took out her passport and drivers licence. She handed them to Anna, who examined them carefully. She compared the information on them with the form that Sarah had signed last time.
"Fine," she said. "It always is, or always except for once, actually. Well, you're here, so I guess you haven't had too many second thoughts."
"I've had lots of second thoughts," said Sarah. "But I'm here."
"We need to decide how far you're going," Anna said.
Sarah answered without hesitating. "I'll do the whole thing," she said. "Explicit with a toy."
Anna looked at her. "Are you quite sure?"
"Yes. I've thought about it. That's what I'll do. It's $1000. I need the money."
"Is the money the only reason?" Anna was looking at her closely, observing her face.
Sarah avoided Anna's question. "If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't do it. I've thought about all the implications and what it will actually involve. I think I can handle any consequences."
What she said was true. She knew that when these photographs were taken they would be released on the internet and they would be all over the world forever more. They would be given captions that would describe her as a slut and refer to her tits and her cunt and her ass. Men would look at her while they masturbated. That was what happened with pornography.
Anna continued to look at her and asked her question again, more directly. "Does the idea excite you?"
Sarah thought for a moment, returning her look. "Have you ever done it yourself?" she asked Anna.
"Yes."
"Did it excite you?"
"Yes," said Anna. "It did. Certainly the first time. You get used to it."
Sarah was still reluctant to be completely honest. She said, "I'm not sure if it excites me. I think it might."
The truth, the whole truth, was that she knew she was aroused. She had been aroused increasingly from the time, before the interview, when she had found the website and seen the images there. When she had imagined herself posing -- exhibiting her sexual organs -- in the positions she had seen there. Exhibiting them and being photographed exhibiting them. Anna seemed to know this.
There was a pause, and the two women continued to look at each other. Then Anna ended the moment.
"OK," she said. "The full Monty it is. $1000 in your purse when you leave. I'll take you to the studio. Sally's there already."
*****
The studio was large room, about 25 feet square, Sarah guessed. There was a kind of stage set in the centre of the long wall opposite the door. The stage was furnished like part of a living room; there was a pale yellow sofa with an armchair at one end of it and a standard lamp at the other, and a square of beige-coloured carpet on the floor in front of the sofa. The wall behind the sofa was a creamy white and a picture hung on it; a large abstract. To either side of this stage were various types of lighting equipment: powerful-looking lamps, rectangles of silver reflective material and even an umbrella of the sort that Sarah had seen in films about photographers. There were a great many electrical cables. The room as a whole was quite dark, but Sarah noticed that the lamps and reflective material were aligned to concentrate light on the sofa. Centre stage, she thought.
Sally was not much older than Sarah, perhaps 25. Like everyone that Sarah had seen in that building she was pretty but not especially so. She was dressed sensibly in jeans and a short-sleeved t-shirt; she had a slim figure and medium-length brown hair. Seen on the street she would look like any other girl who worked in a shop or an office or a hospital or a government department.
"So you're a modelling virgin?" she asked. She smiled at Sarah.
"Yes," said Sarah.
"No stripping or anything like that?"
"No."
"It doesn't make much difference except that if you've done it before then I don't need to tell you what to do," said Sally. "About half the girls are completely inexperienced. I like it."
"I don't really know anything about what to do except that I take my clothes off."
"You've looked at some of the sets of stills?" asked Sally.
"Yes."
"Well, you'll have seen what we do. The first thing is lots of shots of you just sitting or standing or walking, smiling, looking serious, everything," she said. "I want you to try to show you being yourself. Then, after you're relaxed, maybe we'll undo a couple of buttons on your shirt and go from there."
"A striptease," said Sarah.
Sally had been busy adjusting lights, but at the word "striptease" she turned to glance at Sarah.
"Well, yes, if you want to put it like that. But it's not only that. I like to take lots of shots fully clothed and lots of shots of your face. This is going to sound like bullshit, but I really do try to present a portrait of you as a person, not just a body. Not just because that's what Sunny Girls is selling, but because that's what I like to do."
"What about the explicit part? And the toys?"