I stood still as streams of hot water sluiced through my hair, cascaded over my shoulders and trickled across my breasts. Sam would be home today, he'd been gone for almost a week on business and I missed him and his touch. I showered carefully, making sure I did not stimulate myself as I cleansed my aching breasts and pussy. Why? Let me tell the whole story so you can understand. You may never agree, you may see my actions as belittling, my life not one you would lead, but this is my story. I want to tell it because doing so is important to me. I am not looking for converts each person needs to find their own way in life. Part of what I have chosen for my life is telling my story, the story of Alexis.
I grew up not so different from anyone else though I was blessed with good looks and eventually a body that suited me. I am five foot seven inches tall, slender and perhaps a bit underweight for my height. Long, shapely legs taper nicely to a round firm ass that's sits below a trim waist. My chest (aka my tits) is thirty-four inches and I sport a B cup. My hair is natural and bark brown in color. It hangs straight and is regularly trimmed to a length that touches just about the middle of my shoulder blades. I am pretty, perhaps even beautiful and for a time in my life I played to that beauty. I entered pageants, was elected Queen of the Prom and was never in need of male admirers.
Throughout the end of high school and through most of my college days I used my beauty to attract men I thought deserved me. That I liked or admired them or they, in turn liked or admired me was of no consequence. It was more a matter of pairing up beautiful people and consequently none of those relationships lasted. I soon realized that I was more a prize to perhaps be bedded (though that was very infrequent) then a person to get to know. I am not being critical because I was no different.
I can't say when this changed in me, but it did. I dated far less and concentrated on my life, my career and my friends. Friends too were changed during that time, eliminating those whose only ambition was to ride my coattails in exchange for true friends who cared about me for who I was inside. This was when I met Sam. No, we did not hit it off right away in fact I had little to no interest in him as anything more then a friend. In fact it was almost two years before we actually had a date and another two years before he proposed.
Our married life started out perfect. We both had good jobs, we were able to buy a nice house, drive upscale cars and vacation wherever we chose. Our sex life was very good, at times fantastic. Sam stands about six foot two, was an athlete in college and maintains his body as I do mine. He has a nice cock and I loved how it filled me whenever we made love.
After a few years of marriage I found myself allowing a co-worker to become close. We would have dinner when Sam was out of town and enjoyed each other's company. One night this co-worker slid a hotel room key across our table and I was tempted to pick it up. In fact I stared at it for a good while before telling him that this was not the person I wanted to be. I stood up and left the restaurant and went straight home.
I brooded over this event for a few weeks and then after a particularly great fuck from Sam, I told him about the whole thing. I assured him that I never entertained the idea of cheating on him, but that some part of me had to understand that all the dinners were not just happening, that I was in some way being unfaithful, but that I never saw the true nature of things until the key was put on the table. I apologized for my stupidity and begged Sam to forgive me.
He did at once, but also said that both he and I would need to talk about this type of thing and the why of it. He admitted that he felt equal in blame because if he was doing all the right things then I would not have be put into that situation. I gasped at his honesty and hugged him harder then I can recall ever doing, then I cried for an hour. Sam said.
"Get it out Alexis, and then let it go. Tomorrow is Saturday and we can spend the day talking about our relationship, what we want and or need and we will go forward together as husband and wife, as man and woman, as lover and lover."
Still crying I nodded and clung to Sam as we both slept.
Over breakfast I felt nervous, my fear that Sam might have changed his mind, that perhaps instead of working things out he would simply ask for a divorce. I realize now that my shallow lifestyle of the past was influencing my thoughts.
"So Alexis, tell me about your sexual desires. Tell me. What makes you hot? What are your fantasies? What do you think about when you're alone? I've been thinking that our non-sexual life is pretty good we have no financial problems seem to enjoy each others company and we maintain a good gathering of friends. Perhaps the answer to our issue is sexual."
"Sam, sex with you has always been beautiful and loving. You are a great lover and your treat me so well, always seeing to my needs. Perhaps we need to be more inventive in our sex life?"
"I think you may be right, perhaps even though what we have is good, maybe it is too predictable, to common. Maybe it is in some ways becoming just another chore like doing the dishes or taking out the trash!"
"Sam, I think that your comparisons, while harsh and not completely true, may be close."
"So Alexis, I'll ask you again. What do you fantasize about? What kind of husband do you want from me?"
"You know it's hard, if not embarrassing to admit those things we've been taught since we were children not to talk about much less do. In those early days when I was just beginning to think about the whole boy and girl thing, I usually saw myself with a man who was, how do I say this right? A man who was in control! No, not like a control freak or anything. Just it always seemed growing up that Dad made a lot of the decisions. I guess with all the freedom women now possess, the jobs and career opportunities we now have that that notion of the husband being in control sounds obsolete."
"Well I for one do not see myself as some sort of control freak either. Yet I understand what you said about today's society and the one I both grew up in. Well at least where there were two parent households. I guess we could say that in today's world either one of us can take the reins, if you will."
"No, I think that I want to be married to a man who is in the lead or in control. In a sense you would be in control of what I do, or say, how I dress, where I go etc. In reality by agreeing to do those things, I too am in control too."
We tossed this concept back and forth all weekend and late Sunday night we agreed to let it lie for the week. The following weekend we would plan a get away and use a neutral location to continue the discussion. It would be a normal week for us Sam was in town all week. We spoke of lots of things that week, made love almost every night but did not broach the subject of fantasy. On Friday night we checked into a beachside resort a few hours away. It was almost the off-season but most of the restaurants were still open and the weather, while not beach weather, was warm. The shops were also still open and so we strolled the town, had long lunches and talked a lot.
I knew by then that I wanted Sam to take control of me, of my life. Late Saturday we strolled into a fashionable women's shop and I decided to adopt my role as a means of answering my husband.
"Sam, I am going to gather a few dresses to try on and I want you to choose which, if any I should have."
Sam blinked and I saw understanding in his eyes and he merely nodded.
I modeled a few dresses, all of which were nice and looked good on me. As I was about to go back for another Sam stopped me and said.
"I'd liked to see something a bit more daring, something you could never wear to work."
I nodded and went in search for something that met those standards, noticing that my panties were feeling a little damp. I found a dress that was relatively short in length and had a plunging neckline. In the dressing room I slipped the dress on over my bra and panties and looked in the mirror. Immediately I slipped it off my shoulders and took off my bra. Slipping it back on I liked the look and just for fun I bent over and slipped off my panties. Before going out to model this sexy dress, I gathered up my bra and panties. I walked out to the dressing room and went immediately to Sam and handed him my bra and panties then paraded about showing him the dress from all sides.
Sam made no attempt to hide my underwear, in fact he left them lying across his legs as his eyes stayed glued to me.
