(dimachaerus: noun -- Roman gladiator who fought with two weapons - a sword in each hand)
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Valhalla is a place that exists only to those who are chosen.
It is said by many that you can't buy your way into heaven. The same thing could also be said about Valhalla, however there is one interesting distinction between the two that should be made.
While according to Christian doctrine 'It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven', that same rich man will have no problem at all passing through the gates of Valhalla.
Let me clarify things for you just a little. I am not referring to the historical Norse concept of the after-life.
No.
The Valhalla I am referring to is a very real, and tangible structure of wood and stone. It has an address but it is far more than just a location. It can be a place where dreams come true.
If you meet the strict membership criteria then maybe even you too will pass through it's gates one day.
Only the truly blessed however, may actually call themselves 'members', but fear not, for those that don't quite make the grade there is also another way to enter paradise.
If you are gifted and have something that others desire then you may pass through the gates on the strength of that gift as an 'associate'.
I don't expect any of you to understand fully what I'm referring to yet because only the 'chosen' know about Valhalla. If you do not know already, then you were never intended to.
So........What is Valhalla?
As I mentioned before, to most, it is simply the Norse word for the after-life.
But, to a few of us that word means so much more. A society. A way of life.
Some might even call it a club. It is a place and an idea all rolled into one.
Most importantly of all....it is a secret.
Should it come to pass that you are welcomed into that secret world you will have no idea of it's existence until the day you are contacted by one of it's members. That is the way it has always been. Until now.
The day you discover that you have been accepted into Valhalla is a very strange day indeed.
First will come the inevitable questions.
'What the hell is Valhalla and how can I be accepted into something I've never even heard of, let alone applied for?'
As I said earlier, it is a place that exists only to those who are chosen.
The answers I'm about to give you may be shocking to some.
People who attain a certain kind of power and influence within society tend to draw a lot of attention to themselves. With wealth and success also comes fame and notoriety, but this my friends, is a double edged sword.
Those wealthy and famous people can't engage in the kind of activities that the rest of us enjoy in our blissful anonymity.
Suddenly all those sexual activities and unorthodox fetishes that they once practised and enjoyed become dangerous liabilities. Liabilities that could destroy their reputation and perhaps even their business.
The solution to this dilemma was Valhalla.
Nobody has ever turned down their acceptance into this select club.
There are many reasons for this interesting fact. Once someone discovers the truth then they are inevitably drawn in right from the start.
Who wouldn't be? The Valhalla Club is like a 'Disney Land' for the rich and famous. Every ride and attraction that was not available to them in the past is suddenly made possible.
There is also a darker side to all of this of course.
All members are nominated without their knowledge and a strict screening process ensues.
Membership is only offered to those who are almost certain to accept it.
The reasons behind this process are obvious.
Turning down such an opportunity and exposing the existence of Valhalla to the world would invoke the anger and retribution of some of the most powerful people in society.
It is best just to accept your invitation and enjoy the privileges that it brings, that's the smart move. The only move.
More than a few multi million dollar deals have been brokered within the walls of the Valhalla club while it's patrons enjoyed it's hospitality.
It has become the place where the rich and powerful interact without any limitations.
I should point out there is nothing much that is illegal about what goes on at Valhalla because there doesn't need to be. The effects from your first brush with that world are far more profound than any drug.
There are no questions about morality. No judgements will be made about you.
What happens at Valhalla stays at Valhalla.
To be accepted as a member means to be connected. It's a fast-track to success for those who show promise.
It's a way for like minded people to associate with kindred souls.
My initiation to this world came at a heavy price.
Ironically, it was the worst day of my life that resulted in my acceptance into the fold.
I'm no 'Donald Trump' but I have done okay for myself. I discovered at an early age how to get onto the 'Property Ladder' and how to climb it.
I bought and sold properties quickly until I had made my first million at 28 and now at age 34 my net worth was closer to the 15 million range.
You would think that my dating problems would disappear once I had achieved that kind of success, but unfortunately the opposite was true.
I pride myself of being a good judge of character. Maybe that was the problem. I was too good at it.
None of the women I met gave a damn about me. Oh sure, they played the part and feigned concern with practised skill, but I could always see the truth of it in their eyes. When they looked at me all they saw was a dollar sign.
Without wishing to boast I'd like to point out that I'm rather a handsome devil. I dress well. I work out religiously. I eat strictly.
Strangely, I did far better with women when I had no money. Let me be more specific. I did far better with the women that I was attracted to.
Real. Genuine. Interested in me and not my wallet.
Lately things had taken a turn that I did not expect. All the real and genuine women that I loved so much considered me to be out of their league.
I was now being targeted by an endless series of money grabbing gold diggers. None of them gave a damn about me, they were just trying to 'land' me as if I was their own personal 'White Whale'.
As a wise person once said, "Money can't buy you happiness, but it will let you park your yacht next to it." I'd like to buy whoever said that a drink.
I'm still just a man and I have desires and needs.
One night I had what I like to refer to as my 'Patrick Bateman' moment.
I just got sick of being so alone, and so, for the first time in my life I ordered a call-girl.
A very expensive and high-priced call-girl.
I remember making that call to the agency vividly. I recall the words that came out of my mouth, but to this day I still don't know where they came from.
"Aw hell, you know what?" I had said trying to sound like I had done this a million times before. "Send me two girls. A blonde and a brunette. Can you do that?"
"Certainly Mr Shaw, we will send Amber and Tiffany to you right away."
Well, that was how it all began. I can trace my downward slide into infamy back to that one conversation.
I remember actually popping some Viagra for the first time in my life that night and it wasn't because I had ever needed it before.
I was afraid that my intense nervousness at bedding two women at the same time would kill my performance.
My ego was getting the better of me. I wanted to be able fuck and then come and then keep on fucking immediately.
I wanted to prove that I could not only fuck two women, but that I could do it until the both of them were spent in every way.
I more or less re-created a certain scene from the movie 'American Psycho' right there in my bedroom. I did decide however, not to play the song 'Susudio' by Phil Collins in the background. That would have been a little too much.
I'm proud to say that I gave 'Pat Bateman' a run for his money. I took both girls in turns and then I took them both together. Viagra is such a bizarre drug. The human male is not designed to be able to fuck for four hours solid but that's exactly what I did.
Poor little Amber and Tiffany probably didn't walk straight for days after that.
I had successfully ticked my 'American Psycho' experience off my bucket list. (Now if I could just find a business card printer that uses a 'scilian rail' font then I'll finally be complete...and yes..I have tried).
Little did I know then, that there would be a huge price to pay for my night with Tiffany and Amber.
About a month after that night, the escort agency was raided by the police. The media frenzy that followed the raid effectively ended the careers and marriages of many men (and one or two women).
New revelations seemed to come out almost daily in the media. A who's who of the business world began to emerge amongst the clientèle.
As you can imagine, I was petrified that the details of that one night would emerge, but I was also confident that because I was such a relative nobody compared to the other names on the list, nobody would know who I was or even care.
It was, of all publications, my community newspaper that picked up the ball and ran with it in the end.
'LOCAL PROPERTY MILLIONAIRE EXPOSED: HIS WILD SEX ROMP WITH CALL GIRLS REVEALED'.
I can't even begin to explain what seeing that headline felt like. My blood ran cold as I saw an old picture of myself taken five years ago underneath those words.
It felt like my life was over.