The Bet—Day 5
Day 5 actually started late on Day 4. Shortly after I awoke from an afternoon nap, I received a text from Jared telling me that I was on my own for dinner because a family issue had come up that would keep him and Julia tied up for the rest of the day. I texted back that it wouldn't be a problem. I spent the rest of the day and early evening reading up on the new programing language that I had just started looking at when Sandra had distracted me.
Dinner was a slice of pizza and a couple of beers at the bar in a nearby pub. While I sat at the bar and as I walked back to Jared's my mind was focused on ideas I had for things that could be done with the new programing language I had been reading about. The problem of course was that I would have to go back to the rat race in Palo Alto I had just escaped. Pursuit of any of my ideas would require me to hire some heavy duty hacking talent, round up venture capital, and deal with the usual collection of lawyers, accountants, tax advisors, etc. The talent I would need to pursue the idea simply wasn't available in Boise. But, I wasn't at all sure I wanted to go back to Palo Alto, especially when I compared it to the alternative of staying in Boise, where my main focus was on dealing with a horny preacher's wife and a couple of other women who all wanted to fuck my brains out. Staying in Boise and letting these women screw me silly seemed a great deal more attractive, given that I didn't really need the money that the new project might generate. Still, the idea was an interesting one.
Between Kat and Sandra, the last 24 hours had pretty much worn me out and I was just about to call it an early evening, when Jared and Julia came in. Julia, who looked to be in a bad mood, disappeared, but Jared asked me to join him in the back yard for a beer. "There are a couple of things we need to discuss," he said. He sounded serious.
"What's up?" I asked, once we were seated in the back yard, beer in hand.
"Two things. First, I have to tell you, you've been driving my wife nuts."
"What? How?"
"She wants to fuck you so bad she can't stand it, and all you do is tease her. You know I don't object to your having sex with her. That's the kind of relationship Julia and I have. So what's going on Michael?"
I laughed. "Jared, there's something you need to know about your house. When I'm in my bedroom, I can hear everything you and Julia say and do in your bedroom. I know about the bet, and that's why I've been playing hard to get with her."
Jared laughed a long roaring belly laugh. "No shit? That's what this is all about? I couldn't figure out what you didn't like about Julia. I asked myself whether you were gay, but you sure as hell weren't gay when we roomed together in college. Plus, I watched you fuck Sandra silly the other night, and . . .
"And this afternoon," I interrupted.
"And there was Kat last night," "he continued. "So I couldn't believe you were even close to gay." He shook his head. "So this was all just about our silly ass bet?"
"Yes, and just so you know, it hasn't been easy. There have been a couple of occasions when I would have gladly dragged her off to bed and fucked her until she was begging for relief. Very tempting. Your wife has a great pair of tits that I . . ."
"I've noticed that myself," he said with a laugh. "And I've noticed you noticing. Another reason I didn't think you are gay."
"It was good that Sandra and Kat were around or I might have succumbed to her charms."
He leaned back in his chair and took a long pull on his beer obviously thinking about how best to play this opportunity. Leaning forward, he said, "Okay, here's how were going to handle this. I'm going to tell her that we talked, but not that you know about the bet. I'm going to tell her that I didn't tell you it was okay to fuck her because I'm not giving up on the bet, and I'm afraid you are weakening. Then I'll remind her that she has only one more day to seduce you or she'll lose the bet. Tomorrow, after morning church services, I'll come up with an excuse to leave for a few hours and this time I want you to succumb to her charms. Just fuck her until she begs for mercy Michael. She wants it." He laughed. "Hell, she needs it. She gets cranky when she fails to seduce someone she has set her sights on."
"But what about the bet?" I asked. "You'll lose, won't you?"
"I don't give a shit about the bet," he said. "We make these stupid bets all the time. What are the stakes again? I can't even remember."
"You'll have to eat her out on the altar of your church."
He laughed. "Well, that won't be a first for that event. The only thing is that we can't do it while the congregation is there. That would seriously impair cash flow. We can't have that, and she knows it as well as I do. After all she keeps the books for all of our little enterprises. Believe me, losing the bet and having to do her on the altar will be a lot easier than putting up with a frustrated wife."
He took another long pull on his beer. "Great. Now that's settled, but there is one other little problem we need to talk about. This one might be harder."
Harder than my fucking his wife, I wondered? What could be harder than that?
"My mother in law is back. I'm going to need your bedroom."
"No problem. I've got a rental that is available late next week. It's about four blocks away."
"Whew. That's great. I was afraid I was going to have to throw you out."
"What about from now until the end of next week?"
"That will work fine, she has an old boyfriend here in town that she is shacked up with, but that can't last beyond the end of next week."
"Okay. No problem. But how come?"
"His wife is coming home then."
Now it was my turn for a belly laugh. "You people," I said. "You're unbelievable."
"Just regular folks trying to get by," he responded. "Want another beer. I need one. Dinner with Shirley is always tough. She's unusual you know. She is a total slut, but she doesn't approve of drugs or alcohol."
"I can't wait to meet her," I said.
"Take care of my wife first, old buddy. First things first. Julia will go through the roof if you are fucking her mother and not her."
Jared went in to fetch a couple of additional beers.
When he returned I took a long pull on my beer and asked, "I have a question. Are you two married or not? You keep talking like you are, but the first night I was here you told me you weren't."
He laughed. "Well the ring was phony and when we left Walla Walla we were determined it was just going to be a partnership—kind of a carnal partnership I admit, but that was the plan. Recently our tax advisors explained the tax benefits of being actually married so we broke down and tied the knot. We don't usually admit that to our close friends. That is a little odd, given how much trouble we went to to appear to be married before we got married. But remember this, Michael. Monogamy is not part of the deal for either of us. So stop teasing my wife and screw her.
* * * * * *
The next day dawned bright and sunny with a forecast high of 89 and a light breeze. A perfect Boise late summer day. Jared and Julia had left for the church before I got up. Sunday was their big day with the congregation, so they were always there early to make sure everything was in order. I followed a bit later, arriving well in time for the 10:00 o'clock service. The church was in a run-down neighborhood between Boise's old train depot and it's airport. Not a particularly notable building. Built sometime early in the twentieth century, it was cool inside, but I suspected it would warm substantially as the sun went to work on it. The pews were old, scarred wood that may well have seen service in one or more other churches before coming to rest in Jared's church. They didn't look particularly comfortable, but Jared wasn't known for conducting the kind of drawn out service that would make them painful.
By 10:00 o'clock the church was very nearly full. I was wondering what Jared's message was that would fill this old church on a three day holiday (Monday would be Labor Day). It was a pretty straightforward church service. Jared preached from a pulpit on the left side of the altar. No fancy robes. Just his standard black slacks and shirt and ecclesiastical collar. Julia led the small choir from the other side. She had a remarkable voice. Apparently, she had skills beyond sex and juggling the books. Who knew?
Jared's service was what I considered typical non-denominational motivational preaching. No hellfire and brimstone. Just a batch of bible references and readings that supported his theme of "Love thy neighbor and thyself, and have no fear, God will look after you." He definitely didn't mention anything about going to hell for adultery nor did he mention his attitudes towards the care and feeding of a successful marriage with ample and mutual extramarital sex. His preaching on that subject was reserved for folks like Sandra and Andrew.
An offering basket was passed and I noticed that the contributions appeared generous. Later Julia would tell me that the real money came in through monthly tithing, which was not mentioned during the ceremony. I would also learn later that the whole ceremony would be taped and released as a podcast in conjunction with Jared's religious blog. That part of the operation was generating mid-six figure annual revenues with almost no operating costs. Non-threatening, non-demanding, comforting religion on your schedule, perhaps during your commute. Each podcast and the end of each blog entry was followed by a brief soft ask. No other advertising—just a soft request for funding of Jared's ministries. Apparently if people could go to church on their own schedule, hear a pleasant message, and not be threatened with eternal damnation, they were willing to pay-up for the service. It seems obvious when you think about it.
Later I stood, my back to the warm bricks of the church, and watched as Jared and Julia greeted their departing congregation. Jared was smooth and polished, but it was Julia who was stealing the show. Her hair was up and she had her "church lady" glasses on, but her clothing was more stylish than I had seen her in in the past. She wore a bright blue dress buttoned down the front that hung loosely across her ample breasts, not showing them off, but not really hiding them either. The dress fit her broad hips snugly and then stopped at her knees. It couldn't be said to fit tightly, but it really didn't disguise any aspect of her voluptuous figure Her three inch heels made her legs look stunning.
As each parishioner came out she greeted them with a hand shake (in classic Joe Biden two handed form), or a brief and decorous hug, or a more aggressive hug that mashed her magnificent boobs against the recipient's chest (men and women). Sometimes she even spoke softly and privately into the individual's ear. But, there were a few public words for each—a compliment for their dress or neck tie, a thank you for a recent contribution, an inquiry as to how children or aging relatives were faring or, in some cases, a simple thank you for attending and a request to come again. She knew her audience and played them to perfection. Everyone I saw walked away smiling. It was a virtuoso performance. The girl really did have talent.
Eventually everyone was gone, with only the three of us left standing on the church steps. Jared turned to Julia and asked, "What's the take?" meaning the cash in the baskets.
"I won't know until I do a detailed count and prepare the deposit, but it looks to be about $1,500, or so. Not bad for a holiday weekend."
Jared smiled and looked over at me, "She will be accurate in that estimate to within $25.00."
Julia laughed. "It's a skill I learned from Big Al. He could look down from the pulpit as the baskets were going around, guess the take, and ramp up his sermon if necessary to get what he needed to keep the church afloat."
Jared shook his head. "He would have done so much better if he had left out all that hellfire and brimstone stuff. It puts people off, and they stop showing up. Tell them what they want to hear and keep'em coming back."
Then he rubbed his hands together. "I'll go in and grab the tapes and then run home and get this week's blog post and pod cast out. There are folks out there who may want to get their weekly dose of religion as they drive home from their Labor Day getaway. Michael can you help Julia tidy up and then drive her home with you?"
