(Author's note: Thank you to all who have sent encouraging comments and e-mails, as well as the constructive critique! Writing is much easier when you know you have an interested audience. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real people, places, and/or things is coincidental.)
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The dream returned that night. She was again chained and bound in the center of the mall, slowly turning as shoppers strolled by. The naked man was back, this time joined by her admirer from yesterday. The two were standing on opposite sides of the stage so that while one had a perfect view of her breasts and opened legs, the other had an equally clear view of her tensed rear-end and bound arms. As the pedestal turned beneath her, she could see the pot-bellied man stroking his inhuman length while the man with the chiseled chest and muscular arms did the same to his own massive shaft. Again, Gwen awoke before she could see how it ended.
By the time Tim stumbled into the kitchen that morning, Gwen had made pancakes and a decision on what she had to do.
"You getting up early like this is going to make me fat," Tim teased as he sat down.
"You work too hard to get fat," she gently admonished, mind racing in all directions while the Lady sat triumphantly on her shoulder. "You really need to relax more."
"Last night was pretty relaxing," her husband replied, risking a joke. Sex was something rarely discussed and never made light of, but he sensed something had changed.
Gwen grunted in response, wanting to tell him how much she had enjoyed it too, but knowing to admit that would be wrong, that it would also be further evidence of her mental instability.
Tim rose and hugged her. "I haven't seen you get up early like this since the girls were still here. What's bothering you?"
Gwen smiled and patted his arm, then stood and moved to the coffee maker. "Nothing serious, dear, just silly woman's stuff." She really wanted to confess to him how she thought she was becoming a pervert, how she thought she was going crazy, but not now. Not until she had a chance to talk to someone else, maybe get some professional help...
He let it slide and the morning went on as it normally did. The last truck was pulling on to the road when Gwen dialed the phone.
"...hello?" came a sleepy voice on the other end of the line.
"Hi Natalie? It's Gwen. It sounds like I woke you?"
"Yeah, I've got the three-to-midnight shift at the hospital. One of the other supervisors is on maternity leave," the slowly waking voice replied. "What's up?'
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize!" Gwen stammered. "I can call back later!"
"No, no, it's fine, I was going to get up soon anyways," her sister-in-law lied. "What's up?"
"Well, I was uhhh, wondering if you, uhh, might like to go riding today?"
"Sure, sounds like fun. Are you coming, too?" she asked with a hint of teasing sarcasm.
"Of course!" Gwen answered, not missing the jibe. While she and Natalie had always been polite and civil to each other, they had not developed a bond—Gwen had always thought her too spirited and carefree for her tastes, Natalie seeing her sister-in-law as a prim stick-in-the-mud. "I thought since I'm taking Dart out, and Tigger hasn't been ridden since KD was home before she went off for her summer internship, that you might like to come up?"
"Sounds great," the voice answered. "Be up in a couple of hours?"
Both horses were groomed and saddled when Natalie pulled into the yard. Out of sheer force of habit Gwen appraised the woman's attire as she approached—snug fitting jeans that Gwen knew from experience just barely contained and concealed a very round rear-end, and an equally tight white pocket-T. She noted with grim amusement that Natalie's pink jogbra was clearly visible underneath the shirt, the woman's abundant chest bouncing slightly despite the evident support. Gwen could never understand how women could wear only a jogbra when exercisinga—a bra was a bra as far as she was concerned, and should not be seen. The fact that Natalie's was covered by layer of thin white fabric was only slightly better. At least she was wearing proper boots, Gwen sighed to herself.
A polite hug and pleasantries were exchanged, and she watched as her sister-in-law effortlessly swung into the saddle. She was a natural rider, Gwen had to admit to herself. Natalie had never ridden prior to meeting Gwen's brother Adam, but took to it naturally every time she was offered the chance to ride one of the Nelson horses. She's very comfortable in the saddle, she thought, but Miss Ritter, the chief riding instructor at the stable Gwen had worked at before meeting Tim, would have an absolute fit if she could see her posture. Memories from that time began to collect. Not now, Gwen told herself angrily. Not now!
The pair started up the trail into the woods behind the house, exchanging small talk about various family interests and goings on. Gradually, the two lapsed into silence, the sound of eight hooves thudding against the packed dirt keeping time with the songbirds sitting above the by the the treelined path.
"Natalie, you took some psychology courses when you went to school, didn't you?"
The content and suddenness of the question surprised the younger woman. "Yeah, it's part of the curriculum at any accredited nursing college. I also did a rotation in the medical psych ward when I was getting my certificate. Why do you ask?"
"Well..." the woman next to her shifted uneasily and pressed on. "Well, I'm hoping you can give me your opinion on something."
Natalie chose her words carefully. "OK, you know I'm not a mental health expert, right? I can give you my opinion, but it's just that."
Gwen smiled in acknowledgement. The family had assumed when they first meet Adam's new girlfriend that she was just a bubble-headed blonde hoping to score some money from the family in an 'oops, I'm pregnant" sort of way, but she had proven herself to be a very smart, savvy woman, scoring high marks in the nursing program she had attended before earning praise and recognition for her abilities and grace under pressure in the Emergency room. In turn, she had parlayed this into a move into the Cardiac Care wing, and now, a supervisory position. No, she was not a mental health expert, but probably the closest to one that Gwen knew.
"I know, but maybe you can point me in the right direction. I can trust you to keep this a secret, right? Even from Tim and Adam?"
"What's said between us, stays between us," Natalie replied gravely. "That goes both ways."
"Thank you, I appreciate that. So..." Gwen mustered her courage, unsure how to start now that she was here. "So, I was shopping for a new dress earlier this week, and I tried one on. Unfortunately, I accidentally left the dressing room curtain open a little, and I think there was a guy in the waiting area who might have seen me in my underwear." Natalie looked at her sister-in-law impassively, waiting for more.
"It was a complete accident," Gwen repeated, "and at first I was upset, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was kind of excited by it, by the idea this guy would want to look at me."
"A guy saw you in your underwear and it turned you on. Not seeing the need for shock therapy yet. Is there more?" Natalie deadpanned.
"Yes, of course," Gwen responded, mildly surprised her riding companion did not find her admission the least bit shocking. "The next day, I spent the day running around the house in my underwear, and I, uhhh, this is so hard to say...I touched myself down there." The blushing woman dropped her gaze to her crotch.
Natalie's looked over at her sister-in-law. "Did you know that at the turn of the century, physicians would use vibrators to give orgasms to women showing signs of 'hysteria'? Said it relaxed and quieted them, and that it was a sure cure. Imagine that. I'm sorry, I interrupted you. I'm guessing you were imagining that someone could see you running around like that? Or maybe hoping?"
Gwen nodded her head, unwilling to make eye contact.
"Anything else?"
"Yesterday, I went dress shopping again. This time I intentionally left the curtain open a little. I didn't think anyone would see me, but..."
"Someone did?"
Again her sister-in-law nodded miserably, and Natalie could sense the torture she was putting herself through. "Anything else?"
"Natalie, isn't that enough? That I like showing myself to strange men, so much so that I can't stop thinking about it? And my dreams.—" Gwen stopped herself, unwilling to discuss that aspect.
"You had dreams about it, Gwen? Do you remember them? C'mon, you can tell me, your secret is safe with me, right?"
Still Gwen resisted, wanting to lie and tell her she could not remember them.
"Dreams are just dreams," Natalie said gently. "They're where the mind goes to take time off from the serious business of keeping our bodies going. Look, when I first started in Cardio, there was this patient—really handsome guy, really big penis." Gwen looked at her in shock. "Hey, I'm a nurse, not a robot," Natalie explained. "We notice these things. Anyways, he was in because of an arrhythmia. Well, all the cardio patients' heart rates are monitored from the nurse's station, in case someone goes into arrest, that kind of thing. I was on the late shift one night, and this guy's heart rate and BP start to climb. I saw it and got up to go to his room to see what the problem was, but one of the older nurses stopped me. 'He's fine,' she said.
But look at the monitor, I told her. That doesn't look good.
He's fine, she told me again. It'll be back to normal in a few minutes.
How do you know that? I asked.
She laughed and said, "he's masturbating. Once he finishes he'll be back to normal. He's cleared for light exercise, and I'd say this qualifies, don't you? But if you want to go help clean up, make sure the monitor leads don't get wet..."
Natalie laughed. "I guess this was a common occurrence and kind of an initiation that all the new nurses go through. And you know what, for a week after that I had a recurring dream where I had to resuscitate that guy by rushing in there and giving him head! Now, I knew from my training that CPR didn't work that way, and it would get me fired and possibly prosecuted, but my brain knew no boundaries when I was asleep. Same thing for you. Just because you're dreaming something doesn't mean it has to happen in real life, So, what are you dreaming about?"
Gwen decided to bare all, to reveal just how sick she really was. "I had the same dream, twice," she muttered while looking down at the trail moving along below her. "I was tied up on the center stage at the mall, and I was naked. The two guys who saw me in the dressing room were naked too, and they were looking at me. They, were, uhh, touching their things..."
"Sounds interesting. Anything else?"