A Topless Collision

This is another true story about my wife, Lauren. Last time, I told about the time she unwittingly exposed her topless self to two college jocks in the parking lot after breastfeeding. Since then, she's accidentally shown more than she'd like just a handful of times, once in a hotel pool and another is the subject of this story. This event happened just a month ago.

After weaning our first child, Lauren dropped back to her 34A bust size, breasts virtually unchanged from her breastfeeding glory except for slightly larger nipples. She maintained her slimness, back at her pre-pregnancy weight of 95 pounds.

She got pregnant when Junior turned two, and had a an uneventful pregnancy. Like the first time, her breasts had the greatest change; she went from 34A to a 34C by delivery day. After she had the baby, she once again produced milk like a cow - within days she had grown to a full 34D, constantly engorged and leaking milk almost around the clock. Her nipples were about an inch long and almost three-quarters of an inch thick, and both nipples and areola turned a delicious shade of pink, in contrast to the spidery blue veins on her swollen, creamy white breasts. With not a bit of sag, they looked like they'd pop if you poked them with a pin.

As I mentioned in my previous story, she is very conservative in dress, only showing cleavage while breastfeeding due to her increased size, not clothing choice, and avoids nursing in front of others if possible. She even went so far as to make sure no male medical staff were in her room during delivery. She goes to great lengths to avoid exposing herself, especially after that parking lot incident.

On this morning, I was headed out the door to work. Lauren was nursing our newborn on the couch, dressed in a loose knee-length skirt and a white nursing tanktop. I gave her a kiss and patted baby on the head as she suckled, then paused on my way out, briefly drinking in the sight. Lauren had her slightly wavy dark hair tucked up in a messy bun, with a few wisps of loose hair floating about. Blue veins stood out on her pale, swollen breast as she nursed, with the swell of her chest and cleavage showing in spite of the baby blocking much of the view. I could plainly see her round nursing pad through the cup of her tanktop on her other breast, and even a slight bump where her nipple was.

I got in my truck and headed to the office. I own my own business, and was going to pick up an employee and head to a jobsite about an hour away for the day. Once I got to the office and picked Jake up, I realized that I'd left a piece of equipment at the house, and needed to grab it before heading out of town.

We pulled in the driveway, and I opened the garage door. I told Jake to run inside and grab the tool, which was in the laundry room, while I called one of our subcontractors. Jake is one of our newest employees, having been with my company for about a year now since graduating college, and he's still in the learning stage.

A couple minutes later, he got back in the truck with the tool, and although I was still on the phone I could tell he seemed a bit out of sorts. I got off the phone, and we rode in silence for a few minutes, then he started to talk. The conversation went something like this:

Jake: "I think I might have upset your wife a little bit back there."

Me: short laugh, then "How so?"

Jake: "Well, I kind of startled her."

Me: "That's fine. I probably should have called her."

Jake: "Yeah........ 'cause she was half-naked when I went in, boss, and I wasn't expecting that and I don't think she was either."

I just about choked on my coffee as he said that. Incredulous, I asked him to say that again, as I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. Jake was a bit red, and stammered that Lauren had been "half-naked" when he walked in.

Not fully believing him, and thinking he must be overreacting or misexplaining what happened, I asked him to tell me what went down. After some prodding and with clarifying questions about details as he spoke, Jake sheepishly told me how things went.

After getting out of the truck, he had walked into the garage. Opening the door into the house led him into the dining room. He remembered noticing the baby sitting in a swing in the living room to the left as he headed for the laundry room, which was through the kitchen ahead and around the corner by the back door.

As he made the turn, Lauren rounded the corner and collided with him. Jake remembered bringing his hands up instinctively in the split-second that he saw her figure suddenly appear and they bumped into each other. The collision knocked them both off balance, and Jake said they tripped up against the wall. At that point, he realized that she was completely topless, as he had her pinned against the wall with his hands on her bare breasts, and that his hands felt strangely wet.

After a second of realization, Jake said that Lauren shrieked, he regained balance and started to step back and turn around as she crossed her arms in front of her. As he stepped back, though, their feet got tangled, and down they both went.

As he's telling me this, Jake is beet red, and I'm trying hard not to laugh as I get him to tell me details. He's squirming like a kid who's in trouble with the principal.

Jake said that he landed on his back on one of the kitchen rugs, and without time to react Lauren tumbled down on top of him as well. He half-caught her at the hips and she landed on his chest, with her hands above his shoulders holding her upper torso off the ground above him.

At that point, Jake said he felt his face being sprayed. With her heavy breasts parked a few inches above his face, and after the surprise collision, his accidental grope, and the sudden fall, her milk-laden breasts were spraying wildly (as I've often seen them do before). Lauren rolled off, cupping her boobs, and crawled back around the corner into the laundry room.

Wiping his face dry, Jake said he got up and started apologizing profusely, and Lauren snapped at him from out of sight, saying to "get out". He said he told her that he was grabbing a tool in the laundry room for the boss (me). A red-faced Lauren came around the corner, attempting to cover her breasts with one hand and handing the tool with the other hand. After I pressed for detail, Jake said he couldn't help but notice milk dripping off her boob-covering elbow and through her fingers. Having gotten the tool, Jake's confession ended back at the truck.

He apologized again for running into my wife in that condition (not that he controlled that), and I had a good laugh. I wondered why Lauren was shirtless, and figured I'd find out when I got home from work that evening. Throughout the day, I had some fun teasing Jake about the incident, and mockingly warning him to never do it again.

After getting home, I brought up the topic after dinner. Lauren was extremely embarrassed about the situation. Apparently, what had happened was a few minutes before we pulled in the driveway, the baby had had a major spit-up after a feeding, drenching her nursing tanktop and the baby's clothes. After changing the baby and calming her down, Lauren had put her in the baby swing, and headed to the laundry room.

As her shirt was soaked, Lauren took the tanktop off, rinsed it out in the sink, and placed it in the dirty clothes for washing. She then washed her chest off and dried herself, and headed out the laundry room to go get a new top in the bedroom. The dryer had been running, so she didn't hear the garage door open or hear Jake approaching.

When she rounded the corner and ran into Jake, she said his hands came up and landed fully on her breasts, pressing her against the wall and causing them to spurt milk. The subsequent fall merely increased the flow, and she was mortified that she landed with her spraying breasts essentially right in his face. After he'd left, she had to dry several spots on the floor due to the milk she had leaked out.

For my part, I apologized for not letting her know we were coming over, but I couldn't hold back laughing at the comedy-of-errors. She could see the humor as well, but was very embarrassed as well.

A week later, Lauren stopped by the office to drop off pizza for the guys; Jake and I were the only ones in at the moment, and I was on the phone. She blushed furiously as she awkwardly handed the boxes to Jake. She's seen him two or three times since, and still has a hard time acting normal around him.

As for Jake, I give him a hard time every now and then. He's admitted to me that he has replayed the event in his mind since then, and that Lauren is one hot mama. I told him about the parking lot incident, and that he wasn't the first accident she's had like that.

I've joked with Lauren about pranking Jake by bring him a bottle of fresh breastmilk with lunch one of these days. She actually thought it would be funny.... but it hasn't happened yet.

That's all for now. One of these days I'll post the other incidents, or new ones if they happen.