I entered The Rooms of Mirrors and started to laugh at silly shapes and sizes, but as I moved through the maze of rooms, I became more and more confused by multiple reflections at odd angles and false exits. The disorientation was complete when the door of the last room slammed shut behind me, and I was plunged into total darkness.
It seemed as if I had gone blind and the only sound was that of my own heavy breathing. I took a few tentative steps, while I waited to see what was in store for me. I heard a floorboard creak and suddenly, my world erupted with the sounds of laughter and music and bright lights coming from a doorway.
I pushed my way through swinging half doors and found myself in the crown jewel of the Kiwanis Club's Carnival Fun House. The room was a replica of an 1870's Saloon, complete with the original patrons. On the wall opposite the swinging doors, stood a restored J. M. Brunswick and Balke Company Bar of walnut, complete with multiple beveled glass mirrors surrounded by elaborately carved hardwood mirror frames. Against another wall two Ladies of the Evening sat on a black horsehair covered couch, with a lucky cowpoke between them. Five men were playing poker over in a corner, and nearby was a Billiards Table.
The Historical Society was very proud of the Monarch Model Brunswick Billiards Table, that looked as new as the day it was built in 1874. According to the J. M. Brunswick and Balke Company catalog: " This magnificent table embodies great solidity and massiveness of construction, with elegance and grace of design. It is very ornamental, the sides being of wood tastefully inlaid with various colored mosaics, and the legs being of iron finished in black and gold. A leveling screw in the center of the feet assists in establishing a perfect level over the entire surface of the table. It is unique in style and a departure from the established idea of a billiard table."
The illusion was complete with another female mannequin standing by a staircase waiting for her next customer. The laughter and chatter came from hidden speakers, and the player piano, complete with a musician dressed in shirtsleeves, played Ragtime. The mannequins were all dressed in period costumes, but at least during the fair, all the plaster hands and heads had been replaced by white bones and hollow-eyed skulls.
The room was really located in a wing of the Lawrence County Historical Society that was in a building next to the Fair Grounds. During the rest of the year it was one of many exhibit rooms, but for a week in August the Kiwanis set up the rest of the Fun House in the storeroom next door and split the $ 20 tax deductible contribution with the Society
The expensive admission fee was well worth the cost because only person or a couple together, was allowed to go through the exhibit at a time. I was free to examine all the items on display, and even rub my hand across the soft green velvet that covered the billiards table, but it soon became obvious that I was not totally unsupervised.
The bartender started to move when I walked in. He pointed his skinless finger towards me, the jaw of the bleached skull opened and a crackled voice said, " Hey tenderfoot, men have been lynched for less than coming in here with at gaudy green and blue tie. So if you don't take that off right now, we won't even have to look for a rope to string you up." Apparently my Father's Day gift would not been admired in Deadwood when Wild Bill Hickock was in charge.
I immediately took off my tie, and walked around absorbing the atmosphere. I even bullied up to the bar. After a half hour, my watcher decided that it was time for me to leave, so the bartender looked at me and the voice said, " time to close for the night partner, but if you are still thirsty, go right out that back door." It was an exciting experience, but what I saw as I walked out into bright sunlight took my breath away.
She was a tall woman. Her straw colored hair was tied into a single braid that lay against a straight spine covered by a checkered shirt. The tip was tied with a pink bow that just touched the top of her blue jeans. Her hips had a gentle flair, but her buttocks were tight and her forearms betrayed a woman who was accustomed to physical labor. When she ducked under the flap of the Beer Tent, there was a hint of white that highlighted a long graceful neck that had been sheltered from the sun by a broad rimmed hat.
For just a moment, she turned her head and waved at someone behind me, and I saw her bright blue eyes and the sunlit glow of her high cheekbones. Her face had an almost child like quality that in earlier generations might have been described as virginal, but all doubts of that left my mind when I saw her reach out and wrap her arm around The Reverend Larry Lea DeSille.
Larry kissed her on the nose, handed her a plastic cup and said "here you go darling, nothing like cold beer to make you forget four hours on the Midway".
Apparently she was one of the summer workers that Tri-State Carnival Company hired to supplement the small group of hard core carnies. The parents were a lot more willing to let their children travel with the show once they were told that a Baptist Minister would be there to watch over them. But I had already learned that sometimes Reverend Larry, who was in fact a Buddhist, watched some of his flock more closely than others.
At the University of Arizona, he taught Mathematics and was known as Doctor Donald DeSille. But every summer he became Reverend Larry Lea DeSille, the traveling Chaplin for the carnival workers at Tri-State Enterprises. I had only learned his secret a month ago when I saw him at the Benton County Fair near my home. I had recognized him because he had gone to high school with my Son. He told me that even a man who loves the rarified atmosphere of numbers, needs to spend a little time every so often with his feet on the ground. I thought to myself, if the young woman did not know it already, she would soon learn that his favorite way to regain a grip on reality was by grasping naked flesh.
He looked over her shoulder and when he saw me walking towards him he yelled " Hi, Mr. Carlson, what brings you to Deadwood?"
We shook hands and I told him that I was in the middle of a trial at the County Courthouse, and had decided to stay over for the weekend rather than fly back to Minnesota. He introduced me to Carley, and then she excused herself and headed towards the Lady's Room. I watched her long slender body sway as it disappeared into the crowd and muttered almost to myself " another one who wants to see God."
Larry looked at me and said " so that was you in the barn watching me with Heidi at the Benton County Fair. I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did."
I blushed a little and admitted that I was there, and started to make my apologies when Larry stopped me and assured me that if he had cared, he would have told me so. " There is just something about teachers and preachers, we always have to have to have an audience. We both saw Carley coming back, and quickly pretended to be watching the Baseball game on the 32-inch TV mounted on a stand above the bar.
When I commented that the TV seemed bit extravagant for a beer tent, Larry told me there had been a Billiards Tournament the night before in that Saloon I had visited and the TV was installed for the audience. " People come from all over the country, just for the opportunity to play a game on that old Brunswick, and we sell a lot of beer while we watch them play out their fantasy.
She was pouting when she returned and looked my way and then whispered into Larry's ear. He just patted her hand and said " don't worry my dear, we will think of something. Why don't you get us some tickets so we can split a pitcher of beer."
He saw the look of concern on my face, and as soon as Carley was gone, he leaned forward and said " she is a bit clumsy sometimes and she just flushed her diaphragm down the toilet. I guess instead of climbing the Tower of Babble tonight, she is going to have to sit on it."