This story is a continuation of
A Little Harmless Exhibitionism
Sheltered wife regrets marrying her first boyfriend
.
If you haven't read Part I already then start at the link above before reading this one.
I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment. Let me know what you like and don't like.
We pulled off the motorway back into the city and he drove me to my hotel. I asked Jeremy if he wanted to come up and have a drink while I got ready. He said no, he would meet me in the lobby at 7pm. I was a little disappointed that he was so respectful - not even a kiss yet - he had more or less seen me naked at the beach not to mention several clothes shops but he hadn't tried anything - maybe it won't happen? I was being really compliant, not throwing myself at him, but totally letting my guard down - all he had to do was ask or even not ask, just read the signals. What do I have to do?
Be patient, I told myself, I think it will be a good night. I was excited to get dressed up. I was excited to be in a city where no one knew me.
I was ready. I forced myself to be a few mins late coming down to the lobby. I was keen to continue our adventure, but I wanted him to wait for me, not the other way around. I was self conscious about the dress. I had built myself up to wearing it, I was determined. But, it
was
taking
all
my determination! I didn't want to hang out in the lobby alone. I wanted him to support me, help me, like he did in he boutique and on the beach. I wanted the bravest outfit I ever wore to get off to a good start, like him saying something nice. Not a bad start like the hotel staff complaining or asking me to leave or unwanted attention from random strangers. So I had a GnT in my room as I counted the minutes to 7pm and counted the seconds to to 7:05.
Ready? At the last minute I started panicking. I had already spent over an hour at the mirror - not including hair and makeup. I had tried almost everything in my suitcase with the dress. It just seemed impossible to wear it on its own. The only thing that was remotely like an option was a silk scarf, it kinda looked OK as a shoulder wrap. At least I could cover up a bit? At least some of the time. At least until I got out of the hotel. I had decided not to wear it, put it back in my case, taken it out again, put it away again. Now I grabbed it.
I was in the lift. In my white heels from that morning, my new white dress from Jeremy, and the white silk shawl - my safety blanket. I felt shame for not behaving more shamefully, if you know what I mean. Like I had not lived up the the standard that I had set for myself.
An older couple got into the lift on the way down. I could feel them staring at me. The lift had mirrors on 4 sides, nowhere to look without seeing myself and their reactions. Oh my...
As the lift doors opened onto the lobby Jeremy was waiting for me. I was happy to see him. He kissed me on the cheek. Hmmm, we'll have to improve on that later.
"You look fantastic," he said.
I was happy to hear it, even if it was kind of formulaic, I was still very happy to hear it.
"Shall we get out of here?" he asked.
I was happy to get out of the hotel lobby too. In a foreign country, in a city where no one knew me, the hotel staff were the only people besides Jeremy that had my details, that knew my name. I was happy to get out of there, back to the anonymity and all the promise of London nightlife. The evening air was warm, in the city, in the summer, hot.
First off Jeremy lead us to a London pub for a drink. To my eyes it looked exactly like the London pubs I had seen in those old Guy Ritchie movies, it was called the 'Crown and something', or something. Typical British pub, it had lots of wood, and carpet and archways. I had a GnT, he had a beer, a pint. There were a few regulars, a few after work drinkers. It was a bit lame, if I'm honest. I had a feeling like I didn't get dressed up to drink GnT in this dive. And, mores to the point, I'm not taking off this scarf for these loosers.
I guess he sensed my disappointment, half way through his pint he said, "Lets move on. Bit dead here in fairness." I was happy to hear it. "I made reservations in a nice restaurant near here. I think it will be OK to show up early," he said.
The restaurant was nice. Modern. Fancy. This was more like it. I knew that London has great restaurants, I had been looking forward to it. The maรฎtre d' was attentive. As he lead us to our table I sensed eyes on me. I liked the look of the other diners, stylish, trendy, all ages, well dressed, smiling and enjoying. Lots of couples, not really any tables with more than 4. I felt eyes on me, the diners, the men, women, the staff too, and I didn't mind, I liked it.
Jeremy ordered champagne. I did not look at the prices.