I know what you are thinking. But this is going to have to be remembered as the greatest day of my life...well at least the greatest day I have had in the last two weeks.
Let me describe where it all took place for starters. I work in a retail store in a pretty slow mall. We sell those specialty mattresses with the sleep numbers. Personally I hate them but hey I got to eat right. We generally get one or two customers a week so there is a lot of down time. I suppose I could use it to find a way to bring in customers but of course there is no fun in that so I use it to surf the Internet for porn. Which is where this all starts going south.
I was looking at one of my favorite picture posting websites with about an hour to go until closing when I hear the alarm on the door chime to let me know that there is a customer. I quickly close the window on the screen and get up to help, when I realize it is my regional supervisor. What I did not realize however, is that the computer had frozen with a picture of an amazingly well endowed, blonde Amazon on the screen. To make matters worse, said Amazon was apparently confused as to where the carrot was really supposed to go.
As the boss saw this, I could see her eyes narrow as if in anger and then she sat down and told me to do the same. She then starts in on me about proper use of down time, and also how I was misusing the company computer. There was more but what I started to notice was that as she went on she was getting a little red in the face, and she was also breathing a little heavier than I would expect. That is when I realized that she had not yet restarted to computer so the image on the screen would vanish. I also realized that even though she was talking to me that she was intent on that screen. Then she asked me what else I did on company time that I was not supposed to be doing.
"Are you enjoying getting paid to look at pictures of naked women?"
"What do you do while you look, huh? I bet you just pull it out and start going at yourself right at the desk you dirty pervert!"