Charlotte and I didn't discuss what happened that day. In fact, we carried on for the next week or so as if it had never happened at all. I wasn't sure what to make of that at first, but after a few days I decided to just roll with it.
I did feel awkward the next time I saw Danielle, though. Some part of me felt I should come clean about it, but an even bigger part of me decided not to. I felt similarly the next time Ethan came over, but I suppressed the urge then, too. Charlotte cast me a knowing look, which I interpreted as a reminder to keep my mouth shut.
However, things took a turn shortly after.
I was coming home with Danielle after a night out, and we were both feeling a little frisky. I wondered if Charlotte was going to try to collect on our wager. Honestly, I was all for it. I didn't think I could convince Danielle, though. My mind was racing to try to figure out how to pull it off as we entered the apartment.
It was mostly dark, with only a small light on in the living room. As we made our way to the bedroom, we didn't immediately notice Charlotte on the couch. She was sitting with her knees tucked up to her chest and wrapped in a blanket. She was completely silent as we passed by her, and we stopped in our tracks when we saw her there. It was another moment before I realized she had been crying.
"Hey," I said. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," Charlotte sniffled.
"No, really," Danielle said. "Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine, I guess." Charlotte buried her face in the blanket.
"What's going on?" I pressed. Charlotte looked up at us again.
"Ethan," she began, stifled a sob then continued, "dumped me."
"Oh my god," I said.
"When?" Danielle asked.
"Tonight," Charlotte sobbed. "He left about an hour ago."
"Shit," I said. "I'm sorry."
Danielle moved to the couch and pulled Charlotte into a hug. Meanwhile, I couldn't help but wonder if Ethan's departure had anything to do with our shower escapade. Did he know?
"What happened?" I asked. "I thought you two were good."
"I don't want to talk about it," Charlotte said. She leaned into Danielle's hug for a moment, then pushed herself back up and got to her feet. "Thanks. I think I'm just going to go to bed. You guys looked like you were about to do stuff. Don't let me stop you."
"It's okay," I said. "We can stay up with you if you want."
"It's fine," Charlotte insisted. "Thanks, though."
She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself and shuffled toward her bedroom. As she passed, she pulled me into a half hug, and whispered in my ear.
"Don't worry about the bet. I'm not going to make you pay up." Then she continued to her room and shut the door. I stared after her for a moment, then turned back to Danielle.
"Damn," I said. "That really sucks."
"Yeah," she agreed. "What bet?"
I didn't think she had heard that.
"It's nothing," I said, and quickly thought about the basketball game I had watched two nights before. "We made a little bet about who would win the game the other night. I lost. I owe her ten bucks." Danielle nodded, seeming to accept that. Still, I felt a slight shift in her energy and she seemed uncomfortable now.
"Were they really serious?" she asked. She hadn't actually met Ethan, so she never saw them together.
"I didn't think so," I said. "She's had a lot of guys over since she's lived here, but I've never seen her this upset over one before. It's weird."
Danielle sighed.
"I think I'm just gonna go."
"Why?"
"She's your friend, and I think she needs that right now. You go and talk to her. Call me later?"
"Um...yeah," I said, confused. "I'll do that."
"Okay." She kissed me, gave one last unreadable look, then left. I took a deep breath, then knocked on Charlotte's door. When she didn't answer, I took the initiative and let myself in.
"Hey," I said, sliding into the room. Charlotte sat on the edge of her bed, the blanket still draped over her shoulders like a cloak. She looked up at me with a tear-streaked face and choked back a sob.
"Hi."
I took a seat next to her. I couldn't decide whether or not I should put my arm around her, and ultimately decided not to.
"Did Danielle leave?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Was she mad?"
"I don't think so." She didn't seem like she was, but it was hard to tell.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For ruining your night."
"You didn't," I assured her. "You really didn't."
She didn't say anything, but just nodded her head.
"What happened with Ethan?"
"It's so...," she began, stifled another sob, then tried again, "just so stupid."
"Tell me," I said. "I'll be the judge of that."
Charlotte let her head fall back and stared at the ceiling for a minute or two. I imagine she was trying to think of how to explain the situation.
"My parents," she said, choosing to start from the
very
beginning, "always treated sex like this dirty, perverted thing. They never talked about it, except to say it shouldn't be talked about. So, I didn't learn much about it when I was a teenager.
"In college they couldn't stop me anymore, so I finally got to be openly curious about it. I was always curious, but I was too afraid to ask questions or look anything up. Now, I couldn't get enough of it. They couldn't stop me anymore, so I learned a hell of a lot really quickly. Some of it put ideas in my head, and I really wanted to try it.
"I thought guys were usually the ones who got adventurous and wanted to try new things. Anything as long as it involved sex, right? Apparently...I was wrong. Every guy I've ever been with was just so...so..."
"Vanilla?"
"
Boring!
They never wanted to do anything! Just suck and fuck. It was hard enough finding a guy who was willing to go down on
me
! I did end up dating this one guy for over a year. I really thought I was in love with him. Thought I could trust him. But when I started to suggest we should experiment he got...it just freaked him out. He said I was weird and it made him uncomfortable, and that was the end of that.
"When he dumped me, it shook my confidence. I never brought up doing different stuff again. I didn't want to chase another guy away. The little shows we put on for each other is the most exciting and kinky it's been for me in four years. I really liked it."
"Me, too."
"And after the thing in the shower, I started to get my confidence back. So, I thought I'd try something with Ethan, and he...wasn't a fan."
"What did you do?"
She hesitated.
"I...," she paused for a moment to compose herself. I couldn't tell if she was fighting back tears or just embarrassed. "I was giving him a blowjob on the couch and...I stuck a finger in his ass."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. She turned away sheepishly as she said it, but her head snapped around to glare at me.
"That's messed up!"
"I'm sorry," I said. I pulled myself back together. "I just really didn't know what to expect. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm sorry. So, what then? He just ran out on you?"
"Pretty much," she admitted. "I mean, there were a few choice words about it first, but then yeah...he just got up and stormed out. God, I feel like such a fucking idiot."
"You're not an idiot," I said. "Look, if that's all it took to scare him off then he's a wimp. Plain and simple. I mean, I haven't done a lot of experimenting myself, but from what I know, what you did is nothing. And even if he's not into it, flying off the handle like that is just ridiculous. What, he couldn't just talk to you about it? So he's a wimp
and
an asshole.
"I'm really sorry that happened to you. You shouldn't have to feel ashamed about being curious. There's nothing wrong with that."
"I know," she said. "Somewhere deep down, I know. It just hurts to have it thrown in my face like that."
I reached out and put my arm around her, and she leaned in and laid her head on my shoulder.
"A lot of guys would actually kill for a woman like you," I told her. "I'm actually surprised you haven't met any of them."
"Well, you said you don't experiment much, either."
"I said I haven't gotten to," I corrected her. "I didn't say I don't want to."
"Do you experiment with Danielle?"
"Not really," I said. "Except for that night with the vibrator we don't usually get creative."
"That's sad," she said. We were quiet for a moment, then she asked, "Do you think she'd be interested?"
"In what?"
"Experimenting."
"I don't know if she'd be into you," I joked, "but I could suggest a threesome."
"That's not what I meant," Charlotte said. "Not a horrible notion, but not what I had in mind. I mean, do you think you could get creative with her?"