I thought this fancy college might have some other hard working souls staying over, but apparently not. It was classic post-apocalypse. The pathways were vacant and the gothic halls echoed. Everyone, at least everyone but me, had left for the holiday.
I lived in Maine and my family was scattered to the winds. Also, I was seriously behind on my work, a top-notch college being a tad more labor intensive than anticipated. No family Thanksgiving for me this year. So I had walked downtown to pick up a frozen turkey dinner, and now I was working on feeling sorry for myself.
It was a gray November (of course) day, one of the reasons people don't retire in the Northeast. The wind was damp and cold, and occasional flakes collected at the edges of the campus paths. A big snow was coming, and the preceding quiet had started already. There was no traffic noise, no party noise, no music blaring out of open windows. The only sound was an occasional low wail as the freezing wind turned the stone corner of a building. I thought of a typical Thanksgiving dinner, a ceremony I generally disliked, and began to think better of it.
A voice behind me said "Hey!"
I dropped my frozen dinner and kicked it.
"Are you for real?" she asked, "I thought every living person had left this hole."
Looking to see who was interrupting my self-sympathy session, I smoothly kicked my dinner away again in mid-pick up. I said "Happy Thanksgiving to you, too."
"Or the zombies got everyone," she continued.
It was a girl. Maybe a cute one. Time to freeze up. But first, I tried retrieving my dinner again. And kicked it again.
"Unnnh," I said. Quick inter-sexual repartee is my forte.
"Maybe you're one of them," she suggested. "A zombie." She didn't seem to appreciate my conversational skills. Or my soccer skills.
"Well...," said I, "I seem to have the shuffle going pretty well."
She was looking at my dinner, hungrily, I thought. "Don't you guys eat human flesh?"
"There was no one here to eat," I said. "Frozen turkey is our second favorite thing." I thought I was doing better, but she still didn't smile.
"I'm here," she said.
We both considered that observation for a moment.
"What are you up to, studying?" I asked wittily.
"I gave that up for Thanksgiving. I wanted something to be thankful for. But I'm stuck here. I have zero money. I can barely afford to breathe. God, I hate this place. It's freezing, it's lonely, there's nothing to do. Even with side jobs my expenses take 500% of my income. I'm eating cornflakes three times a day. HBU?"
My brain was slowly starting to process again. "Oh, you know, just the usual. Skydiving. Trying to get the Ferrari repaired. A little piecework for the CIA. Nothing, really."
She had a face that seemed quite classically beautiful but borderline bitchy. She was tall. Her full-length parka prevented further assessment. She never smiled.
"Wanna hang out?" she asked. It was almost a demand.
"Well, you know, while the Ferrari is in the shop we won't be going anywhere. But if you're looking for a 20-inch TV and a frozen dinner, I'm your guy."
She agreed, except for the TV and the dinner. We walked over to her dorm. She had a 25-incher.
She was Elle. Her place was as ghost-infested as mine. You could hear the mice scampering in the walls. Her living room was an ocean of old clothes, blankets, pillows, quilts and cushions, mostly her roommates', she said. You could guess from the bumps that a chair and a couch were a few layers down.
Her roommates "never picked up," she said as she dumped her parka on the floor. I sat on the couch. Actually, my tailbone hit something hard which turned out to be a vibrator. Hmmm. I shoved it back behind a pillow.
She wore a bulky sweater and jeans. She dropped her knitted hat on the floor and wavy dark hair fell well below her shoulders. She turned on the TV and sat at the far end of the couch. We small-talked.
She was a freshman too, studying economics and psychology. She came from California, a rural area East of L.A. "where it's nice and toasty right now."
We started watching a movie and got halfway through before she decided it was boring. The parade was over. The football game was a rout. Daytime TV re-runs were awful. She couldn't afford Netflix. I didn't tell her I could.
We muted the sound and talked while we watched. I listened to her bitch about the weather, poverty, the college, her roommates, you name it. She never mentioned a boyfriend and I could see why.
She got up and found some cookies in the closet. She pulled some cold beers off the outer windowsill.
I asked about her side jobs. She said she occasionally got calls to model, although most of her contacts were in California. She didn't like it because you weren't always treated well. You still had to act enthusiastic and sexy even though you were essentially a piece of meat. Also, it was a short career; she would soon be too old. Bitch, bitch.
The muted TV was showing curling, a dream-like sport similar to shuffleboard in super slow motion. I found it mesmerizing. The big, circular stones trundled down the ice one after another. Players steered them by brushing the ice. The scoring was opaque. It went on and on. For some reason we both kept watching. I had another cookie.
She eventually peeled off her sweater, revealing a tee shirt barely containing large boobs and some nice pokies.
The couch sagged in the middle and as we gravitated toward the center our elbows occasionally started to connect as we drank. She pointed something out and her pokies swayed gently under her shirt. Eventually our hips touched ever so slightly. Had she noticed? Should I lean away?
The curling stones sailed slowly down the ice. We watched as they bumped, formed patterns, separated, and were cleared away. I was starting to think better of her. Long, lustrous dark hair. Thin and fit with major boobs. Classic straight nose. Blue eyes. Fantastic smile, suddenly. Kissable lips that moved in fascinating patterns, up, down, stretch, close.
"What's in these cookies?" I asked.
"Just the usual," she said. "Aren't they great?"
Silently the curling stones marched back and forth. She leaned on me a little, now obviously on purpose. Maybe in a friendly way. Time passed.
"I'm bored," she announced.
I wanted to interest her, but I had no plan. "The CIA is closed today," I said. "How about we get a pizza?"
"Too early,'" she said. It was still before 5 PM. What to do? I tried to think fast. Maybe she was right; this place was a hellhole.
She gave me an appraising look. "Let's fuck," she said.
Time to freeze up. How many freshmen have a model lay that on them? What would Miss Manners do? I gave the only possible response.
"Unnnnnhhh..."
"Oh, c'mon. It has to be better than daytime TV."
"...sounds OK...but I barely know you."
"What's to know?" she asked. She kneeled on the couch facing me and stuck her boobs in my face. They swung temptingly as she achieved balance on the sloping cushion. "You're a guy. I'm a girl. We have parts that fit. It'll feel good. Let's do it."
Good, yes, but it didn't feel right. I mean, I was sure it would feel great, and I really, really wanted to grab those tits. But I was discovering that I might be one of the last romantics. "Look," I said, "I'd absolutely love to do you, but ...This may just be the cookies talking, but I also think a little anticipation can be hot. Let's do this: I'll take you out for dinner first. Maybe a really good one, to break your breakfast cereal habit. Then we can...whatever. I'm at your service." Quaint of me, I know.