A Good Christian Woman Ch 02

------JESSICA------

I walked to James' dorm with a painful tangle in my chest.

What the heck just happened? The whole thing was such a wild blur, from the moment I opened my eyes while kneeling to the moment I left. I had never seen a penis in real life. I'd never seen another woman naked either. And I'd CERTAINLY never seen a woman having sex in person. He was so... aggressive with her too. Just a few minutes earlier Sarah was speaking so kindly about her boyfriend, how did she go from that, to THAT?

However it happened. It was pretty clear she was enjoying herself. Enjoying herself enough to cheat on her boyfriend though? And with some random guy she'd never met? It felt like a dream, or nightmare, but I had to consider how incredible it must have felt for her to have done that.

I mean, to some extent, I understood. What Adam did with his mouth was... mind bending. If I wasn't shocked out of the moment by him kissing me, would I have ended up like Sarah? My heart felt like an anchor, a constant tugging guilt. James deserves to know what happened. James should have been the one to do that to me. We were supposed to do all of this together after we got married.

But... maybe... Maybe they're right. Maybe I could just pretend it didn't happen. James will still see me as perfectly pure, despite how dirty I felt. My mom REALLY wanted me to pledge to Kappa Phi, and I didn't want to disappoint her by quitting. But how could I get through all 4 years of this, let alone this next party, and still remain pure for James.

I was walking on autopilot, thinking about all of this and struggling with the confusing mess of emotions when something occurred to me. Did mom KNOW this is what Kappa Phi was? I always felt like I could talk to my mother about ANYTHING so I pulled my phone from my bag and sat on a bench outside of James' dorm. I pulled up my mom, and called her. A few rings later, she picked up.

"Hey baby! How are you is everything okay?" She sung, happily, from the other side of the phone. Her voice was deeply comforting, exactly what I needed.

"Hey mom. Yeah I guess it's okay. I just... How was Kappa Phi when you were here? Did they have a... reputation?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"Oh! Um, yes one moment sweetie." She said, followed by a few moments of silence before she spoke again, this time in a whisper.

"Did the first party already happen? How many stars did you get?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"What? Stars? No, it's on Friday. Wait..." I said, stunned, as her implication crashed into me. My breath caught in my throat. Did she know?

"Oh okay. So just the pre-test then right? I'm sure that was a shock. How did it go?" My mother asked, sounding so kind and supportive despite the information she was relaying to me.

"YOU KNEW? Mom! They... made us kneel like we were praying but then there were... boys in front of us." I summoned the words as best as I could.

"I know baby, I know, it's always a surprise for the new girls. It lets the older girls know who needs more guidance if it's a surprise. Did you satisfy your man?" She asked, as if we were talking about picking up groceries or putting dinner in the oven.

"James is my man! This guy... tried to put himself in my mouth but I pushed him away." I said, flabbergasted by my mothers tone.

"Aw, sweetheart I know that, we love James! I see a lot of your father in him. How do you think I've kept him happy for 30 years baby? Practice, practice, practice! I know it's a shock, but you need to lean in to the experience." My mother said softly, still whispering on the other side of the phone.

"Mom! I'm supposed to stay pure for my husband. For James. That's what we were always taught." I pleaded, trying to draw something I could make sense of from my mother. This was all so confusing.

"Oh baby. This is how you can be a good Christian woman. We're supposed to serve our Lord and our husbands. Men want a woman who knows what she's doing in the bedroom, so long as James thinks you're pure, that's what matters. He gets the best of both worlds." She explained, like she was telling me some secret all women find out at a certain age. A secret that was kept from me, until now, for my own good.

"Does dad know about all this?" I squeaked out.

"Ummm, kind of!" She said, breaking from her whisper with a laugh, "It can be complicated. And it's best that they don't know while you're practicing and learning. It's going to be hard for you since James decided to follow you to college. But if you can keep the secret, you'll make the perfect wife for him when the time comes."

I didn't know what to say, this was so much to take. My whole life I was raised to be pure, innocent, sweet, kind, obedient. Now my mother is telling me I need to cheat on James? And give all my firsts to some stranger? Is this really what all Christian women do?

"It's so much mom. I don't know if I can handle it. I want to be a good wife for James, but this is... scary." I said.

"I know baby, I know, I was scared too. They should have something at the party for you to calm your nerves, you should take it. I caught on pretty quick, and I know you will too. Gosh, it's 4 already and your father will be expecting his afternoon service. I have to go but give me a call whenever baby! I love you!" She said, and images of what my mother was going to do flashed in my head.

I pushed the thought from my mind but I couldn't help but consider. Would she act how I did? On my knees pushing him away? Or would she act like Sarah? Enthusiastically accepting and following instructions? Which would James prefer me to be? For him?

"I love you too, mom." I said, hanging up the phone as I walked up to James' room.

------JAMES------

I heard the knocking at my door, and opened it to my beautiful girlfriend waiting for me. She was gorgeous as always, dressed in a modest floral top and long black skirt. Try as she might to hide them, her curves were still quite visible. I fought back the intrusive thoughts of seeing her naked breasts hanging in front of me while she jiggled them. It was getting harder and harder to deal with these thoughts these days. Years of pent up sexual frustration beginning to burst at the seams.

"Hey baby! How were your classes? Is your roommate here?" Jess asked, walking into the dorm and standing on her tip toes to plant a kiss on my cheek.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead before walking her into my room to sit on the bed.

"Nope, just us! And they were good, a lot of work, but good!" I said, trying to find the words to ask what I needed to, "How did the Kappa Phi meeting go?"

She seemed to freeze for a moment, playing with her hands, before saying, "Good. They just said we had to go to this party on Friday."

A small silence hung in the air between us, before I mustered the courage to speak what was on my mind.

"Hey I've heard some things about Kappa Phi, and I don't mean to insult or insinuate anything, but I thought you should know what people are saying. My buddy Phil said there's a sort of... promiscuous, reputation around school for Kappa Phi. He said they're expected to have sex at this party." I blurted out. The nerves that were building up in me both around the veracity of this rumor and how Jess might respond to it had me on edge for the past few hours.

Jess went paler than normal, and her eyes dropped to her shoes as she continued fiddling with her hands.

"Hey it's not like I believe that you'd do anything!" I said, trying to salvage the situation, "I just, thought I should be honest with what I'd heard."

"No, it's okay, I've heard it too. I haven't seen or heard anything like that from the people in Kappa Phi. But I've heard other people mention it." Jess said, seeming particularly troubled.

"Okay, I figured it was just some stupid rumor. I'm happy to hear the sorority isn't anything like what I've heard. But if anything ever gets weird while you're there, you can always call me." I said, doing my best to be supportive, "I can even come to the party just to keep an eye out for you."

"No!" Jess shot back, with a level of urgency I'd never seen from her.

"I mean, no. It's okay. You've got a lot of work to do baby, it's just a party and I can handle myself. I promise." She smiled up at me sweetly, her eyes flicking between my eyes and my lips. I leaned down and kissed her deeply.

I went to pull back from my kiss, like normal, but she wrapped her arms around my neck holding me to her. It felt amazing, we'd never had a kiss this long. A moment later she shifted her body and swung her leg around so she was sitting on my lap and facing me in a straddling type position. Immediately I was hard, I felt my boner push against my sweatpants and I'm sure she could feel it press into her. An insane rush flooded through my body. This was amazing, incredible, arousing - too arousing. I gently pushed against her and broke our kiss, but she just moved her head to the side and kissed my neck.

"Baby, we can't. It feels so good but we can't" I said, wanting nothing more than to let it continue. Her hips slowly gyrated against me as she kissed my neck and I felt my boner swell harder as a sensation began to build. I placed my hands on her hips and tried to stop her from the rolling motion she was doing with her hips, but only succeeded in pushing her harder against me.

"Jess stop, I'm gonna-" I groaned as she continued grinding against me. My orgasm had built and crested over the point of no return. I felt my penis pump in my pants and I leaned into her, feeling her breasts press against my chest as I flooded my underwear with cum.

"Ungh... Jeeze. God... Jess." I moaned quietly into her ear.

She pulled her face from my neck and kissed me again as she continued rocking her hips.

"I'm going to be the best wife I can be for you James. I love you so much." She said, and I thought I could see some tears forming in her eyes.

"I love you too, Jess. I can't wait to be your husband. This felt great, but we need to be stronger." I said, as my cum soaked into my underwear and sweatpants.

"Yeah." She said, smiling at me, "You're right. I don't know what came over me."

We spent the next couple of hours hanging out and watching some YouTube videos as we cuddled on my bed. I switched out of my stained clothing, into something less wet, and ruminated on what had happened. Normally she was so good about pulling away when things got heated. Something really did get into her today. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't worry me a bit. She joined this sorority with a reputation for some more sexual behaviors, and then exhibited those types of behaviors with me?

Maybe I was overthinking things. She had no reason to lie, right? I didn't even think she COULD lie if she wanted to. Jess was always honest, kind, pure. Still, something nagged at me over the next day or so. Phil had sent me a text with an invite to the party, showing the address/time/etc. And my curiosity got the better of me.

It was styled as a masquerade type of party and the flyer requested that people should wear a mask and dress appropriately. Maybe it was deceptive of me to go to the party without telling Jess. No, I knew it was. But I had to see for myself what Kappa Phi was all about. If nothing more than to put my worries to bed.

I ran out to a shop nearby that sold cheap costumes and grabbed a mask, a hat, and some fancy-ish clothing. The night of the party, I got all dressed up in my disguise, and headed out.

------JESSICA------

I was so worked up and confused that day after the Kappa Phi meeting and my conversation with my mom, despite the shock of everything I had to deal with. Maybe because of it. It felt like everything I thought I knew was wrong, but still, I felt guilt over what had happened with Adam.

When James kissed me in his dorm it felt RIGHT. In some strange way, I felt like if I was able to make James feel good then it would counterbalance what happened with Adam. It doesn't make sense, I know, but that's how I felt. So I straddled him, kissed him, and rocked my hips on him. I felt his boner through his pants and tried to concentrate my grinding on what I thought was the tip of his penis, like Adam had taught me.

It worked, evidently. And part of me was very thankful that what I felt through his pants wasn't nearly as large as Adam. I took some amount of comfort in knowing that James was comparatively, much easier to handle. I knew girls who would say they liked big ones, but that made no sense to me at the time.

The next couple of days passed smoothly, but the nerves got worse and worse as the day of the party approached. I had a choice to make. Leave the sorority, or follow my mom's advice. Stay loyal and faithful and pure? Or gain experience in the bedroom so I can better please him? My mom was always so supportive, so kind. My parents had an incredible relationship, was it really her experience in Kappa Phi that made that possible?

James was good at making sure we both stayed pure. I normally was too, but my desires have been bubbling to the surface more and more recently. It felt so amazing to make James quiver against me, hold me tight, and the MOANS he made. Oh my gosh, so delicious. When I'm his wife, if I can make him feel like that or better, I would feel so fulfilled. I would just have to make a personal sacrifice. A secret to be kept forever, in order to create this perfect future for us.

It was so contradictory, so confusing. That in order to please my husband I needed to cheat on him? To freely give my precious purity to strangers? But I simply couldn't argue with the results. My parents had been together, happily, for years. And I used the tip Adam gave me to please James. I had to give up control. I had to trust my mother. I had to have faith. I steeled myself, and prepared to lean in to the experience.

I arrived to the Kappa Phi house two hours before the party was supposed to start at the frat nearby. Kim had reached out to all of us the previous day saying that she needed to chat with us before the party started so we could know what was expected of us. When I arrived, there were a few other girls there, including Sarah, who waved sheepishly at me when I arrived.

"Hey" I said, walking up to Sarah, "How are you feeling?"

"Nervous." She replied, wringing her hands, "Last time was... eye-opening for sure. I don't know what came over me."

"I can understand that. It's a lot to try to make sense of. I talked to my mom about it all, and she kind of made me feel like this whole thing will be good in the long run. Just have faith Sarah." I said, trying to make myself believe my own words.

"You talked to your MOM about this?" She said, wide-eyed

"Yeah! She was in Kappa Phi back in the day, she's the one who suggested I pledge here. I just wish I knew in advance what it was about." I said, feeling some amount of pride that my mother was a Kappa Phi girl.

"Wow" Sarah said, "Gosh, and are your parent's still together? Does this actually work?"

"Yep! Happy as ever. My dad thinks he was her first, she says. It's a mean secret, but seeing how it's worked out for her makes it difficult to argue the effectiveness." I explained, again trying to make myself feel better about what might be coming.

"Wow, that's amazing. Is she satisfied with your father though? I mean she got all this extra experience, but he didn't have any. I had sex before, but a couple days ago was... something else entirely. I'd never felt ANYTHING like that. I worry that Anthony may not measure up. Is that horrible to say?" Sarah asked, looking genuinely distressed.

"We get our satisfaction from serving the lord, and our husbands, Sarah. Anything else is just a bonus!" I said, parroting my mom. She said to lean in, I'm trying to lean in.

"You sound just like Kim!" She laughed, but her eyes displayed a more worried expression.

A few other girls filtered in while we talked. Kim and some of the other older girls came down from upstairs to greet us all. Kim held some old leatherbound book in her arms.

"Alright girllllssss! Big night is here. This is your first real taste of Kappa Phi life. You all did so well at the Pre-test but Sarah went above and beyond! She stayed for hours servicing her assigned man." Kim began clapping her hands, and the rest of us joined in.

"Now, it was just a pre-test of course so no stars were awarded. Tonight though, you can start earning your way into the history books!" Kim said, tapping the book in her hand and looking around the room at a group of blank faces staring back her.

"Oh my gosh have I not explained the ranking system yet? I'm so sorry. Okay, so. At each party Kappa Phi is part of in an official capacity, we hand out 5, star-shaped, stickers to each of the boys who show up. Depending on the type of party, we'll either give you all a sash, or a stickerbook, or we'll just place a piece of paper with your name on a door. The boys MUST give 1 sticker to do anything with you. This is non-negotiable. This ensures that each girl receives some type of recognition for their services. It also helps us keep track of your training." Kim explained, and I did my best to keep up.

"Tonight is a door-party, so you'll each have your own rooms which will be guarded by one of us older girls, and we'll make sure the boys place a sticker on your name to get access to your room. Now! The boys are allowed to leave more than one sticker on the way out if they found your services particularly impressive. But that would mean one less sticker to try another room. So don't get your hopes up too high. At the first party with new pledges, usually the boys only give one sticker each so they can sample different girls." She looked around the room at us for acknowledgement.

I'm sure the other girls were as confused and nervous as I was. All the boys have to do is place a sticker on my door? That's... so easy. I started feeling dirty again, and nothing had even happened yet. I tried to remind myself that this is what my mother wants for me. This is how I can be a good wife to James. I fought my instincts to run, get out now, and go back to my normal life. Instead, I nodded my head.

"Now I know that's a lot to take in. Both figuratively and literally." She laughed, "But I promise once you get into the flow it will feel a lot better. The nerves are the worst part. A special rule for tonight, because you girls are new. Maximum 2 boys per room at a time, this gives you some time to get accustomed to everything. And though it's unlikely, boys can give all 5 stickers before entering your room to have you to themselves. If anyone tries something you don't want or gets too rough you can yell and the girl outside the door will break it up." She paused, taking a deep breath.

"Now, kind of personal question. But please raise your hand if you're still a virgin. Sarah, obviously this doesn't include you." Kim laughed, and Sarah gave a tense chuckle next to me.

Only me, and one other girl raised our hands.

"And what's your name again, sweetheart?" Kim asked the other girl.

"Kelly" She said meekly.

"Last name?" Asked Kim.

"Miller"

"Alrighty, and you?" Kim asked, turning to me.

"Jessica Bedrose." I replied, trying to keep my voice as even as possible despite the terrifying bundle of nerves in my stomach.

Kim's eyes snapped up to me, and she took a step closer.

"What's your mom's name, Jessica?" She asked, studying my face.

"Uhm... Carla. She actually was in Kappa Phi years ago." I replied.

"No way." Kim said, and I noticed a few of the older girls share giggles and glances. Kim flipped through the leatherbound book she was holding and I realized it wasn't a typical book. It was thick with pages upon pages of plastic sheets for paper to be inserted into. Each page had a womans picture. She walked over to me, and showed me one.